superduperpirate

Sounds like I’d pass out from the pain if I tried anything like this.

…

I had weird friends in college, which was appropriate since I was (and still am) pretty weird myself. One such friend, who was heavily into body piercing & body modification (talked regularly about wanting to split his tongue) took it upon himself to warp my fragile little mind by showing me unsolicited pictures of sounding. When I recoiled in horror and shut my eyes, he then proceeded to tell me of cock & ball torture enthusiasts who supposedly stick a sounding rod in their urethra and then hit their dicks with a hammer. He was a little too excited when describing this to me, which makes me wonder if he ever tried it himself.

Not sure if stupid is the word I’d use, but we tend not to pick up on subtlety very well.

Paraphrasing from memory a comment I saw in a similar thread on a different site:

• What’s subtle to you is entirely invisible to him
• What’s obvious to you is still mostly invisible to him
• What’s embarrassingly obvious to you is just starting to become subtle and therefore potentially noticeable to him

We don’t have nearly as much practice on picking up subtlety, and many of us are well aware of the potential blowback of perceiving interest and acting on it (“ew gross i’m just being nice you creep”).

We aren’t mind readers. Frankly, if I was a mindreader, I wouldn’t be hanging out on Lemmy. I’d be hanging out in the casino at the poker tables.

When his height starts with 5

When her weight starts with 200

Wtf why are you fat shaming me?

Why are you height shaming me? You could always lose some weight, but I can’t grow another six inches

Unless there is evidence to the contrary, one should generally assume these things are creative writing exercises.

Out of tacos

For those who were out of the loop like me:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Imane_Khelif

There are two things in this world I can’t stand: people who are intolerant of other people’s cultures, and the Dutch.

• Nigel Powers

We have a turkish van cat. He’s very loving and affectionate, and isn’t just the noisiest cat I’ve ever met, he’s noisier than every other cat I’ve ever had combined. My favorite thing is when I walk in the front door, I’ll hear a thud as he jumps down from wherever he was napping, then he sprints toward me while meowing the whole way, and ask for all the pets I can possibly give him. Naturally, I’m happy to oblige him.

I’m a little surprised Turkey came in at only 14%

I totally didn’t see this somewhere and start writing it on the walls in middle school:

Those who write on shithouse walls

Roll their turds into little balls

Those who read these words of wit

Eat those little balls of shit

Erm, would someone mind explaining the joke for those of us who don’t read music?

I stuck my dick in crazy.

Life pro tip: don’t stick your dick in crazy. Just avoid crazy altogether.

In my defense, I was 20, she was the first person I ever had sex with, and I was too horribly depressed to recognize what a bad idea it was.