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A seating chart for an "8 HOUR FLIGHT" with the text "PICK YOUR SEAT" at the top. The chart is composed of 10 numbered seats, each occupied by a different famous Republican politician or public figure, or the devil. Each number represents a seat, and each seat is either adjacent to or between one or two different individuals.
Of course seat 3. That would be the only one capable of a really interesting conversation. Just don't sign anything. 😉
Agreed about 3, but you do have a chronic farter right behind you. seat 9 might get you the "beetlejuice handy" under a blanket
Seat 9 with noise cancelling headphones and beetlejuice in-flight movie might not be so bad... Considering the options...
If you're lucky, the Devil's gonna smell like sulfur and your nose won't be able to pick up on anything else
but you do have a chronic farter right behind you
Plus Diaper Don right in front of you
And you can repeatedly kick the seat in front of you while doing it, earning points with your row buddy.
Omglol, dude....
I don't care where I sit, I won't be in the seat long. As soon as we're at cruising level I'm charging the cockpit and crashing the fucking plane.
The gentleman seated in aisle 3, left sends a stewardess to inform you that you could actually live thru the whole ordeal if you just promise him this one tiny little thing. But he wants it in writing to be sure.
Worth it.
A true hero
3 for sure. Only good person there. Satan gets a bad rap. All he wanted was for us humans to be free of tyranny and to give us knowledge.
Plus, as others have noted, you get to kick Frumpty Dumpty's seat the whole time.
At least with Satan, we all know what he's about. Can't say I fully know or understand any other person in the lineup.
Does seat 9 include the “full Beetlejuice”?
Yes, but MTG talks politics to you the entire time, forcing you to maintain eye contact while she speaks.
Number 2.
Strike up some idle chit chat, how ya doing, nice weather etc…
And then a totally innocent… so whaddya do for work?
Oh man. That’s an angle I never thought of. I always wanted to ask him hard questions and hold him to it. Or tell him what people really think, but to act like you have no clue who he is or what he’s done. How would a narcissist normally react to that?
3 please.
The devil will have some interesting stories about the whole god thing, and I can kick trump’s seat from behind.
9
As awful as they are I might as well get a good over the pants handy from bobert, something tells me she has snail in her though and will probably mash it, worth a shot
Dude I'd love to meet Satan. I'd high five him for having the balls to stand up to the all powerful sky tyrant.
9, I might be able to talk em into letting me cop a feel while getting an angry handy. Or satan, he’s probably got good stories.
Definitely 3 unless its some right wing youtubers profile photo that i don't know about.
But the devil? Sure!
Otherwise mcconel and hulk hogan. Mcconel will probably have another stroke and just zone out for hours. And hogan will rip his shirt and say something racist and get kicked off the plane.
I could sit with Satan and ask him how he fooled everyone else on the plane in to thinking he was God.
Id sit next to Alex Jones. Just stare silently ahead, occasionally lick the air, and moisten my eyes with a wetted towelette. At the end of the flight, turn my whole body towards him, and (remember, without having said a word or acknowledged him in any way) say "Itssss been a plesssure getting to hiss know you." And just slither off the plane.
Gotta be three.
Sit behind him and kick his chair over and over again the entire duration of the flight. Every time he looks back, just shrug helplessly and point at the guy sitting next to you.
Three all the way. Satan and I can take turns kicking T****s seat and talking loudly.
9 because I could probably get a handy before the flight is over. Thinking about it I could do the same at 3 as well
3 and I'm kicking the seat in front quite a lot. I reckon we're going to spend the whole flight giggling.
3, and I'm kicking his seat the whole way. Also I can talk plans with Satan. Maybe get a down payment going on my bar in hell. I'm going to name it, The Bar Men Trip Over.
For an alternative I'll take the seat next to J.D. Vance. I'll remind him he's actually just a journalist with a fancy degree every 15 minutes.
Seat 3 obviously. I love having an empty seat next to me on a flight.
3 for sure. Seems like the most reasonably, least evil choice. Plus, as an atheist, I'd like to get his side of the story.
Seat #9 - at least I could get a handie from BoBo after a few in-flight vodkas…
4
Alex Jones is a piece of shit, but sitting next to him would be like listening to a long episode of Knowledge Fight. Also its an aisle seat.
3... Definitely spend the whole time coming up with appropriate eternal torture for the rest
How many would choose seat #3? I would.
3 easy. He's the only one on the flight that tells the truth.
Number 9 and try to get a handie while MTG is snorting Creatine in the bathroom.
Edit: formatting