Ask Lemmy

The best time to start regularly exercising and eating at least moderately healthy food is 10 years ago, the second best time is now.

If someone left their partner to be with you, they're capable of leaving you to be with someone new.

If you see a toilet in your dreams, don't use it!

Just go to the fucking dentist.

Put your money where you spend your time. Don't spend money on something if you won't be using it.

You spend a lot of time sleeping, so get a nice, comfortable mattress. Spend a lot of time on your feet at work? Get durable, comfortable shoes/boots, and maybe some nice insoles so you don't limp back to your car from pain. Spend a lot of time playing a F2P video game? Go ahead and buy that DLC or cosmetic item to make it more fun, and support the devs to keep the game going.

The list can go on, but before any non-trivial purchase, I ask myself how much time I will spend using it.

If you’re falling in love with someone who’s “perfect” you’re probably falling in love with someone who only exists in your head and not the real person. That’s a disservice to everyone involved.

You will not be rewarded for doing it fast. You will be penalized for doing it wrong.

From my therapist: In the absence of a crystal ball the best predictor of someone's future behavior is their past behavior.

Don't take shortcuts doing DIY. Prepare, use the right tools. Don't skip steps or do things "quick and dirty". Clean up afterwards.

Red flags in relationships are serious business and don't go away. I wish desperately I never got married, and when someone goes to the point of deliberately running over a squirrel to upset you, you've really hooked up with a sociopath. If your gut says go, go before you tie your finances to that of a crazy person.

Tell people in your life what they mean to you and that you love them.
Often and always, you never know how much time you have together.

Call your mom, dad, your grandparents, spend time with your kids, with your nieces and nephew. Tell them all, that you are proud of them or grateful for them and that you love them.

We always think we have all the time in the world to spend with family and people we love. But if one of their lives is cut short, you might regret it forever!

Do NOT invite anyone into your home that you do not know. And do NOT save someone from eviction and have them live with you if you only barely know them.

I just went through six months of hell with two freeloading pieces of shit who never cleaned up after themselves and almost never lifted a finger to help in the house — all while getting free room and board, free food, etc.

My kid happened to be friends with a kid whose 64 year old mother (kid was adopted) got evicted and we knew them in passing for a good decade. We were the ONLY ones to help, despite them being a part of a church with hundreds of people.

I now know exactly why no one helped them, and know exactly why they were evicted.

Just don’t do it. It’s not worth the stress and the money.

Never start a machined bolt/nut with your electric drill. Start it by hand first.

Brush teeth 3x day, floss 2x day, checkup 2x year

It really helps later. Like life altering

If you're going to "chase your dreams," it might be a good idea to first figure out whether they actually really are yours.

Just get the tattoo. Your parents are already disappointed anyway. Live your life.

If you have to force it, you're going to break it.

Or in my case, tear it.

Cleaning is a skill. Learn to like it young and never have a messy home.

Life isn’t about possibilities. It’s about doing.

Don’t wait.
So much wasted time…

Get. Your. Oil. Changed.

It’s quite embarrassing, but I don’t drive very much (have been working from home for almost 5 years now) and let time and miles get away from me. I’m currently waiting to hear back, but I’m very likely going to need to get a new engine, so this will be the most expensive mistake that I’ve ever made.

I’ve spent too much money on “stuff”. It’s just “stuff”. Experiences last longer.

Remember that, in general, consuming almost always costs you something while producing can potentially give you something. This is true in a very broad sense.

It's really easy to have an alcohol problem without realizing you have an alcohol problem. This is especially true in people with certain personality or mental health conditions. Alcohol cost me a ridiculous amount of money and at least one job and nearly a couple of others. I was drinking to get out of social anxiety and have addiction issues in general, but somehow didn't see how bad I was getting. I would take time off drinking and think I was fine, but I always went back to it. Never start that. Also, never start smoking.

Triple check your tax forms when you land a new job. I got my dream job but realized after the first tax year that they’d been deducting essentially no taxes so I had a very hefty tax bill that year. 😪

If you are a teenager and you currently feel like you have failed at being a man/woman/heterosexual/whatever, then there is a 79.8% chance you are some form of LGBTQ. Stop beating yourself up and start exploring instead. You'll be happy you did.

1. You can offer help, but do not take action until the person you are helping has actually asked. This is of course talking about "real help" not helping someone pick up a book they dropped.

2. It takes a modicum of selfishness to live a healthy life.

3. You CANNOT fool yourself, the sooner you work within your reality the better it will be for you and everyone around you

Don't get married unless you are 10,000% sure. People invariably get sick of each other over time. It can feel like a prison sentence. Real life is not the movies.

"Relationships take work". Yes. Absolutely. But would you buy a car that costs $50k or more to dispose of after it's broken down and unrepairable?

Getting wasted in bars and clubs is not how one finds quality life partners.

Similarly, if no one is into you, that might be because the core of your identity is feeling desperately lonely while getting drunk in bars and clubs.

Wear hearing protection.

check where your retirement and savings are invested. buy a low cost index fund (fidelity and vanguard have great ones).

do not invest in any funds that have high fees. (there are plenty of good funds with fees around 0.1%)

I split my savings between:

• total domestic stock index
• total international stock index
• cash/money market/bonds
• a small amount in a sector fund with higher growth potential (e. g. tech) or risky investments

Find someone you can share the good and the bad. Someone who won't judge you for how things turned out. Someone who will just listen and appreciate you being there. Be that person to them as well.

It doesn't have to be a partner. It may or may not be your parents. But find that person. And never let them go. You may not talk for years even. But always remember them.

Investing even relatively small amounts of money monthly or weekly into an indexed mutual fund or similar at a young age should result in substantial growth and returns over 30 years or so.

Don't get entangled in interpersonal drama among the people you know. If someone comes to you with some petty bullshit about someone else, and you weren't there, don't take their word for it, don't repeat their story.