this post was submitted on 12 Sep 2024
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A former model who was a finalist in the Miss Switzerland contest was allegedly murdered and "pureed" in a blender by her husband, officials in Switzerland are reported to have said.

Kristina Joksimovic, 38, was found dead in her home in Binningen, near Basel, Switzerland, in February this year.

According to local news outlet BZ Basel, a man named Thomas, 41, had an appeal for release from custody denied by the Federal Court in Lausanne on Wednesday after he reportedly confessed to killing his wife, with whom he had two children.

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[–] Zombiepirate@lemmy.world 201 points 1 month ago (2 children)

BZ Basel also said Thomas was arrested the day after Ms Joksimovic's body was found, and initially told investigators he had found her dead and dismembered her body in their laundry room in panic.

Let those who have not dismembered a family member in a panic with a jigsaw and garden shears before dissolving their pulped body in a bath of acid throw the first stone.

[–] Plopp@lemmy.world 69 points 1 month ago (2 children)

When you put it like that... Maybe we shouldn't be so quick to judge.

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago (3 children)

It was self defense, after all, and one can never be too safe.

[–] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 month ago

Woman must have been an antideluvian vampire to require such extreme measures.

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[–] tiefling@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

There's a documentary on Hulu I highly recommend called The Jinx, about multimillionaire serial killer Robert Durst. One of my favorite lines from him is "I did not kill my best friend, but I did dismember him".

His family owns like half of NYC. Someone I know used to work directly under them and can confirm the batshit runs down the whole family tree.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

No spoilers, but the very end of that series is absolutely insane. Up there with "Icarus" or "An Honest Liar" as great documentaries that end up having a completely unpredictable twist that changes the trajectory of the film completely.

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 122 points 1 month ago (3 children)

That’s an episode of “Will It Blend?” I didn’t think we’d ever get in real life.

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You're terrible, even by my standards, which are impressively low

[–] paddirn@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

I like to treat every standard like a limbo bar and see how much lower I can go.

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[–] InvertedParallax@lemm.ee 99 points 1 month ago

A former model who was a finalist in the Miss Switzerland contest was allegedly murdered and “pureed” in a blender by her husband, officials in Switzerland are reported to have said.

That's, that's a brand new sentence.

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 61 points 1 month ago (2 children)

This is the most psychopathic thing I have seen in quite some time. wtf

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

Yeah I didn't need to read this headline as soon as I woke up

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[–] Sanctus@lemmy.world 60 points 1 month ago (6 children)

This story is wild to read, how do you purée someone and still find a body and determine they were strangled?

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago (8 children)

I mean, considering how some of them can struggle with ice cubes, you'd need one hell of a (consumer grade) blender to effectively get rid of a body

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[–] linearchaos@lemmy.world 21 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I suspect he vastly underestimated the scope of the job.

Shopkeeper: Oh, hello Thomas, back already? How was that blender? Not big enough you say? Well how big do you need? A whole large coconut you say?

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[–] thawed_caveman@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (4 children)

The article is unclear about which body parts were dismantled and blended, i assume he just did the arms and legs or something. Which leaves a lot of the body to be found and analyzed.

Basically, if i get this right, he was cutting the body in pieces and blending them one by one, which i assume must be a long process so no wonder he got caught. Honestly if i were to get rid of a body that would also be my plan in its entirety

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[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 58 points 1 month ago (2 children)

"the ruling from the court held Ms Joksimovic was strangled to death."

CSI Switzerland must be fucking wizards, man.

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[–] Erasmus@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Because what sane person, who upon walking into their home and finding a loved one unconscious (or even worse :dead:) doesn’t reach for their blender.

Amiright, guys??

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[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 46 points 1 month ago (3 children)

What brand was this blender? I would like to know, not because I have any former models that need blending, but because that thing must've been a tank

[–] variants@possumpat.io 19 points 1 month ago

I mean they found a body so I assume it wasn't that great

[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 9 points 1 month ago

The Swiss make some great precision machinery, I bet it was a Swiss brand.

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[–] WoahWoah@lemmy.world 40 points 1 month ago (1 children)

He did what with the what now!?

[–] spongeborgcubepants@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] catbum@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)
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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Because that would sure eliminate the DNA evidence...

A murderer and a moron.

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Redundant, 99.99% of murderers are complete morons.

[–] sudo@lemmy.today 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well clearly this guy was smoothie brained.

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I don't know about morons, but you have to be pretty ignorant to think you can get away with murdering your spouse these days.

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[–] Aarrodri@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Cephalotrocity@biglemmowski.win 25 points 1 month ago (4 children)

I have to go through the entire rest of the day having this in the back of my mind the whole time. GFD. 🫣

[–] HEXN3T@lemmy.blahaj.zone 23 points 1 month ago

What. The fuck.

[–] moon@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The start of the headline lured me in for the biggest WTF moment I've had in ages. I'll be sweating bullets the next time I see something about a former model/Miss-Wherever

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

People following the story of a former Olympic runner: First time?

[–] Cataphract@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 month ago (3 children)

My mind couldn't contemplate the title when I first read it. I thought this was some sort of AI art or deep fake "blender" program that he was selling nudes or vids of her that he had constructed.... the whole actual person being put into a blender just didn't even compute.

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[–] pH3ra@lemmy.ml 21 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

They quoted the word "pureed" which means there was butter and potato starch involved

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[–] Feathercrown@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

What the fuck bros

[–] Dremor@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago

Poor girl...

[–] chalupapocalypse@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] a_wild_mimic_appears@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I did not expect to read "Blender" and "Model" in this context ever.

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[–] gencha@lemm.ee 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And it was a hand blender even. Wow

[–] somebodysomewhere@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Wow is right. That man probably voided his warranty if he blended her feet.

[–] eran_morad@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

MBS gonna hire this guy

[–] FangedWyvern42@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Jesus fucking Christ.

[–] TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

What the actual fuck? No jail for this motherfucker, just throw him into a vulcano

[–] ramenshaman@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is human smoke. Don't breathe this.

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