this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 135 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Classmate in 7th grade while warming up for gym class stretched easily that way. One kid made the offhand comment "Hey, you can suck your own dick!" and flexible kid immediately yelled "SHUT UP!". Which told us all he'd done it.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 49 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

For the curious, I did know someone who said they could do it. We didn't have long conversations about it or anything but he said all you need to know.

"It's more like sucking dick than getting your dick sucked."

[–] VeganCheesecake@lemmy.blahaj.zone 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Sounds like a win win. Maybe I should work on getting more flexible.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Hey, aim for the moon, if you miss you still hit the stars! Or something.

Just please, please take it slow and stretch a LOT and don't force it, you can seriously maim your back if you force it. There's probably some yoga exercises you can look up online.

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[–] SaharaMaleikuhm 13 points 2 weeks ago

I'm not jealous. You are!

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 13 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If I could suck my own dick, I wouldn't ever leave the house.

[–] And009@reddthat.com 2 points 2 weeks ago

Pairs well with a choking fetish

[–] nieceandtows@lemmy.world 82 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Anon messed up not removing a couple of ribs beforehand

[–] PunnyName@lemmy.world 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

He removed the ribs so he could eat them.

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I mean, it's all relative to the size of your steeple

[–] joelfromaus@aussie.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

So you’re saying I’d need to remove 4-5 ribs?

[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 6 points 2 weeks ago

You sound like you can't smell your own shit on your knees

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago (14 children)

I can't believe this old hoax is still being circulated. This goes back pre-internet as one of the first viral memes.

[–] mysteryname101@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Shhh. It reveals our age.

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[–] bamfic@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago
[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 29 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

Is that something other men want to do? Even my dog had no interest in it and he was easily flexible enough.

[–] basmati@lemmus.org 110 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You shouldn't get your dog to suck your dick, no matter how flexible the dog is.

Yeah, they can't make a vacuum due to their mouth shape, so it's just going to be sloppy with a large risk of puncture. Totally not worth it.

[–] Hydra_Fk@reddthat.com 25 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

They say it's more like sucking a dick vs getting a bj apparently.

[–] SaharaMaleikuhm 14 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds like a win-win in my book.

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Old_Fat_White_Guy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

A 50 50 will cost you about tree fiddy in these parts. So they say....

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 weeks ago

Yes. I know peeps and it’s apparently awesome.

[–] rovingnothing29@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I mean I heard a kid broke his neck trying back in the late 90s

[–] assassinatedbyCIA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Did you remove your dog’s balls though? That might have an effect.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago

I wasn't the one who did it, and it didn't keep him from licking other dogs...

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'd imagine that gay men, if any, might be interested. But no I think most guys don't want to taste their own dick.

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I wonder if that's actually the case. I imagine that if I had the body of a (hot) woman then I would be turned on by my own body. However, I haven't heard of gay people getting off while looking in the mirror...

Gay trans woman here. Queer people absolutely can get turned on by our own naked bodies. I have first hand experience.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 4 points 2 weeks ago

Let me present you gym bros. I also recall someone back in high school who said he masturbated looking at his own ass in the mirror.

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[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Suckin that dick at an egregerious angle

[–] SynopsisTantilize@lemm.ee 7 points 2 weeks ago

I cackled laughed in a Walmart just now. Can't explain that one lol

[–] Sendpicsofsandwiches@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This shit ain't nothing to me man

[–] EnderMB@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Pfft, sucking your own dick is amateur. Real men toss their own salad.

[–] Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 weeks ago

Sounds like a qualification for Cirque du Soleil.

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 13 points 2 weeks ago

Back, not neck.

... I'm told.

[–] HawlSera@lemm.ee 6 points 2 weeks ago

Wanna be hip? Gotta suck your own dick.

[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Dude probably thought he was a h0rs3 character.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 1 points 2 weeks ago
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