this post was submitted on 02 Aug 2024
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[–] nondescripthandle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 95 points 1 month ago (6 children)

What, are they half white and half sectional or something?

[–] pyre@lemmy.world 42 points 1 month ago

his kids are half Indian half weird

[–] billiam0202@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago

I think the proper term for the offspring of a man and couch is "loveseat".

[–] Makeitstop@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

You think he's ashamed of the fact that his kids are bi-sectional?

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 month ago

he'll probably leave their mother for his side L

[–] hohoho@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Half Lovesac, so sactional

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[–] thefartographer@lemm.ee 50 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

When pressed, he added: “Look, all [Trump] said is that Kamala Harris is a chameleon.”
“She is everything to everybody, and she pretends to be somebody different depending on which audience she is in front of. I think it’s totally reasonable for the president to call that out, and that’s all he did,”

Oh! I get it! The racists who make everything about race don't like it when the races try to celebrate their race.

I shudder to think how Vance is gonna handle the first time his kids get mixed-race comments. You think he'll tell them they gotta choose to be Indian or white, but they can't be both? Ooooh! Bonus points if he fumbles his words and starts trying to backpedal when he says something about "Indians and Americans," and then has to explain why Columbus was actually an amazing genius and not a failure in every sense of the word.

[–] djsoren19@yiffit.net 8 points 1 month ago

You think he'll give them the choice to be Indian? He'll tell them that they're white if he likes them.

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[–] dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net 49 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I feel kind of bad for his wife, but she did clerk for Brett Kavanaugh and John Robert’s, and was a lawyer arguing on behalf of big corporations, so…I don’t feel that bad.

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 38 points 1 month ago

Also she married him and has endorsed him. I feel bad for the kids.

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Most of that stuff doesn't bother me. I don't think most legal clerks have the luxury of choosing only judges who they're philosophically aligned with to work for. And everyone, even big companies, deserve legal council. But she married a shit bag, and she's endorsed his views, so I don't feel badly for her.

[–] PythagreousTitties@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago

Exactly. She also married him. She doesn't get a pass.

[–] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago (8 children)

Vance was gay, and then he wasn't

"I'll never forget the time I convinced myself that I was gay. I was eight or nine, maybe younger, and I stumbled upon a broadcast by some fire-and-brimstone preacher. The man spoke about the evils of homosexuals, how they had infiltrated our society, and how they were all destined for hell absent some serious repenting. At the time, the only thing I knew about gay men was that they preferred men to women. This described me perfectly: I disliked girls, and my best friend in the world was my buddy Bill. Oh no, I'm going to hell."

When he brought up the issue with his grandmother — known to Vance as "Mamaw" — she replied bluntly: "Don't be a fucking idiot, how would you know that you're gay?"

When Vance explained his reasoning, she laughed.

"JD, do you want to suck dicks?" she said, according to the book.

The young Vance, apparently "flabbergasted," said: "Of course not!"

"Then you're not gay. And even if you did want to suck dicks, that would be okay," she replied. "God would still love you."

[–] AFKBRBChocolate@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

At least Mawmaw gets points for not skipping the "God would still love you" part of Christianity, unlike most Republicans.

[–] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Shame he still turned out weird

[–] Spezi 6 points 1 month ago

Maybe its because couches don‘t have dicks to suck.

[–] rigatti@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Conversations that definitely happened...

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Having met southern grandmas, it strikes me as very plausible that it did.

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[–] BetaBlake@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's said every time, but this implies that Mr Jorkin Dapeanus wanted to eat pussy as a child.

[–] Cadeillac@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

It is not said every time, and I did not want to think about this. Stop it!

[–] mightyfoolish@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

So, Vance:

  1. Has biracial kids
  2. Honestly believed he was gay at one point
  3. Experiments sexually [with couches]

Any chance the man is actually a double agent? Any chance he represents some sort of new trends in the Republican world? Or is he in it for the grift?

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[–] ThePantser@lemmy.world 25 points 1 month ago

“She is everything to everybody, and she pretends to be somebody different depending on which audience she is in front of. I think it’s totally reasonable for the president to call that out, and that’s all he did,” said Vance, who also accused Harris of putting on a southern accent during a campaign stop in Atlanta on Tuesday.

You mean like Trump who was a Democrat and now isn't or Trump was all for project 2025 and now isn't? Trump has more flipflops than a coastal beach.

[–] Ghostalmedia@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Vance’s children identify as loveseats since they are only half-sofa.

[–] BigBenis@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

Love that all these alpha males have no balls whatsoever

[–] inclementimmigrant@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I feel bad for his kids to have such messed up parents.

[–] 5oap10116@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

As a half asian/white person, white people call me asian (mostly slurs), and asian people call me a mistake.

[–] InternetUser2012@lemmy.today 5 points 1 month ago

I'm sorry. That's terrible and really shitty.

[–] xc2215x@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

J.D Vance knows his supporters.

[–] aquinteros@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I can't believe the Cheeto found someone even more of a cuck than pence .... it's unbelievable

[–] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 6 points 1 month ago

I wonder if seeing him abase himself and his family for a chance at power was what he was chosen for.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 1 month ago

The man has a price and everyone can see what it is.

[–] TargaryenTKE@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

Wow, what a couchfucking coward

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