this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
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[–] JE2SJWMKLS@lemm.ee 105 points 4 days ago (4 children)

The gun is on the correct side of the plate for a right hand shooter, but should be laying on it's left side so that it can be picked up from above with the right hand.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 69 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Remove the /s, you are right and the commenter was ignorant of traditional American etiquette.

[–] JE2SJWMKLS@lemm.ee 18 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Can't I be both right and sarcastic?

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 13 points 4 days ago

The best kind of sarcasm is right.

[–] Fubarberry@sopuli.xyz 25 points 4 days ago (2 children)

No, left side is correct for the breakfast gun.

A gun that size isn't actually big enough for situations where you need a gun, it's just meant to provide cover fire while you get a bigger better gun. You'll be using your left hand to fire the cover gun, so that your right hand is available for picking up the bigger gun. This has the additional benefit of leaving your dominant hand free to eat with.

[–] classic@fedia.io 6 points 3 days ago

The correct answer, as they say, is always in the comments

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[–] grue@lemmy.world 76 points 4 days ago (7 children)

This picture is distinctly lacking in ultraprocessed sugary cereal and/or shelf-stable pastries.

[–] lettruthout@lemmy.world 31 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Yeah, plus the cholesterol medication. Bonus points if the mobility chair is within sight.

[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 18 points 4 days ago

They're American. They can't afford cholesterol medication.

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[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 67 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (7 children)

One egg!? I'm sorry is this the USSR?

[–] MintyAnt@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago (1 children)

On its own single egg plate. So fancy

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 11 points 4 days ago

A real American would put the multiple eggs on top of the bacon

[–] uis@lemm.ee 11 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Close, but no, this is USSA. You missed by 4 kilometers.

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[–] PlainSimpleGarak@lemm.ee 3 points 3 days ago

AuthLeft: be fortunate you get the one egg

[–] themeatbridge@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

No, this is clearly someone originally from Quebec. Because there, one egg is un ouef.

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[–] beefbot@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 days ago

Wtf is BREAD doing there?! You don’t have VEGETABLES at BREAKFAST this is AMERICA

[–] riskey@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] Venator@lemmy.nz 13 points 3 days ago

That's probably second breakfast.

[–] Freefall@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Ok, first off....I usually have two eggs.

Second, it is with my Sig p365

So...checkmate!

[–] TheLowestStone@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago

Also, there's only one starch. We have potatoes with our toast.

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[–] constantokra@lemmy.one 33 points 4 days ago (19 children)

There's not nearly enough butter on that toast, not enough eggs, and where's the sausage? In Florida the breakfast gun goes on the dominant side with the grip out. Once alcohol is served the slide will be locked back. In particularly liberal circles the magazines will also be popped out. We aren't savages.

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[–] InternetUser2012@midwest.social 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

False. Gun too small, and no ammo on the table.

EDIT: And no cheap shit beer? This is nonsense.

[–] I_Fart_Glitter@lemmy.world 33 points 4 days ago (1 children)

It used to be, but at this point in history, that's like $300 worth of bacon.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 11 points 4 days ago (1 children)

From experience that is about $20-30.

[–] modifier@lemmy.ca 19 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Only one way to resolve this dispute: gentlemen, to your respective breakfast guns.

[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

Ok, but can't we just cook $300 worth of bacon and find out who is right and have enough bacon to stop my heart instead?

[–] spizzat2@lemm.ee 22 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Fork goes on the left; each has four letters.

Spoon and knife go on the right; each has five letters.

Gun goes... on top?

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 15 points 3 days ago

Gun goes on hip so that you don't need to train on drawing while eating breakfast separately from training on drawing while doing anything else while sitting.

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[–] Quill0@lemmy.digitalfall.net 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

No cheese

No sausages

No ketchup

[–] FlaminGoku@reddthat.com 4 points 3 days ago

Looks like the UK viewpoint.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 27 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (12 children)

The Breakfast Gun goes on whichever side the diner's firing hand is.

Edits below!

After some discussion and reflection, I agree with @Zachariah@lemmy.world that the Breakfast Gun would indeed go on the left, "to show you plan for a peaceful meal."

Furthermore, presentation of Firearms depends on the level of dining:

At a polite table, guests are expected to lay their Meal Arms down holstered, so as not to soil the table linens. Placing a Meal Arm directly on the tablecloth is a sign of disrespect.

At a formal table, a Firearm Napkin will be provided for each diner. This allows diners to display their Meal Arms openly without soiling the linens.

At a "high table," Meal Arms will be provided by the host. These Arms, while fully functional, are adorned with many engravings and flourishes, as a demonstration of the host's status, and the diner's status as a guest at the table.

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[–] cm0002@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Wait … I worry what you heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs. ' What I said was, give me all the bacon and eggs you have ~ Ron Swanson

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[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Everything should be coated in maple syrup too.

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Close. I keep a little league aluminum baseball bat handy for those rude individuals that like to interrupt my peaceful breakfast.

[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 days ago

This is why I have a suppressor on my breakfast gun

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[–] dream_weasel@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Uh... Why is there only one egg?

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

It's a light breakfast. It'd be a skillet if it was a full breakfast, with a stack of pancakes if it was a Sunday.

[–] uienia@lemmy.world 8 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I just imagine they eat a huge bowl of that candy which they xall cereal.

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[–] chemicalwonka@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Where is the fucking cheese and Coca Cola?

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[–] Nobody@lemmy.world 17 points 4 days ago

At the conclusion of a satisfying meal, Americans are expected to fire their Breakfast Guns into the air in the parking lot. It's considered courteous, and it signals to others where a good breakfast can be found.

[–] andrew_bidlaw@sh.itjust.works 15 points 4 days ago (2 children)

That's the ceremonical gun, the actual one is under the belt pointing at the owner's testicles.

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[–] FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io 14 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (5 children)

It goes on whichever side your dominant hand is. Also, in the picture it's flipped the wrong way: Handle goes out so you can pick it up easily for when you need to dispense freedom seeds.

Also^2, the coffee should be black.

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[–] normalexit@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Needs pancakes instead of toast, and the egg.. just no.

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