Gullible

joined 11 months ago
[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works -4 points 3 days ago

Lemmy’s literacy level: below high school. Jesus fucking Christ.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 days ago

And I would chronically ignore it. He had had to learn his lessons the hard way, his childhood marred by a severely diabetic mother ignorant to her dietary constraints and a father unremarkably worldly and confined to their home due to his wife’s relentless id.

Every year since his sixth yielded marked weight loss for his mother, with knives and needles harvesting her numb, gangrenous limbs at regular intervals. Her mind had lapsed due to neuropathic complications, so, by the time he had barely seen what it meant to live, the doctors had taken from her everything but her torso, her family, the bag that disposed of her waste, and her ever shrieking mouth. The pallbearers said it was the lightest casket they had ever had to lift.

Often I wondered who had enabled her eating habits, whether it was saccharine poison with intent. But my father speaks on this with little detail and my grandfather’s senility or guilt had buried the information by the time I had needed to ask for it. In the end, there are only the experiences we keep and pass forward, like recipes!

Get your sweet tooth ready because the recipe calls for two cups of powdered sugar, three eggs, and a whole loaf of white bread!

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works -5 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I’m perfectly fine. The people who knowingly attempted to read a fanfic about violating an elderly woman and grew upset at its withholding, on the other hand...

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 61 points 4 days ago (2 children)

OS: chromeOS
Phone: stock xiaomi 10
Browser: internet explorer (VM)
Search engine: baidu results served through ask jeeves
Location: Constantly updated via API to Facebook
Cookies: batch downloaded
Send optional data to Microsoft: printed and mailed

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 days ago

“You see the fat idiot yet? I told him he looked thinner and he subsidized coal. Didn’t even have to offer the briefcase this time.”

Manipulating the stupid and greedy is easy. They’re making money hand over fist, everything else, consequences included, is in the ether.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago

“Hey baby, those legs go all the way up?

“And around!”

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 8 points 5 days ago

A fun beach trip requires three people at minimum. Seeing all of those couples “enjoying” their beach trips, stewing in a salty bath of denialism just makes me so sad. It’s like, accept your misery already.

/j because this is lemmy

 

Secondarily, should the fan be outside or inside the window?

Asking for a friend. (Me, help. I can’t remember physics, it’s too goddamn hot)

Edit: I’ve opened all the windows and set up a fan a short distance from the window pointing out and it’s reduced the temperature to near-tolerable levels. Unfortunately, venting through the attic was a no-go but moving things aside might make it an option next time. Thank you all, I appreciate the help!

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 12 points 6 days ago

Very fair. I’m not a fan of the misrepresentation of modern fish farms as sustainable, either.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 28 points 6 days ago (8 children)

As far as low environmental impact protein farms go, I personally prefer shellfish. They’re delicious, can survive mostly on algae (which I’d love to become another dietary mainstay), and can be used to clear heavy metals in non-dietary utilizations. Spirulina is delicious as well, but tends not to be a great heavy metal sink.

In the end, I just don’t love the texture of most bugs and I hope sustainable protein farming can branch out more in the future.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 16 points 6 days ago

Wait, where’s the circle? I’d love to read this joke everyone’s going on about.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I agree. Taking the audience’s extreme tendency to strip context into account, it’s worth offering context. And that leads back to the beginning.

1
submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/comicstrips@lemmy.world
 

[panel 1: A small, bespectacled man sitting at a table takes a bite of pancake. Their glass is filled with golden liquid, matching the color of the dog staring over the edge of their table. Their eyes lock.]

[panel 2: the dog’s tail shifts into overdrive and its eyes pleadingly grow to the size of saucers.]

[panel 3: the man grins and hoists a pancake above their canine companion. Its eyebrows arch and body quivers.]

[panel 4: the man releases the pancake and it stops with a soft plop atop the dog’s head.]

[panel 5: the dog searchingly turns toward the noise, pancake still resting between its eyes.]

[panel 6: the dog’s brows lift in grief as it turns right, continuing to helplessly investigate the mystery of the missing pancake.]

0
Timeless (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/comicstrips@lemmy.world
 

[panel 1: a large dodo approaches a clean, well dressed vagrant youth sat beside a well fashioned wood and stone building. The youth warily guards a bag holding their belongings and the stick they use to travel with it. The dodo asks “Pardon me, do you have the time?” and the youth replies “yes, it’s -“]

[panel 2: the dodo exclaims “You have the time!”]

[panel 3: a quartet of dodos appear and excitedly chatter over one another: “He has the time.” “The time! he has it!” “At long last! Our desperate search is at an end! The time has been found!”]

[panel 4: they lean in amongst one another and whisper “PSSHHWSSSSPTT SSHSSHHPSSTT”]

[panel 5: the group approaches the youth and asks “Will you… give us the time?” And the youth replies “It’s nine fifteen.” The dodos exclaim “AAAAAHHH! NOW WE HAVE THE TIME!”]

Wondermark by David Malki

2
When god gives you lemons (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/atheistmemes@lemmy.world
 

[description: the painting “the creation of Adam,” but Adam is a cat repeatedly, and well deservedly, bapping god’s outstretched arm]

 

I’m trying to submit a direct link on lemmyshitpost but not one of my attempts has yielded a direct image link that actually plays the giffeo.

