Fuck_u_spez_

Have you tried blasting yogurt up your butt?

The Paper Street Soap Company™

Some of this style of packing peanuts are made from corn and are actually completely edible. They don't taste great, though.

The what now?

What if that head is bald and I'm also high?

And the other one is flicking a cigarette.

I get mine at the vision center in Walmart every two years for around $110-150 without any insurance which gets me an eye exam, contact lens prescription, glasses prescription, and one trial pair of contacts. I believe they are all third party, optometrist-owned practices that just rent space in the buildings so YMMV.

I can remember watching a partial eclipse in the early '90s from my elementary school... except we were only allowed to watch it from inside of a lame cardboard shadow box of liability and fear. It was as underwhelming as it was safe.

All the men on my mom's side of the family have been bald for as long as I can remember so I knew I was doomed when my hair started thinning in my early twenties. Now that I've been shaving it for years, I don't miss it one bit. It's so much less of a hassle than keeping it clean and straight and cut neatly.

It's just hair. You can either own it or wear a hat while you wait a few months until it grows back -- and then be grateful that it still does.