Ask Lemmy

Einstein said that if you move close to the speed of light, you'll go forward in time. Therefore, I thought, if you go backwards at close to the speed of light, you'll go backwards in time.

I was like 6 years old when my dad randomly told me that if a player dies during a football game, the others players have to eat him before the game can continue.

I never watched sports so I didn't even question it lol

I do not know where I got this from, but I thought all dogs were male and all cats were female. I thought this while I had a dog named Betsy and a cat named Sebastian.

If that's not bad enough on its own, I think I was in first or second grade when I learned the surprising truth. I wasn't a dumb kid, either. I learned to read when I was about 3.5 yrs old and started 1st grade as a 5 yr old.

I'm now in my 70s and I still can't figure out where I got that from!

You can accomplish anything if you put your mind to it and try hard enough.

I used to believe that if you just work hard you'll get ahead in life

I always thought cigarettes contain tar, as in the substance asphalt on the road is made from. It always felt weird to me, why would they put it in the cigarettes but I figured maybe they need it so the tobacco doesn't fall out or something.

That the Mormon god was totally real

Ass cheeks were shit tanks.

That god(s) exist(s).

Trees make wind because whenever there was wind, they moved.

Old people were always old

That my parents knew what they were doing, made good choices, and were reasonable people.

No, no, ... and no.

That I'd grow up to eat candy, collect baseball cards, play video games, and read comic books.

No (type II diabetes runs in my family), no (wtf is a baseball card anyway), no (video games were replaced with homework permanently), and — well, actually — yes.

I love a good comic book, graphic novel, and/or animated series.

That my family cared about me and supported me.

When I was six years old or so, my sister called me a "cosweb" and told me it was the worst thing ever. I completely believed her for a long time.

The crust on bread had more nutrients than the center. My dad didn’t want to cut my crusts off lol.

My uncle always swapped the words breast and best so my cousin mixes them up sometimes to this day. He said ‘breast friend’ at his brother’s wedding

That enough hot water bath could work just as well as sunbathing for getting a tan. Hey, both things can burn your skin, it's perfectly logical!

I thought that if you swallowed your gum, it would stay in your stomach forever, so you had to make sure to never do it because eventually there would be no room for food anymore.

Also, old CRT TVs had this static electricity sort of fuzzy feeling on the screen, and if you ran your hand over it, it would dissipate. I thought that by doing that, you were absorbing the TVs power and if you did it too much, it would eventually stop working.

Lastly, I believed with all my heart that all the pets you ever owned were waiting for you in heaven and it made me mad when my (very devout Catholic) grandma told me that pets and animals don't have souls and so they didn't go to heaven. I said if that was true then I didn't want to go to heaven! I'm atheist now, so I don't even believe that anyone goes to heaven, but if anyone deserves to go, it's all the kitties, puppies, and various rodentia I've loved in my life.