this post was submitted on 03 Jul 2024
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You have 3 wishes (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by EfreetSK@lemmy.world to c/comicstrips@lemmy.world
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[–] De_Narm@lemmy.world 247 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Doesn't work, since they are fulfilled sequentially.

Do the opposite of my next wish. -> Fulfilled, he is set to do the opposite next.

Don't fulfill my 3rd wish. -> Fulfilled, the wish does effectively nothing and he's got one left that will be fulfilled. All instructions from the first wish are done with and discarded.

Ignore my first wish. -> Fulfilled, there is nothing left to be ignored about his first wish anymore since it's already done. The wish does nothing and he successfully wasted all 3 by trying to be a smart ass.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 41 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wonder if genies are subject to numerical integer underflow.

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago

They can be. If you wish for it.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 25 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Also if the genie is a thinking agent or even just capable of detecting an infinite loop this falls apart.

[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 13 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Imagine trying to ward off a genie by yelling: "THIS STATEMENT IS FALSE!"

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 3 points 1 month ago

POV you're about to encounter a little ol' Fate Worse Than Death

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[–] veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

You are now stuck in an infinite loop with a rabbit and turtle.

[–] nonfuinoncuro@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

I am a strange loop

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[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Yup, the genie just did that last bit to make him feel like he actually outsmarted him or something. In reality he's just glad he doesn't have to be around him any more.

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[–] Asifall@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

I feel like this guy plays mtg

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[–] roguetrick@lemmy.world 61 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

First rule: don't fuck with djinn, hags, or fae. Demons maybe, at least you know what they want.

[–] Illuminostro@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Your sweet, sweet balloon knot. Forever, taking that hot demon gel. Ask Kage.

[–] crusty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Bgugi@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Trust me kage, it's the only way!

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[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 9 points 1 month ago

When the demon tries to trip you up by asking for tea and cookies to be left out at night:

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 58 points 1 month ago (3 children)

You could have had fame, riches or beauty but instead you chose to be a dick.

[–] NABDad@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Do you think I asked for a 10 inch pianist?

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My smartass genie response would be to summon a severed 10 inch penis in their hands.

[–] TurtleTourParty@midwest.social 4 points 1 month ago

I would send them a jar from an animal in the Icelandic Phallological Museum. They never specified the species.

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[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Gratz, you played yourself and get no wishes.

[–] don@lemm.ee 2 points 1 month ago

maybe the real you played yourself was the wishes they made along the way

[–] Lightor@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago

Then on the third wish he just says "nah, that won't work" and you've just burned 2 and confused yourself.

[–] I_Has_A_Hat@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Again, from the last time this was reposted, none of these are wishes.

[–] rbn@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why not? If I wish that someone ignores something, that's a valid wish IMO.

[–] CileTheSane@lemmy.ca 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Because they never say "wish", they just issue commands.

[–] rbn@sopuli.xyz 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I dunno. If he told the djinn 'Give me a nice car' or 'Make Trump eat a pile of dog poop' in response to the offering of 3 wishes, that qualifies as a wish to me even though it doesn't contain the word.

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[–] Lightrider@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Those aren't wishes, just commands.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Ever heard of "your wish is my command?"

[–] Lightrider@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Yeah... That presumes you made a wish and not a command.

[–] Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is also assuming the Genie isn't a spiteful PoS that will just kill the Asker. There's no rule against that.

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Yeah, genies typically aren't in the wish-granting business. The only reason why people associate genies with wish-granting is because of the story of Aladdin.

[–] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

And yet... Monkey paw curls

[–] MacNCheezus@lemmy.today 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That oughta teach him a lesson

[–] LesserAbe@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

How dare he try to grant my wishes

[–] FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today 12 points 1 month ago

Even if any of the three wishes are deemed valid or invalid the net result will be nothing happens, no?

[–] key@lemmy.keychat.org 11 points 1 month ago

Wish 1 cancels out wish 2, leaving us with the default state of granting the third wish. The genie grants the third wish by biting his tongue and ignoring how stupid the first wish was.

[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 month ago

Genies hate computer software developers

[–] HeapOfDogs@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Does everyone not understand this yet? The only winning move with a genie is to not play.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 19 points 1 month ago

Wrong, and geniephobic.

[–] then_three_more@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)
  1. I wish to know the true name of the genie who is granting me wishes.

  2. I wish [genie's true name] to be freed, mortal and without magical powers, now and henceforth.

[–] HeapOfDogs@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

You are now trapped in a bottle.

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I think I saw a video once explaining how the only winning move is to make your wish be to let the genie grant you what you desire most.

Because only the genie as the wish granter has access to all possibilities a wish good grant, but you don't, so your wish could always be misinterpreted, while the genies knowledge cannot be.

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[–] unreachable@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] LesserAbe@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Wish one, genie give me a copy of your private key for the wish granting API

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[–] phoenixz@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago

I liked the one from that classic twilight zone episode better wherte the (i believe mathematician) told the genie to "get lost"

[–] MustaSpiraali@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 month ago

Genies hate this one trick.

[–] palordrolap@kbin.run 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There's often a rule about not wishing about wishing, either directly or indirectly. This rule's not in the story of Aladdin (at least, not Disney's version) because that would prevent what happens with Jafar at the end.

It's also not a rule in Douglas Hofstadter's book Gödel, Escher, Bach..., where Achilles and the Tortoise - characters Hofstadter frequently borrows as protagonists; his Tortoise is sapient and can talk - contrive to wish that a wish not be granted, or something like that.

And if that last paragraph (with its nested asides) gave you a headache, you'll love the book.

[–] Ultraviolet@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

The Genie does say "and ixnay on the wishing for more wishes" after listing the three main rules.

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