If I was buying mystery boxes of mystery shit on the deep web and ended up with a box of girl scout cookies I wouldn't even be mad.
this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
682 points (98.2% liked)
Greentext
4460 readers
1205 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
That's the genius of it. Oh, my box is Thin Mints? Cool! Especially when you have had a few days to think of all the worse things it could have been.
Are girl scout cookies always the same or does it depend on where they come from? I've seen them in just about every American sitcom/animated sitcom ever and I'm just curious if they are a specific brand or something else?
They're all the same.
"Girl Scout Cookies" is a brand of its own. They're mostly pretty good too. I'm a samoa guy, when I can be talked into spending way too much on cookies where the actual local scouts don't really see enough of the funding from the sales.
I'm not a fan of the organization. The cookies though, they're legit.
Small correction, only discovered when I moved across the country: there are two factories producing Girl Scout Cookies -- and the recipes have overlap, but each production company has a few unique ones. So sometimes I have to order from my niece rather than my neighbor.
Some of them are the same everywhere, though.
That's why in some areas Samoas are called Caramel Delights. IIRC, they use extremely slightly different recipes, and there is some sort of licensing agreement between the two.
All I know is that as a Cub/Boy Scout, I loathed Girl Scout Cookie season, because it overlapped with Boy Scout Popcorn season. It took me years to figure out that the way to sell the stuff was to completely ignore the product, and sell the idea of "keeping young boys from inventing their own entertainment."
I did not know that! Thanks for the info :)
So it’s just a MLM scheme?
Yeah but the real ingenuity is in the child labor
Always has been.
Teaches girls to be entrepreneurs so they can grow up and sell Tupperware or Pampered Chef or whatever bullshit is getting hocked about these days.
Yup, though not really multi in the true sense, but that's essentialy how it works. It's pretty shitty
Single level marketing?
Yup lol
Thanks for the answer. The need for something on such a huge scale just for girls scouts seems crazy to me! But your country is on a huge scale I suppose.
There are two manufacturers of Girl Scout cookies in the US. They're roughly a West and East manufacturer. Their cookies taste subtly different--unless you have sensory integration disorder like my sister and have tasted the difference her whole life and then deep dived into it in her early 20s and felt very vindicated when she found out there were two distributors and no she wasn't crazy that whole time and just tasted that almost impossible to detect difference.
What flavor we talkin here?
Mystery flavor obviously.
What could possibly go wrong?
Hrm let's roll those dice
20
Everything is coming up Tagalongs.
Better than nothing but Trefoils
Mystery flavor obviously.
This Man Fucked
Yes
If this was real I'd be interested in the details. Did anon accept fiat or crypto? Were the boxes advertised mainly on the darknet itself? Or clearnet, and if clearnet how did they get users that know wtf an onion link is or how to use it? Were the police alerted by an irate customer calling the police near the return address, or were the cops buying the cookies as a sting operation?
circle honey jerk pot.
almost beats gun buy backs used for 3d printed money
Yes! All of that.
Probably not true at all....
Nobody just gives away $200, and buying a "mystery box" from an anonymous stranger is the same thing.
Plenty of people do though. When you're advertising a mystery box for $200, the average person won't be interested, but there are plenty of whales who just have to know what's in it.
Perhaps "nobody" is slight exaggeration. But I guarantee that more people would buy Girl Scout cookies for $5 than a mystery box for $200.
Sure. But OP doesn't care about absolute numbers, they just want to sell a dozen or two.
Cops secretly love it when you prove that you've not broken the law. They will test you by contradicting you, but you just gotta raise your voice and gesticulate wildly, and they will come around to your way of thinking. The longer you argue your point, the more they will respect you
Note: This only works if you're white.
"I'm sorry officer. I... Didn't know I couldn't do that."
Make sure to work in case law and constitutional amendments, cops are actually legal scholars are really like discussing the minutia of judicial opinions.
Bonus points for incorporating that you're a sovereign citizen.
I don't know how people mess around on the dark web. I used Tor to bounce around onion sites back in ~2011 and learned my lesson. I haven't been back on since. Eff that. First of all, way too slow and finding sites is a pain. But even when I did find sites, it was too dangerous and creepy. I rather not even know what's on there. I can get obsessed with how shitty humanity is.
Unfortunately, it's currently the most reliable way to get LSD and MDMA..... :'(
Never though I would miss my shady AF dealer from the '90s and '00s
Seeing the extremely affordable insulin for sale on a dark web marketplace was my biggest takeaway from my quick poking around. That on its own should be incredibly damning
So long as you're tech-savvy it's not hard at all to make a safe, secure purchase (or so I've heard).
Apparently the German cyber police have replaced enough peers to now be able to identify clients
Ehhhh, mental outlaw made a video on just that topic a few hours ago.
TLDW: people didn't update packages for illegal tings, glowys rolled up.
Yup. My takeaway from that video is:
- Don't do illegal stuff
- If you do illegal stuff, don't get chatty about it
The more packets they have to work with, the more likely they can track you down.
So if you're going to buy illegal stuff, make sure the website is as simple as possible (so less packets flying around for things like images) and keep the transaction short.
So ... don't deliver to Germany?
I would've sent nothing and kept the boxes
But that would have made it illegal. You at least need to deliver.
Contents: flavoured air, hopes and dreams
Go online
Post advertisement for obvious scam
Get no sales
ThinkingFace.jpg
Spend more money on advertising
Get a few tiny nibbles at my scam
ThinkingHarderFace.jpg
Spend enormous amounts of money on advertising
Finally, some traction. Approaching break-even point. I can see the light of day on the horizon. Perhaps I can turn a profit in another few months.
Look at my budget. Oops! All Advertising!
Realize I could have operated a real for-profit business that made something useful and turned a profit much faster
Wholesome sibling energy