Cognizant descent : adhd

[–] vk6flab@lemmy.radio 146 points 5 months ago (3 children)

For anyone reading this.

From personal experience, have a shower daily, go for a walk, even if it's only to the end of your garden or street and drink plenty of water. Sleep if you need to.

This won't fix things, but it will give you an opportunity to give yourself a break.

In my experience, beating yourself up about everything you suck at is the single biggest thing that made it worse for me.

Finally, talk to someone, anyone. In the street, at the bus, at work, friends, family, online, anyone.

This too will pass.

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 56 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Yes.
That's the list of things I know I should be doing but can't.

[–] vk6flab@lemmy.radio 23 points 5 months ago (3 children)

I have been there.

It's not a fun place.

In my experience the thing that gets everything else going is going for a walk. Start small. Walk to your front door and open it. Next time do it again. Perhaps take a step outside. Do it again. Then two steps, closing the door behind you - bring your keys!

The idea is to do something slightly bigger than before, but not so much that you are exhausted or afraid to try again.

The only one who is going to change anything is you, harness your energy and have a crack. Nobody is watching so no need to be ashamed.

Have at it.

[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I get that you're trying to be uplifting and motivating and whatnot but executive distinction making it quite literally impossible to motivate myself to get up and take those first few steps is the problem here.

[–] yetiftw@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

for me, the most important part is not shaming myself. if I could be doing any better I would

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[–] Timecircleline@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 months ago

Then don't do all of it. I like to break my to-do list down to the smallest, actionable step? Usually it's just a shower, but it helps me hate myself less.

[–] django@discuss.tchncs.de 28 points 5 months ago

I wished i had a garden

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[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 95 points 5 months ago (5 children)

There is a book called “Tiny Habits” by BJ Fogg. He invented most of the techniques companies like Meta use to manipulate you and me.

In the book, he explains how to use the same techniques to control your own behavior.

I personally am in much better physical and mental state since I read it.

You cannot beat yourself up until you improve. It does not work. It is a myth.

[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 17 points 5 months ago (24 children)

I can't focus enough to read a book and of I try hard enough I fall asleep after page two. Guess it's not for me.

[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I did the Audible

[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 8 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Thanks I will try it when I can afford it. I just put it on my wishlist.

[–] BarrelAgedBoredom@lemm.ee 10 points 5 months ago (11 children)

If you live in the states, Libby is a lifesaver. It's an online audiobook thing for libraries. You can use your library card to check out audiobooks through the app. And if you're unable to use Libby for some reason, I've heard mobilism has a lot of audiobooks for free

[–] Notyou@sopuli.xyz 8 points 5 months ago

Yes. I tell anyone I can at work about the public library and how you can use Libby or Hoopla to get free books. Some audio books for those not wanting to read. It is a great asset.

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[–] coffeejoe@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 5 months ago (1 children)

My eyes read while my brain thinks of other things.

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[–] tehmics@lemmy.world 7 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Try speed reading. Like faster than is comfortable. I was the same way til I realized my casual reading pace is too slow to keep me interested. I still struggle to get interested but once I am, zooooom

[–] VieuxQueb@lemmy.ca 6 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Being interested is not my problem, the more I want to read something the harder it is to not drift in my mind and have to restart a few lines before. And after a few pages I just start to nod and fall asleep. It's hard to describe. The worst is even if I power through a book I can't remember it the next day. Some events might bring back part of the story in my mind but it's never enough to even make a quote. It's the same for movies although I dont fall asleep I can't remember it the next day. I hate that, and it's not like I have no memory at all I will remember stupid shit other did or where they left stuff etc but the more I need or want to remember something the more I risk forgetting.

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[–] nickwitha_k@lemmy.sdf.org 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Is the book and its methods intended for neurodivergent people? If not, it is important to be aware that it may have limited use to people with ADHD as our dopamine signaling in the executive function parts of our prefrontal cortex is all kinds of fucked.

That said, I'm ecstatic to read that you found it helpful and really appreciate your correct characterization of one of the maladaptive coping mechanisms that we often try to use.

[–] souperk@reddthat.com 10 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I think when it comes to exploitation by corporate interest, having ADHD makes you 10x more vulnerable.

[–] RestrictedAccount@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

And 10x more likely to benefit from learning about what is being used against you and how you can use it in your favor.

[–] picnicolas@slrpnk.net 16 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Here is a large language model generated summary:

"Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything" by BJ Fogg explores how small behavioral changes can lead to significant transformations in one's life. Fogg, a behavior scientist, introduces a method for creating lasting habits by making them tiny and easy to accomplish.

