Ask Lemmy

Curling, if we count Winter Olympics as well. Quite a few of the athletes look not nearly as athletic as in other disciplines, and I dare say I can whip up some vicious mopping.

I am equally unlikely to win against olympians in all olympic events.

Olympians are a lifestyle that starts from a young age in almost every case. They are generally poor/supported by their family. They usually don't do anything that is social in time or food constraints. I'm not saying they never have fun or do anything, but am saying their eating and sleep patterns generally come first. The 4 time Olympic velodrome racer I worked with in the bike shops, came to work looking like a tupperware salesman. He never ate full meals like most people. He nibbled on stuff all day long, just a bite here and there, and always healthy stuff he made. When we did group rides, he was enormous, but never showed off, sprinted, or pushed at all. He would tell you that it was not part of his schedule routine to do so. Track riders are the big guys. I'm the same build as him and I was intimidating in a kit back then, but I looked like batman standing next to the Hulk with him. He was awesome to work with, but really struggled with the desire to have a life and family against the absolute commitment of riding.

One of the fit coaches at the first bike shop I worked at used to say that the world cycling track record for the hour distance was accessible to beat. The record has been beat by someone with a higher average cadence than the previous person since something like the 1970's. That level of cycling is really all about pain and the mental battle. Targeting average cadence would yield a simple enough target to focus on even when your brain is at something like 2% functionality from blood oxygen deprivation. I'm an idiot in just a 30 minute crit when I'm at like 5% function. I can't imagine figuring out how circles work at 2%, but maybe someone else can.

None, you are competing with other humans.

If it is easy for you to compete, it is easy for them too.

And the olympics is the top of the top. So you will have the biggest competers all together.

That said, I've seen a lot of dad bods on Curling. That is more about precision than having perfectly toned muscles.

I have been shooting my whole life. I was on the rifle team and shot skeet and trap in high school and college so that would probably be the easiest. I would still need a shitload of practice but I bet I could do it if I had the time to shoot a few thousand rounds first. Rifles or shotguns that is, I can't shoot pistols to save my ass.

According to a documentary I once saw: bobsled in a Caribbean nation

I mean, I’m sure you could bribe your way into the Russian basketball team as a substitute that never plays

This person made it to the Olympics just by being persistent. I really wish more people like her competed to show how good the good people really are to compare a non freak of nature.

https://gearjunkie.com/winter/skiing/elizabeth-swaney-olympics-hungary-ski

Maybe equestrian racing. Buy an already trained horse and then it mostly knows what to do. And there’s like 50 plus competitors.

Its gotta be handball or field hockey. You don't have to be the best person, just among the best.

Is the luge still an Olympic sport? If so, I'd probably say that's the easiest to get into. I'm sure there's actually a lot of technique and nuance to it, but it really does look like you just kinda ride on a really dope sled.

Rowing cox. No athletic prowess or skill required. Only requirement is to be physically small and do a bit of coaching.

Rock, Paper, Scissors

Rugby Sevens most likely. The US Women's team had people on it who had never played rugby 4 years ago. Granted they had an (American) football background. Handball might be in there. It's gotta be a sport that isn't very popular.

I would tank any of them but have enough dance training that if I had to compete in 2028 I would train for ballroom dance. Nothing else. Then go and dance and lose. Like, that's the event I am closest to being able to do and still a million miles away from being competitive in it.

In terms of skill set of average person? It would probably be easiest to lose the 100m dash because you could jog it.

Drunk darts.

Can't hit a bullseye sober; can't miss it boozed.

Procrastination.

Olympic pushmowing on uneven terrain with lots of rocks and roots where it's not regular grass but super wet stuff that never dries, viney things that bind up the mower, and weird plants I can't identify (or maybe some kind of lichen sort of thing?). I definitely spend enough time practicing it. Can't wait to shade a lot out with the orchard I'm planting and replace others with better (largely edible) plants and better ground cover.

Boxing I think could be one of the easiest. Only problem being you will get punched in the face.

Masturbation

I don't follow the olympics but if they do competitive masturbation then definitely that.

Any sport in the Athletics category