this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 37 comments
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[–] superduperpirate@lemmy.world 61 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I totally didn’t see this somewhere and start writing it on the walls in middle school:

Those who write on shithouse walls

Roll their turds into little balls

Those who read these words of wit

Eat those little balls of shit

[–] fluxion@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have some questions about the events being described here, but I think its best not to ask.

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 21 points 1 month ago

Too late, turd eater

[–] ceenote@lemmy.world 44 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

I heard it as

"In days of old,

When knights were bold

And condoms weren't invented,

They put their socks upon their cocks

And babies were prevented."

[–] realitista@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Yeah that's the one I know, though I think it sounds nicer with the wording I know:

"A sock was placed upon the cock, And babies were prevented"

[–] demizerone@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

The knights of old beat off into socks.

[–] AFreeLarryHoover@lemmy.world 42 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Not enough doodle cocks & swastikas.

[–] Pantsofmagic@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And that mobius strip style "S" thing

[–] GBU_28@lemm.ee 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's called the cool S. Be respectful

[–] bobs_monkey@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago
[–] poplargrove@lemmy.world 34 points 1 month ago
[–] OopsAllTwix@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 1 month ago (1 children)

From a porta potty: Here I sit Tired and dirty Trying to hide Until 4:30

[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 10 points 1 month ago

Yea this one got a genuine laugh out of me. Poor soul.

[–] nailbar@sopuli.xyz 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Here's some toilet poetry I read once:

Some come here too sit, think, and write on the walls. I come here too shit, stink, and scratch my hairy balls.

[–] froh42@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Wie Adolf Hitler throne ich hier, die braune Masse unter mir.

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 23 points 1 month ago

public unisex bathroom: "our butts have touched <3"

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago
[–] Num10ck@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

i used to fold a paper towel into a kind of bubble box and get it wet. then i'd throw it hard onto the ceiling where it would stick for about a minute. then i would wait for it to fall on someone coming in and i'd giggle for decades about it.

[–] thesporkeffect@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Here I sit, all broken-hearted

[–] nilaus@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Thought I'd shit, but only farted

[–] dafungusamongus@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Tried to shit, but only farted

[–] kmartburrito@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Then one day I took the chance

[–] superkret 4 points 1 month ago

Tried to piss, but my ass parted

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Paid a penny, but only farted

[–] itsgroundhogdayagain@lemmy.ml 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

..and the Shithouse Poet strikes again!

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

..and the ~~Shithouse~~ Latrine Poet strikes again!

They changed their name to "Latrine". Sometime in the 9th century I believe.

[–] deadbeef79000@lemmy.nz 2 points 1 month ago

It's a good change!

[–] rotkehle 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

in Germany it's the other way around.

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

…the road lays a load upon you?

[–] superkret 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Wie der Führer sitz ich hier
Die braunen Massen unter mir

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 6 points 1 month ago (2 children)

In diesem Klo da wohnt ein Geist, der jedem in die Eier beißt.

Mich hat er nicht gebissen, ich hab ihm auf den Kopf geschissen.

[–] superkret 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ich kenne das mit "In diesem Klo, da wohnt ein Geist, der jedem, der zu lange scheißt, von unten in die Eier beißt."

[–] froh42@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Am unteren Ende der Klowand, dort wo sie zum Durchwischen aufgeständert ist:

Vorsicht vor dem Limbotänzer!

[–] Rolive@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 month ago

We have a variant in Dutch.

In de pot zit een geit die graag in je kont bijt

Mij heeft hij niet gebeten want ik had op zijn kop gescheten.

[–] rickyrigatoni@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

This is estonia, speak estonian please.

[–] nifty@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It’s the same person, they wrote on both walls

[–] mPony@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

THE CALL IS COMING FROM INSIDE THE SHITTER!!!