this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2024
462 points (96.0% liked)
Greentext
3947 readers
894 users here now
This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
founded 11 months ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I'm regularly surprised by how many people manage to shit themselves, and how it's common enough that people have a casual laugh over their "shat myself" stories. I feel left out. I laughed so hard I peed myself once when I was 5?
I have IBS, and while I've had many close calls I can proudly say that I've never shit myself. As someone that's basically a flight risk for accidental pooping, as well as having heard these stories before in-person, I often wonder if more people have stomach/bowel problems than they'd like to let on.
you've jynxed yourself and i kind of hope you shit yourself now just so i can say "shouldn't have shitposted about it" in response.
this might be my most elaborate shitpost yet.
i left work right after clocking in because a fart felt like pushing out more than just air. so embarassing
I sneezed and shat myself the other month, maybe you're young or maybe you've got a good bowel sytem.
I coughed, burped, and sharted simultaneously a while back. It was disorienting and I felt violated
If you time it right you can hit the ceiling with those
That's how we deal with the trauma.
Never trust a fart.
So say keto dieters
Clearly you're all blocked up. You should eat more fiber.
OP has a gaping asshole.
Drink way too much cheap liquor and you too can have the opportunity to shit yourself the next day.