Key Points:

Behavior Model:
- B = MAP: Behavior (B) happens when Motivation (M), Ability (A), and a Prompt (P) converge at the same moment. To change behavior, adjust these three elements.
Tiny Habit Recipe:
- Identify a tiny behavior you want to incorporate into your routine.
- Attach this new behavior to an existing routine (Anchor).
- Celebrate immediately after doing the behavior to create positive reinforcement.
Focus on Small Changes:
- Instead of making drastic changes, Fogg advocates for starting with tiny, manageable actions. Over time, these small actions accumulate and lead to significant changes.
Celebration:
- A crucial part of the Tiny Habits method is celebrating your success, no matter how small. This positive reinforcement encourages repetition and helps solidify the new habit.
Ability and Simplicity:
- Simplifying the desired behavior increases the likelihood of success. If something feels too difficult, break it down into even smaller steps.
Motivation:
- While motivation can fluctuate, designing tiny habits that fit easily into your routine helps ensure consistency, regardless of your motivation levels.
Behavior Design:
- Fogg provides a systematic approach to designing behaviors that stick, emphasizing experimentation and iteration to find what works best for the individual.

By focusing on tiny, achievable changes and celebrating small wins, Fogg's method aims to make habit formation easier and more sustainable.

[–] gressen@lemm.ee 4 points 5 months ago (3 children)

This is awesome, thank you so much!

Can you share the method you used (model/prompt)?

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[–] radicalautonomy@lemmy.world 51 points 5 months ago (2 children)

You mean like having movers coming in a few weeks but not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country? Cuz it feels like you might be referring to my having movers coming in a few weeks but me not getting off my ass for the past five days to start putting my life into boxes to move halfway across the country.

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Don't worry, you'll knock it all out in a single day literally hours before they arrive.

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[–] janus2@lemmy.zip 11 points 5 months ago

hi i just moved today it sucks and you'll probably do a lot of things last minute but YOU GOT THIS HOMIE

[+] ID411@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 5 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago)

[deleted]

[–] breadsmasher@lemmy.world 20 points 5 months ago (1 children)

absolutely me this week … month

[–] H1jAcK@lemm.ee 12 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The last like 3 years for me

[–] mjhelto@lemm.ee 7 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Right? It's like COVID laid bare all the injustices and bullshit of our society and social structures and all but destroyed any motivation to accomplish anything that I had. Things just seemed pointless cause the old myths are fucking lies and I'm tired of killing myself for others during the prime years of my life.

What do you do when your apathy is due, in part, to the world being a cesspool where a few have the most? It really sucks.

[–] Abnorc@lemm.ee 14 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Darn. I'm reading this on the day that I stayed home instead of heading to the gym. I should try to go tomorrow instead of skipping entirely through.

[–] Mongostein@lemmy.ca 6 points 5 months ago

Yes. You got this, bud!

[–] BearOfaTime@lemm.ee 4 points 5 months ago

You "will try" tomorrow.

Take the word "should" out of your vocabulary for the most part, especially with self-talk. It's often not useful.

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[–] KillingAndKindess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 5 months ago

Hey.

You know what?

The only use those types of thoughts have in anyone's life, is to remind you of something you value completing.

Thats it. Once you've had the thought, let the next thought follow just be - Yup.

Maybe you do it, maybe not. But putting that pressure on yourself isn't serving the purpose of doing that thing, in fact, it almost always does the opposite.

So yes, Ideally, we'd have no motivation other than feeling the need to do a thing simply because its what need to do.

But its not like that, for anyone. Stop being so expectant of yourself, and instead just expect that kind of thought to come up, and then wave at it, and let it pass on by.

[–] RiQuY@lemm.ee 10 points 5 months ago (3 children)

Does that only happens to people with ADHD? Because the post is literally me and I've never asked to a doctor about this.

[–] db0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 5 months ago (1 children)

A lot of symptoms of ADHD happen to the general population as well, but in people with ADHD they may happen at such frequency and/or intensity that they become debilitating in the current system.

[–] RiQuY@lemm.ee 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

For the last 2 months I started to consider about going to a doctor because I cannot know if my inability to keep doing tasks or focus on them is because of the enviroment at my home is being harmful to my mind health or if I could have ADHD or similar. Maybe it's the moment to do it, but it doesn't feel confortable for me to ask a doctor.

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[–] tabloid@feddit.de 6 points 5 months ago

Those are also symptoms of depression. Either way, If you regularly feel that way, try to talk to a doctor or support groups to try to get help.

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[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Every friggin day

[–] FordBeeblebrox@lemmy.world 8 points 5 months ago

Posture. I know my posture is bad and remind myself to straighten up…ten seconds later I’m slouched on an elbow.

[–] TDCN@feddit.dk 7 points 5 months ago

Me all the time, but after getting medicated it's a little less overwhelming and I can better calm down about it and slowly chew through the lists of stuff that needs to be done... Slowly... But any progress is better than no progress at all so I'll take it as a massive win.

[–] KAYDUBELL@lemmy.world 5 points 5 months ago

Erryday

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