this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2024

806 points (98.6% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

26915 readers

2436 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!

Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...

2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...

3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...

4. No Porn/Explicit

Content

-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...

5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts

-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...

6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.

Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)

Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

STRIKINGdebate2@lemmy.world

LillianVS@lemmy.world

WiildFiire@lemmy.world

Decoy321@lemmy.world

Thekingoflorda@lemmy.world

YoBuckStopsHere@lemmy.world

The_Picard_Maneuver@startrek.website

FlyingSquid@lemmy.world

The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world

806

I hope you don't have any plans this evening. (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

185 comments fedilink hide all child comments

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 95 points 2 months ago (1 children)

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Let's start with a big-ass "H"!

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] YtA4QCam2A9j7EfTgHrH@infosec.pub 87 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Amateurs. Never put a date on your rapture predictions. Just say it is happening soon.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] VitaminF 70 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Thank god there is no ninth of hexadecember, so no worries.

[–] BambiDiego@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe this in Julian calendar?!

That means we only have 247 years left!! REPENT!!

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 59 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's almost 9pm where I am and there's no sign of it. Jesus better hurry his ass up if he wants to be on time.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Maybe everyone around you is a filthy sinner.

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Maybe that's been the joke for centuries. The rapture happened but nobody made the cut. Seems consistent with the Bible.

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 58 points 2 months ago (4 children)

But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

Matthew 24:36.

RTFM, noob.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"Read The Fisherman Matthew"?

[–] Classy@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Read the fucking moom

[–] Matty_r@programming.dev 12 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Ride turtles for money

load more comments (2 replies)

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 43 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Hi guys, its the 19th here in Australia already and I can confirm that I have been Left Behind to suffer heck on earth for being a sinner and Im super over it already.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 15 points 2 months ago

You sure everybody got raptured and you're not just in Australia?

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 12 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Nah mate, that's just fuckin Thursdy.

load more comments (4 replies)

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] socsa@piefed.social 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Jesus better fucking come I've been jerking him off for like 20 minutes

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's currently September 19th

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] P1k1e@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I MISSED IT!?

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It's true. I'm getting raptured right n

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Well, well, well. Look who became a gentile and got themselves raptured.

[–] gedaliyah@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Okay, you got me, I'm still stuck here with all of you heretics

load more comments (4 replies)

[–] MapleEngineer@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (6 children)

~~9-18-24~~ ~~9-19-24~~ ~~9-20-24~~ ~~9-21-24~~ 9-22-24

I mean...if they keep this up they will be right eventually...right?

load more comments (6 replies)

[–] negativenull@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

They may have screwed up their ISO date format. They really mean it'll happen on the 9th day of the 18th month of 2024.

It tracks

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

nonsense, there are only 12 months

[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

so nobody can know the date of the rapture, and if someone figures it out god'll change it?

what if I make a website that just says "the rapture will be [current date +1]"

checkmate?

[–] dumbass@leminal.space 13 points 2 months ago

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 21 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not again

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 35 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Afraid so. Hope you enjoy the great snatch.

[–] TheFool@infosec.pub 36 points 2 months ago (5 children)

sigh - Days without thinking about her: 0

load more comments (5 replies)

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

From snatch you came, and to snatch you shall return.

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 21 points 2 months ago (2 children)

So I was justified when I left those dishes in the sink. Thank goodness. Thank you, Jesus.

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] The_Quaz@lemmy.world 19 points 2 months ago

[–] wesker@lemmy.sdf.org 18 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (4 children)

What mental gymnastics do you think the sign maker will have to perform, when nothing happens today?

[–] eezeebee@lemmy.ca 19 points 2 months ago

Mysterious Ways ™️

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] Railing5132@lemmy.world 18 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Oh, shit! Who will water my plants?!

[–] WaxedWookie@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (7 children)

It's your lucky day - I happen to run a post-rapture plant watering and pet sitting business - I'm sure as shit not getting raptured.

load more comments (7 replies)

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 17 points 2 months ago

God, I wish God would actually just end this cringe already.

[–] PhlubbaDubba@lemm.ee 17 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Good thing I tried pegging for the first time tonight then! Ticked that one off the bucket list just in time!

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Troubleinmind@lemmy.wtf 17 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Post-Rapture looting anyone?

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (7 children)

Why do you think I still live in Texas?

load more comments (7 replies)

load more comments (4 replies)

[–] Monster96@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's probably a coded message. Read it in the order of colors.

Jesus is rapture - 9-18-24 will on coming the happen.

It all makes sense!

[–] cmrn@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago

JESUS IS THE RAPTURE

COMING WILL HAPPEN ON 9-18-24

sigh… if you insist

load more comments (2 replies)

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Haha! Yeah right, this is like the ten thousandth time they've s

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can we go ahead and get the rapture over with so the rest of us can get some peace and god damn quiet?

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] AlligatorBlizzard@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Still the 18th here. Anyone know where I can buy some inflatable sex dolls and helium at this hour?

load more comments (5 replies)

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)

What timezone is the rapture in?

Trying to decide if I should stay up and get some photos

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago

Sorry, gonna have to miss the rapture, I have DnD this weekend.

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I didn’t get raptured, too much thc and alcohol in your system makes you too heavy for the angels to carry I think.

If all the good folk are gone though I sure hope for less traffic on my road trip this weekend. Praise jeebus? 🤷‍♂️

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments