This reminded me of a story in "Archipelago Gulag." Bear in mind, some gulags were absolutely vast.
So at least in this particular gulag, women and men had separate dormitories, but men often visited the ladies' huts and openly got it on, resulting in a lot of pregnancies. Pregnant women didn't need to work and after their 2nd (3rd?) child, they were discharged and could go home.
The guards finally managed to keep the intruders out, but now, men and women just met after work, out in the open. Guards put up barbed wire to gender-separate the areas. Pregnancies surged even harder. How so? You see, the wire did not touch the ground in all places. So the men got down under the wire, on their backs. The women squatted down, and...
The guards then put up a solid fence, but good jumpers/ climbers could get over it, so... pregnancies, still. Finally, they made the fence so tall that the baby-making stopped... almost entirely.
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Who wants to take the odds on this actually being a guard's kid after the DNA test is done?
They are accused murderers. Meaning they won't likely getting out till old AF and never going to be able to have kids.
There is very good chance they did this for that reason.
Getting a child in prison.
What could go wrong?
You know what? With those people I think it’s better that they did it in prison.
Mommy, where do babies come from? The Stork, love, you, the pipes.
And they say romance is dead
They might be in there for a long time, no conjugal allowed. It's possible when they get out - they won't be able to have kids, so they did this.
Us prison system is a brutal dehumanizing place
"Potion seller, I need your strongest potions."
Not like this Jurassic Park Scientist man. 😭
Not like this.
Who says romance is dead?
So that's how God did it, huh?
The Bible hand-waves away some steps, but pretty much.
Anyone can be a father. But it takes semen in Saran Wrap every day like five times a day for like a month straight to be a dad.
Still a better love story than Twilight?
Absolutely. If nothing else, I'm not hoping everyone involved dies at the end, which is a massive change from twilight
The Shaw-wank Redemption?
Edit: Or Sore-shaft Redemption.
I was coming on here to post: Sure-wank Impregnation but Frankensteining the two gets us:
The Sore-wank Impregnation
"Every day like five times a day for like a month straight"
It's the tokophobia talking, but I do find it fascinating how much people can want to be pregnant.
The whole "Don't stick your dick in crazy" is this woman in a nutshell.
I think the both of them are on equal footing in this case. Poor kid. I hope this is all just a coverup for a guard who helped them meet.
Or the guard is the father.
That's an even more depressing possibility, but pretty likely.
5 times a day for a month!?
Where's he getting that much Saran wrap in jail?
I got the sense that he was stockpiling his…product, and then shipping it over the border once he had accumulated enough for a proper insemination attempt. I hate everything about what I just typed.
So basically a reverse pony jar?
Considering that sperm die pretty fast outside the body it's more likely it was "fresh".
I hate everything that I have read
Huh, I need to re-read the Gospels, I don't remember the part about Mary stuffing semen she got from the HVAC vents into her cooter. God indeed works in mysterious ways.
That headline just got wilder with every word
I read that as Satan-wrapped and I had questions. Then I read it correctly... still many questions.
It's questions all the way down.
To save any other Britons having to search it, "Saran Wrap" is American for "Cling Film".
And for the Australians, Glad Wrap.
Honestly we mostly call it cling film too
"Plastic wrap" is the most common term in my area.
We call it "sperm saver".
I don't know, I am more inclined to believe that they found a way to meet up and have sex, but they are trying to hide that so they don't get into trouble. Maybe the facility is going along with it, so they don't get into trouble either.
Or a guard trying to hide it like some people said on other comments.
Life uh, finds a way.
"Did you love mommy a lot-alot?!"
Son
hand on your shoulder
It's like this...
Hopefully these two never meet in person because their relationship would suddenly end very quickly.
That poor kid that gets born from this relationship though ..... "Hey! are you that guy/gal that got born from the prison Virgin Mary? I heard of that story years ago on the internet!"
Congrats on taking on child support payments from your fucking jail cell, m'dude.
OK. I read this and know that I just didn't die soon enough