this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2024
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[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 79 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

Normalize sleeping in different beds. Doesn't mean you don't love each other. Just sleep different.

[–] Boozilla@lemmy.world 46 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I think it is more common than people realize. If the house has a spare bedroom and the couple is a bit older, there's a pretty good chance they sleep separately at least some of the time. I think movies and shows give people unrealistic ideas about a lot of stuff, including this notion that couples must always sleep together or "something is wrong".

[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 29 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Funny reading this because there was a time TV wouldn't dare show a couple in the same bed. Always had single beds separated by a night stand.

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

LUCY!!! YOU GOT SOME SPLAININS TO DOOOOOO!!!!

WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 20 points 3 weeks ago

I come from a family of very active sleepers. Spouses quickly understand how sleeping in different beds can be a good thing. The love is still there, but so is a good night's rest.

[–] CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social 11 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

It could be the aro in me talking, but I don't really understand how people can get good sleep in the same room as one another, let alone the same bed. Having someone within the immediate vicinity, even an extremely liked and trusted person, seems like it would be a distraction at best and at worst cause anxiety over if I was making it harder for them to sleep

[–] IAmNotACat@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I sleep better next to someone I love and trust because of what I assume are primitive monkey brain reasons.

[–] TheFriar@lemm.ee 2 points 2 weeks ago

Woah, woah, woah! My great-great-great-great ^100^ ancestor was a monkey! Primitive is such an offensive word

[–] general_kitten@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Id say as someone who enjoys sleeping in the same bed (often with people who i am in a non-sexual relationship with and sometimes in a bed not designed for two people) it has kinda the same effect that cuddling with a person(sometimes it is just that) for a very long time so it just feels nice and has you rested in a completely different way. I do agree that the sleep quality often suffers a bit so i wouldn't likely want to sleep like that every night.

It is kinda how many mammals have evolved to sleep, ever seen cats sleep in a big ball in weird positions over eachother?

[–] MataVatnik@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

I love sleeping with my partners but now I'm old and need a CPAP so I can't see myself doing it too much in the future 😣

[–] riodoro1@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My girlfriend won’t even accept two separate duvets.

[–] blazeknave@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Intimacy requires mutual consent

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 45 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

If you're in my bed, you just became my sleeping accessory. Not in a threatening way, I'm just a snuggler.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Sounds like an upside to me

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Ah the classic.

Cold woman under blanket trying to snuggle hot man with no blanket while her cat wakes you up every night jumping around on the damn bed because he heard one of your rustle for 5 seconds.

[–] Pelicanen@sopuli.xyz 7 points 2 weeks ago

In my experience, cold woman is cold for about 8 seconds after she's fallen asleep, then she turns into a living furnace and man turns into living sweat.

[–] Madison420@lemmy.world 33 points 3 weeks ago

My sleeping accessories are two cats, I don't have an option in it so no one else does either. Come to visit? Welp you might have 30lbs of dead weight on ya for awhile.

[–] snooggums@midwest.social 27 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

We bought a bigger bed (king) so my wife could have her pillow castle. Totally worth it because I tend to toss and turn and no longer wake her up.

Plus the dog has space!

[–] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Plus the dog has space!

Don't talk about your wife like that!

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Pretty sure he was talking about their gimp in a nothing but a collar but okay. I guess people just let their animals sleep in their beds too?

I mean who really needs uninterrupted sleep anyway?

[–] illi@lemm.ee 3 points 2 weeks ago

If I get woken up by my dogs, 99% of the time its them barking at a random thing. So would wake me up wherever they are in the room.

I sometimes barely fit in the bed with them, but I like them there.

[–] general_kitten@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I dont know about you but for me a purring cat is the best way to fall asleep

It's not the falling asleep, it's them randomly running around the bed in the middle of the night. Hopping on, off, on the headboard, trying to lay on you...

People say they sleep well with them but sleep studies have shown you probably get worse sleep with them in the bed.

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-024-56055-9

[–] dharmacurious@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

Years ago, I slept on my side curled up like I've just witnessed a horrible murder (still do), and the person I shared a bed with was only 5'4/163cm, and slept with their legs elevated, making them effectively shorter. Three dogs and a cat also shared the bed with us, an American queen sized bed.

We turned the bed sideways, used mattress toppers on each of our sides, and that created a spot in the (now much wider!) middle that was shorter than the rest of the bed. Affectionately named the Bed Trench, it was the new home of the pets.

Best sleeping arrangements EVER

[–] almost1337@lemm.ee 25 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Let's see:

✅ Pajamas

✅ Eye mask

✅ Sleeping pills

✅ Sleep headphones

✅ CPAP

✅ Water-cooled mattress pad

❌ Going to bed at a reasonable time

Eh, 86% is good enough, right?

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

How is sleeping with a CPAP? I've got mild sleep apnea but haven't gotten a CPAP yet. Seems like a lot of hassle to deal with every night.

Probably worth it to stay alive though...

[–] almost1337@lemm.ee 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

It definitely takes some getting used to, but it's 110% worth the improvement to quality of sleep. If your apnea is mild you may be able to get an oral appliance instead, and I hear those are more comfortable.

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks. Yeah I looked into the oral appliance and that wasn't a good option for me.

[–] holycrap@lemm.ee 19 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Looks like that speech bubble found someone

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 weeks ago

I often say that if I ever get into another serious relationship, I want separate rooms.

Man.... I just need my space sometimes.

....And also space to sleep with my stuffed animals.

[–] zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev 6 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I wish my sleeping partner kept their apap accessory on.

[–] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 9 points 2 weeks ago

I literally would t be able to sleep if I didn’t wear my CPAP, largely because my wife would keep punching me.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I got a second dog recently, so the direction/orientation I sleep is utterly dependent on what space they choose to leave for me.

[–] grrgyle@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

I prop myself in place with so many highly specific pillows I think I'm trying to replicate sleeping in zero-g, with no excessive weight on any part of my body

[–] match@pawb.social 3 points 3 weeks ago

that's okay c:

[–] MisterFrog@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Twin singles are great. It's like one big bed, where you're isolated from the others movement