this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Anon's body is a machine (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 1 month ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
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[–] DumbAceDragon@sh.itjust.works 393 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

For those who don't get it, the joke is diabetes causes unmetabolized sugar to end up in your urine.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 85 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Oooooh...

Sometimes my piss smells like sugar, but it often smells like a lot of things. Usually piss. Sometimes asparagus.

[–] stebo02@lemmy.dbzer0.com 97 points 1 month ago (3 children)

guys stop smelling your own piss just flush it

[–] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If it can help to alert you to a potential medical issue and then you go see the doctor; I don’t see it as bad thing.

I’ve tasted my own piss before to see if it was sweet.

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well don't leave us hanging. Was it?

[–] dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 26 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It was not. It was rather bland actually but I do be hydrated all the time.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Need to try again next week, don’t give up so easily

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why next week? We need daily samples.

[–] slaacaa@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Thank you, sugar in your ~~tea~~ pee!

[–] repungnant_canary@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

It's actually beneficial for controlling your health to monitor piss and poo. Not to obsessively investigate it. But just to know what's normal for you so you know when to worry.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

For poop:

  • the bristol stool scale
  • and your frequency (anywhere from daily to weekly is normal and varies a lot person to person so learn your normal)
  • color can vary a lot so that's less important but here's a few common ones other than brown:
    • bright red. This is a small amount of blood and from very close to the exit so it's not great but you'll be fine. Be nicer to your butthole though: stop eating taco bell and use more lube. Maybe put some A&D on the outside until it stops doing that.
    • dark black like tar. This is what a lot of blood from very deep in you looks like. Go to the ER immediately.
    • light grey / white. This means your liver isn't putting old trash red blood cells into your poop like it's supposed to and you should go to the ER immediately and find out why not and where it's putting them instead.

For piss:

  • should be light yellow "straw" color and clear
  • not cloudy and DEFINITELY never chunky.
  • Also should not be a syrupy consistency, I've legit seen diabetics pissing and it looks like they're pouring syrup into the toilet also that's how you get horrible bladder infections bacteria love that sugar.
  • You should also pee about 4-10 times daily and it can vary a lot depending on how much you're drinking and how much you're losing other ways like sweating or vomiting.
  • if your pee turns a little dark throughout the day that's fine and you just need to drink more water.
  • if your pee suddenly turns dark brown go to the ER.
  • beets have a dye that can change pee color and that's harmless
  • some medications can change your pee color and sometimes that's fine and sometimes it's bad talk to your doctor about it but for example
    • pyridium turns it red and that's fine
    • I can never remember which b vitamin but it makes your piss super bright yellow and so people use it to help fake drug tests because it makes their urine look less dilute when casually observed. They'll be able to tell what you did if they look closer though.
[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

And Beats (by Dre) can also turn your piss red, that is cause for concern

/J

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I actually love this comment and this style of humor and wanted you to know that I'm absolutely chuffed.

[–] BugleFingers@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I believe he was saying he loved her too. Red is the color of passion after all

Rightly chuffed, Cheers!

[–] Fontasia@feddit.nl 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hence the "poop shelf" which has taken over toilets in the last decade

[–] naught101@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago (1 children)

In what country? I saw them in Germany decades ago, but I haven't seen one in Australia yet

[–] Fontasia@feddit.nl 2 points 1 month ago

Go look at a Bunnings or Reece, 90% of their models since about 2018 have been with poop shelves. Granted, that does mean it will take a while before they're everywhere, but it's only a matter of time.

[–] DerArzt@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

guys stop smelling your own piss just ~~flush~~ drink it

FTFY

[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Coffee

[–] EtherWhack@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I've gotten top ramen before, same with apple jacks.

[–] Croquette@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

The first piss after coffee has a distinct smell haha

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

It can be other things than diabetes as well, like an infection or liver failure.

[–] marx2k@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Whew! That's a relief

[–] Mycatiskai@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hopefully you were in the bathroom when you relieved yourself.

I know I was.

[–] marx2k@lemmy.world 1 points 1 month ago

I was. It smelled like coca cola

[–] mvirts@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Get yo self a glucometer if you're thinking about it, diabeetus is real obvious once you start using the right tools. Also they're super cheap these days.

[–] tacosplease@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Mine frequently smells like whatever meat I ate, especially after eating a couple chili dogs or smoked meat.

[–] Mongostein@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Everyone’s talking about the smell, but I’m thinking about the colour after I eat a bunch of beets

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Living amongst avid beet eaters, I never noticed a color change. Guess i metabolize beets particularly well, which is neat.

[–] Mongostein@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

My pee comes out pink. It’s startling!

[–] Justas@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

Could be artificial sweeteners.