-Emma-

the waves crashing down are a terrible thing but the sounds on the shore where the little birds sing can be all that i need to keep going despite all the troubles surviving the ocean at night

i want to keep going; i cannot concede to the violence within causing me to recede

i know that i can't always gain what i seek but i know not how to escape from such a bleak and foreboding dismay of ideas in my mind and the fairy tale ending that's so hard to find

the journey itself is a battle it seems but there's hope in my heart to fulfill all my dreams

and i think that i must not sink further below

this struggle is real and i can still feel the undertow

but i will go on

i try to escape when it feels like i'm being pulled down and i don't know how to get out of here

being held under the surface fighting for a purpose igniting several verses

as it all goes gray i fear for today and the promise of tomorrow there's bound to be sorrow i wish i could borrow the power to eliminate this dread and despair and somehow to repair myself

it's almost too much to stay where i am to battle my demons to debate why the land that i know is the road to no- where

and if i can somehow overcome this now and keep from being pulled down again i'd still have to try to make a break for the shore and i don't know what to do anymore i'm trapped on the floor watching waves crash above but i'm guided by Love

How do you feel about Pride? Plan on going to any events?

Hi, I'm Emma (she/her).

So, long story short:

• I am lonely

• I wanna befriend some local LGBTQ+ people here in southeast Louisiana

• I can't send/receive direct messages to/from Lemmy users with this Mbin account, but I have a Lemmy account I can use if necessary

About me:

• I'm a 90s kid

• I'm a trans girl

• I began transition, including HRT, January of 2023

• I suffer from OCD

• I'm a Linux nerd, kinda

• I use PureOS on my Librem 5

• I use QubesOS on my Librem 14

• I use pfSense on my firewall/router

• I'd like to think that I'm somewhat good at writing

I'd love to meet some LGBTQ+ people, but I don't know how. The only support group I've found is exclusively online via Zoom, and only Facebook users are allowed. As a privacy and security obsessed person, I'm totally excluded, and I just feel so trapped right now. I want to meet people offline, and I just don't know how.

And I'm really sad right now thinking about how much I love the friends I've made online in the past few months and how I feel so isolated from them.

It hurts to post this, but I feel that I must. I don't expect to find anyone, but I have to try.

Edit:

DMs between Lemmy and Kbin/Mbin still do not work, so here is my Lemmy account:

@Emma0@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Hi, I'm the total mess known as Emma, and I'm currently a little overwhelmed with things.

So, long story short:

• I started HRT January 2023

• I desperately need bottom surgery as soon as possible

• I'm worried that I should have been doing electrolysis instead of laser

• I'm worried about wait lists for surgery

• I'm worried about the costs of surgery

• I need to find a surgeon

• I'm interested in evacuating to a safe state on the west coast

• I feel overwhelmed with everything that I need to do

There's so much going on for me right now, and I'm seeking input from everyone here with something to say about any of my struggles.

Thanks ❤️

Hi, I'm Emma! If you recognize my avi from Matrix chat rooms, yes I'm that Emma. 😊

Ada and others can verify that I'm legit.

So, long story short:

• I am lonely

• I wanna befriend some local trans people here in southeast Louisiana

About me:

• I started HRT January 2023

• I have ESP! (Estrogen Spironolactone Progesterone)

• I'm a Linux nerd

• I use QubesOS

I'm making this post here, because this is a much bigger audience than the Matrix chat rooms, but I am also nervous.

I know the odds are still against me, but I have to try.

Edit:

DMs between Lemmy and Kbin/Mbin still do not work, so here is my Lemmy account:

@Emma0@lemmy.blahaj.zone

Hey, so I'm on a different instance, and I hope it's not out of place for me to post here. I really like Mbin for its design and features, and I made this account specifically for interacting with LGBTQ+ posts.

Anyway, there are a few things I'd like to discuss, if that's okay.

First, I'd like to know if it's necessary for me to report posts if they've already been reported on Blahaj. Like, is it just a federation delay that causes the bad posts to still be visible for a while, or is my reporting necessary to get them removed?

I've noticed that the recent troll posts are coming from lemmy.today and eviltoast.org, and I'm wondering if these instances should maybe be considered for de-federation from Blahaj. It seems like one or two users are ban-evading by making new accounts on these two instances. Are there any legit users that would be affected by this de-federation?

Also, I wonder if I made a mistake by boosting a few threads recently. Like did I accidentally get the attention of these transphobes? Should I refrain from boosting?

Again, I hope it's okay for me to post this here.