this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
868 points (98.9% liked)

Greentext

4467 readers
1263 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] BallsandBayonets@lemmings.world 163 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (4 children)

"I'm going to teach your women to read, and encourage your children to go into a different profession than their fathers'!"

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 72 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Make women show their ankles in public next

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 19 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Lewd.
Where?
Which evil specifically & where can I find it??

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago

Noses don't have ankles, stupid.

[–] jol@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 3 weeks ago

Depends on the religion, I guess.

[–] Lena@lemm.ee 13 points 3 weeks ago

This could be an anime

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 6 points 3 weeks ago

Those are, on average, still consisted extreme political beliefs, so a war is inevitable - choose your side.

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 2 points 3 weeks ago

"...and the young shall not know where lieth the things possessed by their fathers that their fathers put there, only just the night before, about eight o'clock."

[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 119 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Cthulhu for president 2024. Why settle for a lesser evil?

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 46 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Cthulhu is the CEO of, and the entire board of an international company that was originally started by selling second hand pencils, and is now in control of 2/3 of the worlds food supply, ceiling fans, caste iron cookware, navel ship contracts, fire alarm and led light bulb multinational alliances, crawfish bait stores, mesh trucker hats, smart TVs...

It's far above anything as simple as one countries president.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 43 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

While the "caste iron cookware" sounds fascinating, I'm mostly interested in these "navel ships"

Please don't edit your comment, the mental images I'm getting from it are fantastic

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 38 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Attempting to fathom the terrors of the Old Ones only leads to maidness

[–] SpiderShoeCult@sopuli.xyz 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

*attempts to fathom terrors* *suddenly gets urge to put on a maid outfit and dust the place* You're not wrong...

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I’m mostly interested in these “navel ships”

You ever heard of "belly-button shots"? Well a navel ship is what you get if you float a tiny boat on one.

[–] Maestro@fedia.io 11 points 3 weeks ago

Tiny? Do you have any idea how large the Great Old One's navel is? You can float a destroyer in it...

[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Navel ships makes for the real cosmic horror here.

Lovecraftian horror is just realizing the earth is floating in a sea of dark matter that splooshed into the elder god's belly button.

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

What, haven't you seen fandoms shipping the bellybuttons of two characters together

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 weeks ago

These naval ships rely on the motion of the ocean to get where they wanna go

[–] cakey@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 3 weeks ago

Call of cthulhu - Nanowar Of Steel

It just sounds like what you wrotr

It’s far above anything as simple as one countries president.

How about every country's president/prime minister/king/etc?

[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 29 points 3 weeks ago

"

  • I'll drive all humanity insane!
  • How does the insanity manifest?
  • They'll carve strange sculptures, chant and dance around them, and maybe make orgies."
[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 74 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

“ancient evils” are usually things like blasphemy, insubordination or having intrinsic self-worth.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 19 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Ancient evils are actually pretty moderate. Anyone down to open The Gate? Yog'Sothoth seems chill and would love the internet.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yog’Sothoth stared into 4chan, and 4chan stared back. And Yog'Sothoth noped right on outta there.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Yog'Sothoth does his dark bidding on the internet.

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 3 points 3 weeks ago

There's no better place for it. Imagine still needing to supply robes and flesh-bound books.

[–] OldWoodFrame@lemm.ee 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I could see it either way. The competing visions for ancient evil: Murdering children for asking questions, or the existence of unmarried women.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 4 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Yes, just like human countries - on average about that, but also produced on massive country/continent/empire scales.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@lemmy.world 44 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Missed the follow-up post to this from tumblr

[–] slingstone@lemmy.world 30 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 28 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

So moderate that I pledge my loyalty to it & move in its domain, defend it from objectively evil human empires, find inner peace & purpose.

[–] itsnotits@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] technohacker@programming.dev 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Klear@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Snot, though...

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Happy Cakeday! 🍰🎂

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Thx (edited it), I just increasingly miss the ' shit when it's autocorrected.

[–] fed0sine@lemm.ee 2 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

This is my first time seeing itsnotits in the wild on Lemmy.

Before your edit, I would have walked away thinking they are a joke account that writes "its" for every grammatical situation, even if its incorrect.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] JargonWagon@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago

They were just born in the wrong time!

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Ancient evil awakens,

tries to invent the extended car warranty,

Doesn't understand why people aren't fleeing in terror.

[–] durfenstein@lemmy.world 2 points 3 weeks ago

Qual coming at Frieren like...

load more comments
view more: next ›