this post was submitted on 16 Oct 2024
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Science Memes

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[–] problematicPanther@lemmy.world 252 points 1 month ago (4 children)

This is what we're training LLMs on.

[–] N0body@lemmy.dbzer0.com 62 points 1 month ago (3 children)

"AI," what should I do about being constipated?

Painfully stretch your rectum to gaping in order to accommodate your constipation.

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (4 children)

That is called impaction removal, and I have done that to people for fun and profit.

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[–] ddplf@szmer.info 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hey Alexa, please examine my rectum

[–] desktop_user@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

good, it beats the incompetent assholes that just tell you not to do things when you ask them how to do them just because they are harmful.

[–] LazaroFilm@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Don’t tell people not to do things. It’s harmful.

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 11 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Thank god for that.

Imagine if LLM were made in Oxford in the 1950's.

It be trained on the fucking Iliad and Shakespeare.

[–] yogurtwrong@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thankfully it's being trained on some real intellectual discourse like your rectum getting stretched out by rock hard shit instead of that garbage

[–] Wanderer@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Thou art wise as thou art beautiful

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[–] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 150 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Reddit certainly did have it's moments, didn't it?

[–] Azuth@lemmy.today 76 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I'll always remember the kid who broke both his arms and his helpful mom.

[–] Kalkaline@leminal.space 44 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Was that because of the same reminders over and over, every other thread?

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[–] EvacuateSoul@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Or the cunnilingus jolly rancher

[–] BakerBagel@midwest.social 7 points 1 month ago

Between that and Colby, you have the full spectrum of Reddit sexual encounters.

[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I prefer putting whores before descartes.

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[–] itsnotits@lemmy.world 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Wiz@midwest.social 14 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 8 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Reddit was better when the community did actually enforce basic grammar.

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[–] Vilian@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago (4 children)

The Kevin history was wild

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[–] li10@feddit.uk 83 points 1 month ago (5 children)

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve had moments of pure despair as I feel like one’s gonna tear me in half.

A real porcelain shatterer.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 15 points 1 month ago (6 children)

I ended up occasionally chugging about half a liter of water before going, because this started happening.

That seems to actually do something very useful when I think I've not had enough water prior, but I don't actually know the details of how the body moves and uses that water. It intuitively feels like 2-3 minutes should be too short of a time-span to start doing useful work, but it still seems to work.

In general not using piddly little 0.2l glasses and instead keeping a large glass or bottle with me isn't just helpful, it's vitally important. I simply can't get by occasionally drinking small glasses of water. Other than the first day I'd resolve to start drinking more water again, I never went to fill them up enough times to actually get sufficient hydration for my size.

Additionally, I've learnt to feel my hydration on my lips, if they're dry I need a drink. But I am an unreliable, irrational actor. I don't always pay enough attention, or stay on top of things even if I notice, so I'm likely to resort to desperately chugging water again.

[–] Mothra@mander.xyz 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Chiming behind the lemming who said the water a few minutes prior going won't do anything. It certainly won't do absolutely anything no matter how much you drink. Once the bowel absorbs the water, adding more water to your body won't restore moisture to the stool.

What probably happened in your case is simply peristaltic movement, some people are more sensitive to it. So chugging a generous amount of water stimulates your gut tissues and encourages things to get moving along.

Going back to the water - of course if you stay hydrated and keep things hydrated it will help. But you cannot rehydrate a stool just by drinking.

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[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (7 children)

After holding in a shit for a couple hours yeah. Literally shitting bricks at that point.

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[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 69 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This lady claims to be an expert but doesn’t even mention the poop knife?!

[–] FearfulSalad@ttrpg.network 63 points 1 month ago (2 children)

The poop knife is irrelevant until and unless one plans to flush, which this question did not ask.

Also, why do you assume the nurse is a lady?

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 18 points 1 month ago

"gaping rectum" is distinctly ladylike, no?

[–] Poem_for_your_sprog@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why is every comment after this removed?

[–] FearfulSalad@ttrpg.network 22 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I think it turned into some amount of shit slinging that stopped being relevant to the shit at hand. I'm guessing mods decided to close that sphincter before the verbal diarrhea overflowed the rim of the post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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[–] spirinolas@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Somebody should write a small book about this. You could put it in the bathroom and read it while taking a shit.

