this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2024
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And Finally...

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29-year-old Daisy Link was being held at the Turner Guilford Knight Correctional Center in Miami-Dade County, Florida, when she met 24-year-old Joan Depaz, initially contacting him through the vents in their prison cells, according to WSVN7.

"You would knock on it and you can hear the people from the different floors. You would stand on the toilet actually to be able to talk to them," said Link. "Being in isolation for so long you begin to spend hours and hours talking to this person, you know, to the point where it's almost as if you're in the same room with them."

...

After Link and Depaz began a romantic relationship, Depaz shared his ambitions to have a child with Link, according to WSVN 7News.

"I always really wanted to have a baby. And I'm not gonna get to do that for a really long time," said Depaz, recounting what he told Link. "So if I had to choose somebody, you know, it would be you. And she was like, 'Yeah, we could do that.'"

Depaz and Link then hatched a plan to create a direct line between each other's cells using bedding. Once they had established this, Depaz began sending Link his own semen wrapped in saran wrap.

...

"I put the semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight" he continued.

Link described receiving the packages, which were rolled up "almost like a cigarette", administering them to herself using yeast infection applicators.

After a couple of attempts, Link became pregnant with "a miracle baby", conceiving "like the Virgin Mary," according to Depaz.

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[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

This reminded me of a story in "Archipelago Gulag." Bear in mind, some gulags were absolutely vast.
So at least in this particular gulag, women and men had separate dormitories, but men often visited the ladies' huts and openly got it on, resulting in a lot of pregnancies. Pregnant women didn't need to work and after their 2nd (3rd?) child, they were discharged and could go home.
The guards finally managed to keep the intruders out, but now, men and women just met after work, out in the open. Guards put up barbed wire to gender-separate the areas. Pregnancies surged even harder. How so? You see, the wire did not touch the ground in all places. So the men got down under the wire, on their backs. The women squatted down, and...
The guards then put up a solid fence, but good jumpers/ climbers could get over it, so... pregnancies, still. Finally, they made the fence so tall that the baby-making stopped... almost entirely.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 11 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

Who wants to take the odds on this actually being a guard's kid after the DNA test is done?

[–] humble_pete_digger@lemm.ee 2 points 2 hours ago

They are accused murderers. Meaning they won't likely getting out till old AF and never going to be able to have kids.

There is very good chance they did this for that reason.

[–] x00z@lemmy.world 6 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Getting a child in prison.

What could go wrong?

[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

You know what? With those people I think it’s better that they did it in prison.

[–] Marthirial@lemmy.world 3 points 7 hours ago

Mommy, where do babies come from? The Stork, love, you, the pipes.

[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 30 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

And they say romance is dead

[–] humble_pete_digger@lemm.ee 1 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

They might be in there for a long time, no conjugal allowed. It's possible when they get out - they won't be able to have kids, so they did this.

Us prison system is a brutal dehumanizing place

[–] chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz 11 points 18 hours ago

"Potion seller, I need your strongest potions."

[–] SleafordMod@feddit.uk 102 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)
[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 8 points 19 hours ago

Not like this Jurassic Park Scientist man. 😭

Not like this.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 111 points 1 day ago

Who says romance is dead?

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 28 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So that's how God did it, huh?

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 15 points 22 hours ago

The Bible hand-waves away some steps, but pretty much.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 40 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.

[–] TheSlad@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Still a better love story than Twilight?

[–] southsamurai@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 day ago

Absolutely. If nothing else, I'm not hoping everyone involved dies at the end, which is a massive change from twilight

[–] Zip2@feddit.uk 40 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

The Shaw-wank Redemption?

Edit: Or Sore-shaft Redemption.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

I was coming on here to post: Sure-wank Impregnation but Frankensteining the two gets us:

The Sore-wank Impregnation

[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 4 points 20 hours ago

"Every day like five times a day for like a month straight"

[–] celeste@kbin.earth 24 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 2 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

The whole "Don't stick your dick in crazy" is this woman in a nutshell.

[–] celeste@kbin.earth 9 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I think the both of them are on equal footing in this case. Poor kid. I hope this is all just a coverup for a guard who helped them meet.

[–] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Or the guard is the father.

[–] celeste@kbin.earth 2 points 3 hours ago

That's an even more depressing possibility, but pretty likely.

[–] essteeyou@lemmy.world 50 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

5 times a day for a month!?

Where's he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?

[–] misterdoctor@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I got the sense that he was stockpiling his…product, and then shipping it over the border once he had accumulated enough for a proper insemination attempt. I hate everything about what I just typed.

[–] FooBarrington@lemmy.world 1 points 8 hours ago

So basically a reverse pony jar?

[–] phdepressed@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 day ago

Considering that sperm die pretty fast outside the body it's more likely it was "fresh".

[–] felykiosa@sh.itjust.works 14 points 1 day ago

I hate everything that I have read

[–] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 32 points 1 day ago

Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don't remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.

[–] dotslashme@infosec.pub 43 points 1 day ago

That headline just got wilder with every word

[–] BedSharkPal@lemmy.ca 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I read that as Satan-wrapped and I had questions. Then I read it correctly... still many questions.

[–] Emperor@feddit.uk 7 points 22 hours ago

It's questions all the way down.

[–] fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk 26 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

To save any other Britons having to search it, "Saran Wrap" is American for "Cling Film".

[–] I_Miss_Daniel@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

And for the Australians, Glad Wrap.

[–] socsa@piefed.social 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Honestly we mostly call it cling film too

[–] janNatan@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"Plastic wrap" is the most common term in my area.

[–] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 16 points 23 hours ago

We call it "sperm saver".

[–] gramie@lemmy.ca 17 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I don't know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don't get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don't get into trouble either.

[–] ChapulinColorado@lemmy.world 1 points 3 hours ago

Or a guard trying to hide it like some people said on other comments.

[–] MushuChupacabra@lemmy.world 23 points 1 day ago

Life uh, finds a way.

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 day ago

"Did you love mommy a lot-alot?!"

Son

hand on your shoulder

It's like this...

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 day ago

Hopefully these two never meet in person because their relationship would suddenly end very quickly.

That poor kid that gets born from this relationship though ..... "Hey! are you that guy/gal that got born from the prison Virgin Mary? I heard of that story years ago on the internet!"

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