Memes

I'll have the burger whose contents are stacked too high to eat comfortably and spill out when you try to bite it, please

• Half the staff are wearing wool beanies in dead ass middle of summer

• Sides are a la carte, fries come in a metal cup with newspaper-style wax/parchment paper

• The bottom bun is falls-apart-soggy by halfway through

• Claims to have a huge selection of craft beers...all IPAs, a stout, a sour, and PBR

There's a bar here with that aesthetic. They do serve ok burgers at slightly reasonable prices, but the secret is to become friends with the cooks. Then tell them that you don't care what the upcharge is, but you want them to make you the burger they'd want and to have fun with it.

Now I can go in and say "Tell them TexasDrunk wants whatever burger they want to send out" and 9 out of 10 times I get a burger that's delicious (and sometimes insane). Usually they just charge me the regular burger price.

I don't do it often, but I got good friends and good burgers out of it.

The best burgers are found in places that look like you have to bribe a health official to get a barely passing grade

I went to a place like this once. Had a bison burger (?) and it was avtually fucking delicious. The fries were just "fries" but they weren't bad in any way. Above average in flavor and consistency.

I'm guessing most places like this are garbage and the one time I went, I got lucky.

So the city I live in has a few of these and they're some of the best burgers in town, for fairly reasonable prices.

There's a fucking war on here for the best burger and I'm so happy for it. We don't fuck around with burgers.

They're so good and reasonably priced that the first time I saw this meme I was a little confused. Like yeah the aesthetic is kinda lame but that doesn't change the food. Maybe the stools aren't comfortable but like, there are regular tables. Like what's the problem??

Then I went to another city.

My friends, I am so, so, sorry. You don't deserve this. Good burgers aren't hard, they're really not. Just stay home, invest in a griddle. Even if it's just a small one for your stove top, you can make better burgers at home. Make friends with a local butcher, he won't steer you wrong. I don't know what caused that trend but I know the only way to stop it is to stop going.

Funnily enough, I'm Spanish and the meme is somehow also accurate here?

• chef wearing black gloves

Worst place I ate brought the raw burger to you next to a boiling hot slab of rock. I was expected to cook my own burger the way I liked it. Well fuck you, I'm paying you to cook my meal. Plus it just seemed disgusting to have raw meat at the table anyway

And its name is always like some suburbanite place: The Yard, Patio Patties, Culdesac Restaurant & Bar

remember r/WeWantPlates ?

Sed Porttitor isn't even that good, I dunno why they need it on their menu a half a dozen times.

This is absolutely not true.

Sometimes it's a very mediocre $8 taco.

Seen this meme tons of times and I never noticed the menu was lorem ipsum

Don't forget the smugness. These types of places always have such smug staffing, like they think they shit gold or something. It's like bitch please, you're demanding someone pay a day's wage for you to fuck up ground beef. Fuck off out of here with your foofoo bullshit burger.

Copy + paste small business tyrant investment. Like a ghost kitchen. They all just copy each other because it returns a consistent profit.

There is probably some kind if grotesque item in the menu as a "draw", too. The Tower of Cheese. The Bacon Bun. The [town name] challenge, a dish made of 34 kinds of flesh. Get in here, techbros! Get your grub.

The beer menu is on a chalkboard all the way across the bar and you can't see it.

Facts. We have a burger place like this that people love for some reason, but I swear they most the mid-quality burgers for $20+. It's crazy that people keep going there, imo.

Portland 2005, except it's damn near impossible to get a bad meal in Portland. Best food I ever had consistently in my life.

[edit] Oregon