this post was submitted on 05 Nov 2024
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(don't actually drink Drano, you're an idiot if you do)

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[–] Sludgehammer@lemmy.world 142 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I know this is just a joke, but seriously don't kill yourself by drinking lye/drain cleaner. It a horrible death, basically slowly charing your esophagus and stomach until you die.

[–] greenshirtdenimjeans@sh.itjust.works 58 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I might not be remembering it totally accurately but my school back in the day had some dude who attempted this come and talk to us about something, can’t remember exactly. Anyway, in order to save his life, doctors had to take his intestines and attach to his throat…OVER the rib cage. I’m pretty sure in order to eat he had to push the food down that over-the-rib intestine like trying to get the last of the toothpaste out of the tube.

[–] iheartneopets@lemm.ee 79 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

What a horrible day to know how to read

[–] itsJoelle@lemmy.world 21 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

For real, I just wanted to read about antics related to the American election, and homie is coming in with the “hey, I have a story about nightmare bowel reconstruction” that makes me simultaneously thankful everything is okay on my end, sad for another person, and grossed out at the same time.

I’m too exhausted for it.

[–] JargonWagon@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Here let me balance it out for you:

Jsndjslaleijenfnsknabwjelfoksnsbajririndnsnskfjkzmwowonrjfbdjzaiwjrnfnxksojendmxkzosmndnxndisnshufjd ok sndisnskdnidxjjsnndirjenf

Doesn't that make it better? For those that can't read, I typed out something wonderful. Text to audio doesn't do it justice.

[–] Juvyn00b@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I remember seeing this on TV - I believe it was grill cleaner? It's been quite some years... But I remember him showing how he had to manually push food down the front of his sternum... Creepy

You might be right, I don’t remember if it was on tv or in person. It has been like 25+ years. Either way, it’s fucked!

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

My mom has peristalsis. That means her esophagus muscles no longer work, and so she has to have soft foods that go down really easily and has to either sit up really straight or stand up while she eats.

And I thought she had it bad.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

I saw this on TV and it lives rent-free in my head, forever. Guy indeed has to manually assist chewed food on its way down. I don't recall if he's on a special diet, has to chew the hell out of his food for lack of a stomach, or anything else like that. What was clear is that how he got there, and the way life is now, is very unpleasant.

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago

It doesn’t just unclog your digestive tract to be like a slip n slide for your food to come ou the other end mostly intact? The media lied to me

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[–] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 95 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

As an Australian, i already know the results. Not going to say to avoid spoilers

[–] gregor@gregtech.eu 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Don't worry, I'm European, I won't tell them pesky Americans. You can tell me.

[–] assa123@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 weeks ago

don't worry, soon you will also know, and it will be before us. Have a nice EOD you travellers from the future.

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 53 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Yeah don't drink draino. If you feel depressed and want everything to end, try something new: small crimes (eg graffiti), starting a union, volunteer work for food bank, election volunteer, etc

[–] JusticeForPorygon@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

Start an underground resistance, harbor repressed people in your attic/basement, etc.

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

I would but I'm too depressed to even leave the house most days.

Has nothing to do with the election; that's just my default behavior.

[–] SparrowHawk@feddit.it 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If you're gonna be that extreme, just become an eco-tewwowist

[–] Entertainmeonly@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

UwU I'm an ecow-tewwowist now :3

[–] filcuk@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 weeks ago

Someone pass me the draino right now

This was a whole lot funnier 15 hours ago.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think you're supposed to inject the Drano or something? Like to kill fake diseases that totally never happened... Or was that bleach?

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[–] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 24 points 2 weeks ago

Liquid plumber works much better to clear clogged living.

[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The different hand writing is bothering me...

[–] blockheadjt@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 weeks ago

Someone did the Kamala one as a standalone. Then their spouse/roommate did the Trump one to supplement it.

[–] Ketchup@reddthat.com 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought Trump himself suggested bleach not draino.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Do you want to clean your system of COVID or not?

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

Instructions unclear. Tried to end it all, wound up cured of coronavirus instead.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Good plan. I mean personally I'd go with a .38 - Drano is gonna hurt like a motherfucker the whole time it's killing you.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Won’t hurt as bad as four more years of Trump.

[–] friendlymessage 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Poor fucking Ukriane..

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[–] someguy3@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

I thought you were supposed to inject bleach. (do I need /s?)

[–] satanmat@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] robocall@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I was wondering if it was Ozempic. thank you for sharing.

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[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Sooooo, the morning after is here. Please tell us you used the Drano to get a clog clear.

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

On one hand, lmao good meme

On the other, I genuinely wish depressed/suicidal people would dedicate their life to a random cause instead of offing themselves

[–] PugJesus@lemmy.world 70 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

On the other, I genuinely wish depressed/suicidal people would dedicate their life to a random cause instead of offing themselves

Man, half the reason is that the struggle is unbearable and never ends. "Go involve yourself more in the struggle" isn't really an answer to that.

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[–] can@sh.itjust.works 30 points 2 weeks ago

On the other, I genuinely wish depressed/suicidal people would dedicate their life to a random cause instead of offing themselves

It really doesn't work that way. You can work in charity and still deal with mental illness and suicidal ideation.

[–] FoxyFerengi@lemm.ee 19 points 2 weeks ago

Nearly every day at work or in school, or within my friend group, someone tells me I'm valued and make the world a better place. I am doing research on something important to me, getting a degree in environmental science, just did a production as stage manager and got to sew costumes to make my trans friends feel amazing on stage, and I still get home and think about blowing my brains out most days. Last winter I hospitalized myself again hoping to break the cycle of misery, and that didn't work. I'm one of the lucky suicidal people who can leave the house and interact with other humans (some of those love me, and I love back), but even that isn't a cure. Nothing has made life worth living, and after all these years I still don't know what would.

[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah it doesn’t work that way bro.

Take the most debilitating pain you’ve ever endured in your life, amp it up to “11”, and then live with it every single day from here until you die. 24/7.

Then when you think you might have a handle on managing it, have people like yourself make such dismissive comments on how you should dedicate your life to some “random cause” instead.

[–] GrundlButter@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago

Many depressed/suicidal folks often do give themselves to a cause or calling. Depression isn't just the episodic spiral you see portrayed as depression, it's also the hard fought days where only you can see your struggle. Along with therapy, exercise, and medication, "faking it til you make it" is the treatment plan, allowing yourself the freedom to try to function and feel better. And from experience, living for others is one of the easiest ways to push yourself to make an effort.

Unless you mean "dedicate their life to a random cause" as in "at least take someone awful with you". That's generally frowned upon advice, but I definitely understand the sentiment more than I wish.

[–] tengkuizdihar@programming.dev 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Software engineer here, that's like some of the modern open source library that's used by everyone.

[–] OsrsNeedsF2P@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

"Why haven't these bugs been fixed??"

"Maintainer killed herself 6 weeks ago"

F Near: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Near_(programmer)

As a depressed person, where the hell am I going to find the motivation? I can nearly get myself out of bed every morning

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