Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon awakens an ancient evil (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 5 days ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] TootSweet@lemmy.world 116 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Cthulhu for president 2024. Why settle for a lesser evil?

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 44 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (3 children)

Cthulhu is the CEO of, and the entire board of an international company that was originally started by selling second hand pencils, and is now in control of 2/3 of the worlds food supply, ceiling fans, caste iron cookware, navel ship contracts, fire alarm and led light bulb multinational alliances, crawfish bait stores, mesh trucker hats, smart TVs...

It's far above anything as simple as one countries president.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 41 points 5 days ago (5 children)

While the "caste iron cookware" sounds fascinating, I'm mostly interested in these "navel ships"

Please don't edit your comment, the mental images I'm getting from it are fantastic

[–] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 36 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Attempting to fathom the terrors of the Old Ones only leads to maidness

[–] SpiderShoeCult@sopuli.xyz 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

*attempts to fathom terrors* *suddenly gets urge to put on a maid outfit and dust the place* You're not wrong...

[–] Zagorath@aussie.zone 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I’m mostly interested in these “navel ships”

You ever heard of "belly-button shots"? Well a navel ship is what you get if you float a tiny boat on one.

[–] Maestro@fedia.io 11 points 5 days ago

Tiny? Do you have any idea how large the Great Old One's navel is? You can float a destroyer in it...

[–] BatrickPateman@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Navel ships makes for the real cosmic horror here.

[–] BalooWasWahoo@links.hackliberty.org 6 points 5 days ago

Lovecraftian horror is just realizing the earth is floating in a sea of dark matter that splooshed into the elder god's belly button.

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

What, haven't you seen fandoms shipping the bellybuttons of two characters together

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 4 points 5 days ago

These naval ships rely on the motion of the ocean to get where they wanna go

[–] cakey@discuss.tchncs.de 7 points 5 days ago

Call of cthulhu - Nanowar Of Steel

It just sounds like what you wrotr

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago

It’s far above anything as simple as one countries president.

How about every country's president/prime minister/king/etc?

[–] loaExMachina@sh.itjust.works 28 points 5 days ago

I'll drive all humanity insane!
How does the insanity manifest?
They'll carve strange sculptures, chant and dance around them, and maybe make orgies."