[–] hactar42@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

For those of us that pooped before smart phones, there was a book series called Uncle John's Bathroom Reader. I could totally see them have a section dedicated to this.

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[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

"The Art of Defecation - How to turn your anatomy into a brown (f)art factory"

It could have an entire chapter just on fiber maxing:

https://i.imgur.com/zmtuVg1.png

Another could be on shit polishing with the mythbusters method.

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[–] PieMePlenty@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I once held a shit in for a week. Literally 7 days. I was in the hospital and forbidden from using the toilet and using the portable bag toilet in the room with 6 others was not gonna happen so I held it in. Nurses gave me laxatives because they were concerned but I beat them too.

After finally being allowed on the toilet, I basically filled the bowl to the top and clogged the toilet. Yes, it hurt. I now know why and I'm never doing it again.

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 10 points 1 month ago

My friend poops once a week. He claims he told his doctor and they said it's "on the edge of normal." It freaks me out though. I'd feel so bloated all the time.

[–] fossilesque@mander.xyz 8 points 1 month ago

Maybe that no poop challenge guy has tips for next time.

[–] doingthestuff@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

I think the question OP didn't want to ask was, "does all of this dick in my ass affect my poops?"

[–] BurningRiver@beehaw.org 16 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

the bowel is wider than your asshole

imagining a nurse using the word “asshole” to explain it to a regular person is just hilarious to me.

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[–] sweetpotato@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 month ago (3 children)

I never realized that this process is basically a biological cold extrusion.

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[–] VitabytesDev@feddit.nl 10 points 1 month ago

We have finally found The Forbidden Knowledge

[–] EffortlessEffluvium@lemm.ee 10 points 1 month ago

TIL my butthole is a PlayDo’h Fun Factory…

[–] No_Eponym@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago

Putting the Shit in ShittyLifeProTips.

[–] pruwybn@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 month ago

There's nothing about that paragraph I didn't like!

[–] Tarogar 8 points 1 month ago

Now that's one shit experiment to figure something specific out.

[–] medgremlin@midwest.social 7 points 1 month ago

I just finished my surgery rotation for medical school and I saw so many colonoscopies. I have seen the inside of dozens of people's colons and this is a pretty good explanation for what's going on. I could also tell which patients ate a lot of fruit or seeds because there would still be some residual seeds in there after the clean-out prep.

Pro tip: if you are going in for a colonoscopy, ask for the pill form of the prep. Most insurances cover it, it works better, and you don't have to drink the gallon of disgusting fluid.

Also! Colonoscopies are very important! They are the single best tool for detecting and preventing colon cancer. During the scope, if they find any polyps, they get removed and sent for evaluation to see if they are cancerous, pre-cancerous, or benign, and the polyps are basically the seeds of colon cancer. It is recommended to get your first colonoscopy at age 45, unless you have a family history of colon cancer, in which case you would get your first one 10 years younger than the age the family member was diagnosed, or age 45, whichever is younger.

There are the home tests like the cologuard, but that has a 45% false positive rate, and they're only good for 3 years while a colonoscopy is good for 10 years(*) if it comes back normal, so the cologuard ends up being more expensive in the long run. It also only detects the later, more advanced polyps that are more likely to be closer to being cancer, and if it comes back positive, you have to get a colonoscopy anyways. A lot of the false positives come from the fact that it tests for DNA associated with cancer mutations and for microscopic blood in the stool, and they don't tell you if it's positive because of the DNA or the blood, and you can have microscopic amounts of blood in your stool for tons of reasons.

TL;DR: Colonoscopies are very important, and MUCH better than the home test. Talk to your primary care provider about when you should start screening, and if you're over 45, go get scheduled for one now. Colon cancer is a horrible disease, and it's actually quite preventable and easy to catch in the early stages, if you get your colonoscopies on the recommended schedule.

*Addendum: If your colonoscopy detects certain kinds of polyps, or more than a certain number of polyps, you might be on a shorter interval for surveillance scopes to make sure they catch anything before it becomes cancer, and that interval can be anywhere from 3 to 7 years depending on what they found. Also, if you have a family history of colon or rectal cancer, you'll be on a 5 year schedule because you're higher risk.

[–] bluewing@lemm.ee 7 points 1 month ago (3 children)

God bless nurses explaining things in simple term a child can understand.

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[–] SunlitSorceress@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 month ago

That's nice, dear.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I felt that.

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