No Stupid Questions

Can’t smoke on the balcony,

Because that smoke goes into other people's apartments. People who may not also be smokers or may have asthma or other medical conditions in which 2nd hand smoke is bad. not actually a building choice... most states now bar smoking inside or near a multi-unit residential building.

can’t dry clothes on it,

19 states have some form of "right to dry" legislation, most of which would protect drying on patio space.

can’t cook on it,

usually a matter of firecode. where I am, it's illegal to have wood burning fire pits or charcoal grills, but gas grills are fine. Also, turkey friers.

These rules are because people are stupid and have caused apartment fires numerous times with these things. can you use charcoal safely? sure. Also, another reason smoking is generally illegal. there's always that one smoker that forgets to clear out the ashtray every so often and that catches fire. (or they put a tissue in it or something, and that's not at all fire retardant.)

can’t display any thing like a flag or banner on the balcony because of some made up aesthetic code, etc.

not actually legal. if there's a residential building code that bans political speech (banners, flags, etc) then that's a first amendment violation. The apartment can (maybe) ban things in their contract agreement, but that's not a building code. that's a contract agreement, and as long as it's not exactly graphic, it probably falls into the "unenforceable" category.

My friend had a balcony so small that one person had to crab walk out sideways and then a second person could stand in front of the door. We still stood out there and smoked though. The view was nice.

Can't smoke on the balcony,

Legally you cannot smoke here within 100ft of a door or window that ventilates another's workspace or living space as it represents carcinogenic pollution you're willfully emitting despite knowing the risks.

In allowing it, the landlord would be subject to a number of complaints, some of them like human rights violations carrying no upper limit to the compensation -- they could actually be sued for millions in the right extreme circumstances.

I approve of the ladder strategy. Work those legs!

A different design other than a basic box would allow them to make a large outdoor area at basically any level they want, not necessarily the ground, but that's of course more expensive as well.

yess we have a similar situation!! i was under the impression EVERYONE used their balconies!

I had a friend that was drunk and was smoking and leaning back on a balcony and went over. No one even heard him. One minute he was there, the next minute he was gone. No one even looked down for a few minutes because people were regularly coming and going from the balcony and people just assumed he went back inside.

Broke both his arms, his neck, fucked up his back, and had a major concussion. I think maybe he broke some ribs too. Really fucked him up. He didn't die, but the head injury caused a dramatic personality change and the neck and back stuff created chronic pain.

Another guy I knew intentionally jumped off a dorm balcony and severely and multiply fractured both his legs and fucked his knees forever.

Don't... uh, accidentally drop from great heights, people.

I don't sit on my balcony despite the table and chairs I have out there, but I have lots of plants that soften the view and spark joy. It's also a place the firefighters could pluck me from.

... or just 'exposed'. to neighbors, passers-by, and the pervert in the corner office across the street.

Agreed! They're always filthy/dusty and annoying to clean.

And even though no one gives a shit enough to stare, it's hard not to feel... watched.

I live in Berlin, and while I don't have a balcony myself, I spend a lot of time enviously starring at my neighbours that do, as they use them quite a bit.

Three stories? You're a brave soul.

Except BBQs are often against fire code so they're not allowed 😭