this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
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[–] keletappi@sopuli.xyz 57 points 1 month ago (1 children)

While not very humorous, some of the most useful permanent items on our shared shopping list include “That spice that ran out” and “That thing I was looking for the other day”. They’ve saved the day a few times over ten or so years.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

This is so stupid and completely genius at the same time. It would absolutely work for me.

[–] ludrol@bookwormstory.social 52 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (5 children)

1 flux capacitor
2 positrons
1 hug
1 thingamajig
3 liters of blinker fluid
one simple manual excavator
1 mol of oxygen
1 µg of unobtanium
1 grimoir for casting spells 
1 ring to rule them all
50 melons for grade school math problem

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

50 melons for grade school math problem

Actually I think I'm gonna start with:

"(10x-0.5)/2 snickers bars, where x is how much of my snickers you ate, you asshole."

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I charge a husband tax too. 10% of her snacks are mine.

[–] Thebular@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

"1 hug" is a regular addition to my fiancé's list when she asks me if there's anything I need. It's a great addition because then I get my hug!

[–] rowinxavier@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (5 children)
[–] ludrol@bookwormstory.social 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

top or bottom? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

[–] Hupf 6 points 1 month ago

🥺

👉👈

[–] Silentiea@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just really want some symmetry violation and new physics. It's getting stale in here.

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[–] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 2 points 1 month ago

Yummy! 😋

[–] Toes@ani.social 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

1 left sock

And much further down the list

1 right sock

[–] Shapillon@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

That's a delicious idea.

One might even say its sockulent

[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

fertilizer
gas
nails
cable
egg timer
pressure cooker
sunglasses
wig

And your partner will be soon on a list too.

[–] bi_tux@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

very important: you need POTASSIUM fertilizer

[–] Venicon@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

I honestly pop in ‘yo butt’ into our shared shopping list and it usually gets an eye roll.

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 14 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Male: condoms, canteloupe, watermelon, Vaseline Female:condoms, squash, cucumber, carrots,

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 month ago

As an aside, do not use Vaseline with condoms. In addition to it not being body safe for internal use, some condoms are still latex and vaseline will dissolve them. Most condoms these days are nitrile, but again see above re: internal insertion safety.

[–] ValiantDust 7 points 1 month ago

I feel like this only works if those are the only items on the list. If you also have apples, berries, potatoes, onions, shampoo and toothpaste, it's just a normal shopping list.

[–] pixeltree@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Only men are stretchy enough to fit melons up their ass, and women have to stick with more mundane phallic vegetables?

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[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Deez nuts

Edit: Which I recently found is a real brand of nuts. Dee's Nutz, I believe. So be careful or you may just end up with some unexpected, delicious peanuts to snack on.

[–] rbn@sopuli.xyz 13 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Amazing present for insert your own name here

[–] obinice@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I occasionally put "magic beans" on there :-)

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago
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[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Thank you. It's my first. 😊

[–] NoNotLikeThat@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago

My partner does this already. The number of times I've found "tush squish" is... I've lost track.

I got him back by adding chicken hats to his online cart.

[–] nondescripthandle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 2 points 1 month ago
[–] EABOD25@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago

Peace of mind

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 7 points 1 month ago
[–] P4ulin_Kbana@lemmy.eco.br 4 points 1 month ago

Everyone! Please keep commenting! I'm getting some great ideas here!

[–] spittingimage@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

~~Staple gun~~

Band-aids

[–] cheese_greater@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

This should be its own form of joke, like the Aristocrats. Come up with the wierdest most depraved shopping list(s)

[–] beliquititious@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Pet supplies for animals you don't have. Things that don't exist but sound like things you might find at a grocery store, like pot slippers from the kitchen utensils, vegan mangos, aged vermhölsterdoif cheese, or barkley salt. Rare spices the stores your partner shops at do not sell. I get a kick out of being macabre so long pork, stray child. Ingredients your partner hates. Confusing typos.

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[–] Andromxda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

300kg of Plutonium

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