Are you planning to visit your crazy uncle Duncan?
this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
53 points (100.0% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
27165 readers
3136 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Talk over and faster than it. Make up scientific studies to sound credible.
You just gotta go pspspspsps
Shouldn't it be the reverse? Ƨqƨqƨqƨqƨqƨqƨq?
Finger in your ear and then hold it out for him to smell.
lol I read somewhere that this is how you get an unfamiliar cat to befriend you. They want to smell up close. Try it out!
Here you go! https://lifehacker.com/befriend-a-cat-with-your-earwax-1529804717
Lick it on the head to confuse it.
Only reported to work with lion dens, but might be extended to arenas as well.
Pray to the god of Daniel and be without sin before the face of god and the king. (DANIEL 6, 13)
If you're fighting a singular male lion on it's own... They're not brave without their pack and they're way more 'bark' than bite. It's just like a black bear, be as big and loud as you can. Do not ever run, this triggers an instinctual urge to chase. Alone in the face of a fight it's not sure it can win, the Lion will want to run though. That will just buy you time, closing the gap and actually winning the fight will depend on circumstances, but you can get the upper hand in a lot of ways.
Whatever happens, be thankful you're not fighting a Tiger.
I'll just wrestle it to the ground and bite its neck (I'm a vampire)
rookie vampire mistake. Just summon in a swarm of wolves and mist-form away whenever the lion gets close. Maybe shoot some of the spectators some beguiling eyes and throw them at the lions too. Once its too full to keep moving, then deliver the coup de grace.
Be an elephant.
Instructions unclear, now I'm a snake
YTA! Lion's house, lion's rules. Hit a lawyer, get Facebook, drop the gym. This narcissist is a textbook lion; I also choose this man's stupid prize.
you didn't mention the "Karen"
Bring all the Pokemon.
Get on top of one of those four pillars and then pray that your quiver has enough arrows. Good luck Grand Champion.
Alternatively, also send in your adoring fan as a diversion.
Poison a gazelle
Bribe the lion keeper. Your battle with a dead lion will be legendary.
Can you choose your weapons?
In that case, choose either a boar spear, or an Atchisson AA-12, depending on your era.
I heard once that if you rub the top of a cat's head with a toothbrush, it'll calm down.
Well known fact.
Alternatively, it will sit on any passing roomba, according to YouTube.
Has anyone tried placing a gherkin next to it mid battle?
The problem is, you are the passing roomba in this case
They have sensitive noses but they can't be stopped mid charge and likely won't be deterred by peeing in their face. Maintaining eye contact will make them slightly more hesitant but also angry.
They swipe harder and faster than Mike Tyson in his prime, but if it's a show lion it might be suffering from lifelong narcotics addiction so at least you've got that going for you. The bite force is enough to sever your limbs so never let it grab you.
TLDR Stay away but don't run, try to hit it's nose but never get near its face.
What are the rules? Are you allowed weapons of any sort?
Is it like gladiator style combat or are you allowed ranged weaponry?
This is pretty vague, and I'm fairly sure the community rules say that when posting questions about lions you need to be very specific otherwise you're what is known as a "dingus."
Catnip and hakuna matata
With a gun, the larger the calibre the better.
Get a really big laser pointer to distract it
Be Batman, have prep time.
Gun
Bring a shotgun
Punch that motherfucker in the nose so hard his skull flies out the back of his ass! The crowd will go wild.
Have lots of steaks with poison in it.
That or an assault rifle.
Its very important you change your name to Daniel.
Sampson would work as well.
Get two Rodesian Ridgebacks.