this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
845 points (98.8% liked)

Greentext

4310 readers
537 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] BallsandBayonets@lemmings.world 155 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (4 children)

"I'm going to teach your women to read, and encourage your children to go into a different profession than their fathers'!"

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 69 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Make women show their ankles in public next

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 16 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Lewd.
Where?
Which evil specifically & where can I find it??

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 days ago (2 children)
[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 10 points 4 days ago

Noses don't have ankles, stupid.

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 4 days ago

Depends on the religion, I guess.

[–] Lena@lemm.ee 8 points 4 days ago

This could be an anime

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 4 points 4 days ago

Those are, on average, still consisted extreme political beliefs, so a war is inevitable - choose your side.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 38 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Missed the follow-up post to this from tumblr

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 116 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Cthulhu for president 2024. Why settle for a lesser evil?

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 44 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Cthulhu is the CEO of, and the entire board of an international company that was originally started by selling second hand pencils, and is now in control of 2/3 of the worlds food supply, ceiling fans, caste iron cookware, navel ship contracts, fire alarm and led light bulb multinational alliances, crawfish bait stores, mesh trucker hats, smart TVs...

It's far above anything as simple as one countries president.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 41 points 5 days ago (5 children)

While the "caste iron cookware" sounds fascinating, I'm mostly interested in these "navel ships"

Please don't edit your comment, the mental images I'm getting from it are fantastic

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 36 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Attempting to fathom the terrors of the Old Ones only leads to maidness

[–] SpiderShoeCult@sopuli.xyz 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

*attempts to fathom terrors* *suddenly gets urge to put on a maid outfit and dust the place* You're not wrong...

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I’m mostly interested in these “navel ships”

You ever heard of "belly-button shots"? Well a navel ship is what you get if you float a tiny boat on one.

[–] Maestro@fedia.io 11 points 5 days ago

Tiny? Do you have any idea how large the Great Old One's navel is? You can float a destroyer in it...

[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Navel ships makes for the real cosmic horror here.

Lovecraftian horror is just realizing the earth is floating in a sea of dark matter that splooshed into the elder god's belly button.

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

What, haven't you seen fandoms shipping the bellybuttons of two characters together

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 4 points 4 days ago

These naval ships rely on the motion of the ocean to get where they wanna go

[–] cakey@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 5 days ago

Call of cthulhu - Nanowar Of Steel

It just sounds like what you wrotr

It’s far above anything as simple as one countries president.

How about every country's president/prime minister/king/etc?

[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 28 points 5 days ago

"

  • I'll drive all humanity insane!
  • How does the insanity manifest?
  • They'll carve strange sculptures, chant and dance around them, and maybe make orgies."
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 72 points 5 days ago (1 children)

“ancient evils” are usually things like blasphemy, insubordination or having intrinsic self-worth.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 17 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Ancient evils are actually pretty moderate. Anyone down to open The Gate? Yog'Sothoth seems chill and would love the internet.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yog’Sothoth stared into 4chan, and 4chan stared back. And Yog'Sothoth noped right on outta there.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yog'Sothoth does his dark bidding on the internet.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 3 points 4 days ago

There's no better place for it. Imagine still needing to supply robes and flesh-bound books.

[–] slingstone@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago
[–] OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee 46 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I could see it either way. The competing visions for ancient evil: Murdering children for asking questions, or the existence of unmarried women.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Yes, just like human countries - on average about that, but also produced on massive country/continent/empire scales.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 28 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

So moderate that I pledge my loyalty to it & move in its domain, defend it from objectively evil human empires, find inner peace & purpose.

[–] itsnotits@lemmy.world 19 points 4 days ago (3 children)
[–] technohacker@programming.dev 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 13 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] Klear@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

Snot, though...

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Happy Cakeday! 🍰🎂

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 3 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Thx (edited it), I just increasingly miss the ' shit when it's autocorrected.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] JargonWagon@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago

They were just born in the wrong time!

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Ancient evil awakens,

tries to invent the extended car warranty,

Doesn't understand why people aren't fleeing in terror.

[–] durfenstein@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

Qual coming at Frieren like...

load more comments
view more: next ›