The gif

https://imgur.com/6VfBQfa

Links I’ve tried so far:

https://i.imgur.com/6VfBQfa (obviously not right) https://i.imgur.com/6VfBQfa.gif (doesnt play) https://i.imgur.com/6VfBQfa.webm (doesn’t load)
https://i.imgur.com/6VfBQfa.gifv (doesn’t anything)
https://i.imgur.com/6VfBQfa.mp4 (nope)

Anyone know how to direct link to an Imgur giffeo?

 

No.250341473
>fantasy setting has magic and flying creatures
>still using horses as main transportation

No.250341651
>>250341473 (OP) #
>setting has nuclear energy
>still using coal as main energy source

 

No. 16346143
[a photo of a tall, cylindrical white boiler and a short, blue furnace in a brightly lit brick walled basement. A mess of silver pipes extend from and above the pair and a thin puddle encircles them.]
okay /x/, l've got something to share with you
>be me
>last night
>lying on couch, watching some tv show
>shitty weather, raining and cold after 3 weeks of unbearable heat wave
>all of a sudden I hear someone inhale and cough
>shit my pants at that moment since I know that I'm the only one in the house, girlfriend is pulling night shift
>turn down TV, can't hear anything
>shrug it off as sound from TV or my mind playing tricks, it was pretty late
>10 minutes later I hear footsteps
>ohfuckmyfuckinglife.jpg
>now I'm 100% sure that I'm not alone in the house
>jump up, turn on the light and run to the hallway to get my bat
>i grab the bat and start checking rooms
>light from hallway is illuminating parts of kitchen
>notice dirty tracks that lead to the basement
>6 feet away from where I was lying
>ohmyfuckinggod.webm
>slowly open the basement door
>there's no fucking light down there
>go to get a flashlight
>return with flashlight in one hand and a bat in the other
>slowly go down the stairs
>I can hear something rustling in the far corner of the basement
>someone is breathing heavy and digging through stuff
>I stand near the boiler
>peek around the corner and I can see tall figure standing illuminated by the dim light of a street light from small basement window
>scared shitless I turn off the torch in hopes he wont notice me
>he was tall, I'm 6,2 and he was taller than me
>anyway, as I was standing near the boiler I noticed that it was leaking all over the floor
>has anyone had that kind of a problems?
>can I repair it myself or do I need to call a repairman?
>pic related

No. 16346909
>>16346143 (OP)
Spray some flex seal on it

 

Today I am going to tell you what I am most afraid of.... here we go.
>Be me
>Be about a 6/10
>Just move into a new neighborhood and have no friends
>Be outside mowing the lawn when random dog runs up to me
>Look up and a 9/10 is running after it
>Help her get dog back, introduce ourselves
>Become very good friends
>Eventually begin dating
>Fast forward about two months
>New girl moves in
>eh about a 7/10, would boink
>Try to be polite and introduce myself to new girl
>New girl and I start to become friends too, even though she seems a little odd
>Tell her i have a girlfriend, can see she is (literally) insanely jealous
>Fast forward two more weeks
>Start to see less and less of my girlfriend and at the same time new girl starts to become even more of a psycho bitch
>Fast forward 4 days
>Get a random Facebook message from my girlfriend saying that 7/10 threatened to kill my girlfriend if she ever talked to me again
>wtf.jpeg
>Fast forward one more week
>Do not hear or see either girl since that message on facebook, start growing very worried
>Random knock on my door, Its the cops
>Shows me picture of two girls asking if I know them
>Say yes, getting more worried
>Cops tell me that 7/10 committed suicide and remains of my girlfriend showed up in her stomach during the autopsy

TL:DR why was the 6 afraid of the 7? Because 7 ate 9

 

No.3807239
[a photo of a large olive green carp relaxing in a bath tub, only barely fitting within]
>"Stop being a pussy and hop in, dude"
What do you do, /an/

No.3807248
Jack off into the water and laugh as it's forced to breathe my cum. Fish have no answer to this. What plants do to me, I will do to them.

4
Anon bows to the queen (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
 

>Lived just long enough to not have Boris Johnson speak at her funeral

Unfathomably based

3
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Gullible@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works
 

[pictured: Ronald Reagan wearing a black suit and tie with a white shirt. His body is nearly turned sideways, chin lifted and grinning at the camera, resting his weight on his right elbow with his left hand clasped loosely over his resting right wrist. Italicized text upon this propaganda poster reads: “RONALD REAGAN speaks out against SOCIALIZED MEDICINE”]

>a c-list actor's career flopped so now I have to pay $1000 to set foot in an ambulance
any other examples like this?

 

>Volcano erupts in Indonesia
>Locals don't notice because they have shit weather radar
>747 flies through the dust cloud
>All 4 engines get filled with volcanic ash and burn out
>"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. All four engines have stopped. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. I trust you are not in too much distress."
>Spend 12 minutes gliding, dropping 23,500 feet in the process
>The pilots are preparing to be the first 747 ever to attempt a water landing
>Finally one of the engines restarts
>But ILS is offline
>Windscreen is completely opaque due to ash, no way to clean it
>Manage to land running entirely on instruments
>Fatalities: 0
>Injuries: 0
Survivors: 263

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