Transfem

from this video: https://inv.tux.pizza/watch?v=fi7_6SqretM

annnndddd I'm wearing it to go pick up my first batch of hormones in a couple hours 🥰

I was at this fry shop today and the owner was teaching his new minions how to make what I had ordered. He said sir in the background. Well, I'm used to it, so whatever, I plopped my butt down and waited for that golden finger lickin' goodness.

Eventually the guy awkwardly comes to the front through a door. Acts out of place. Says something nice to this person and that person, dunno what he was up to at first so I just did my thing.

At some point he works up the courage and walks up to me and makes some small talk. Then he asked me my pronouns, so I'm like she/her. He apologized that he misgendered me before and called me adorable! 😭

Now, just yesterday someone called me a trannie before riding off on his bicycle, but that's a story for another time. Safe to say I'm a fair Claire ⭐

After much consideration and fighting with my brain, I've decided that it's okay to ask for help in hard situations. So, I'm making this in hope that I receive at least a little bit of help. I'm asking for money, friends, and any advice you can give me. Everything counts and will help me during this rather terrible time. I'm Uni (name TBD) and I'm a 16 y/o transgirl unfortunately situated in the USA. You may know me as a regular on the Blahaj Matrix chats going by "Miss Universe".

So a little bit (a lot?) of backstory to sort of explain my current situation. My egg cracked October last year and it was both the best and worst thing that has happened in my life so far. Being a minor means that I can't really do anything about the fact that my egg cracked, I'm fully relying on the people around me to help me (which has failed). Put simply, as a minor I have absolutely no control over my body or my life, I have no money, no experience, and nowhere to go.

I came out to my mother and step-father (my parents are divorced) February this year, and while they seemed to be supportive at first they semi-recently turned on me and have been mostly unsupportive since then.

As for my father and step-mother, they are both actively transphobic republicans. I have no plans on coming out to them until after I turn 18, and it would be unsafe to do so before then.

Basically, as of now I have basically no support from anybody in my life and I'm completely trapped as my dysphoria gets worse with each passing day.

With my situation sort of explained(?), why am I actually here? Pretty much I'm here because I need money. Money for clothes, makeup, just stuff that can hopefully help me alleviate some of my dysphoria until I'm able to afford to do so myself (which as a minor is difficult). And also I suppose gas, in case it comes to it and I need to run away, even for a short period. I'm also looking for advice, I don't really know what to do and it would be really nice to have at least some semblance of what I could be doing right now.

I don't really know if any of that made sense, I'm bad at organizing my thoughts and even worse at asking for help. If you have any questions post them in the comments and I can probably answer them.

You can support me here on Buy Me a Coffee if you so wish, and/or with advice in the comments. Every donation counts.

Hey, so I [17 MTF] have now known I'm trans for a bit over 1.5 years. Still, I have only come out to precisely 2 friends and my parents, even though I am a member of several groups that are trans-supportive. I have extreme anxiety when it comes to that.

Some reasons that I believe are part of why: (CW transphobia included)

• My parents didn't take it super well and are kind of on the edge between transphobic and supportive. (They have a lot of transphobic views but are generally not malicious about it and try to use gender neutral terms for me most of the time.)
• One of the friends turned out to be quite transmed despite being trans herself, and has invalidated me on several occasions for not having enough dysphoria at the time.
• I'm scared other people won't take it super well and I have no functioning support network.
• I'm scared I'll be seen as some kind of abomination
• I don't really feel like I "deserve" to come out since I haven't started HRT yet (and my parents do not support me starting, so I have to do this in secret) and don't feel like I pass well enough. I know I don't need to, but telling my anxiety any of that has no effect

This anxiety is absolutely crippling my progress. It extends not only to coming out but also leaves me too scared to even make an attempt to pass. I look pretty fem already and have sufficient voice training for most situations, but I don't even attempt to use that voice in public just in case it might slip. For this reason, everyone assumes I'm male very quickly upon me saying anything, which also leads to the anxiety worsening because now I'm also scared it was the looks and not the voice.

Additionally, I am non-confrontational to the point of fawning a LOT, which means I end up trying to appease anyone I have a conversation with even when there is no reason to. If someone criticizes the way my walls are painted for example, I will always agree with them to at least some extent, even if I actually like the way the walls are. This also makes coming out super hard because there is absolutely no way I will stand up for myself if someone reacts negatively. And that'll of course validate them in their negativity.

As I've said, I have multiple groups that I know to be trans-supportive. But there, I am afraid coming out might still lead to disapproval due to me "not passing enough". (Once again, I know this is a harmful way to think, but that's what I'm here to fix.)

I'm on a waiting list for a therapist, although I don't know how trans-supportive they are. I'm primarily there to help fix the anxiety and possibly get the autism I suspect to have diagnosed. I do hope they're good with trans stuff too, but it's not a requirement as I've already sorted the medical things out with slightly less-than-legal options.

So, my question is: Do you have any tips on how to reduce this anxiety and expand my support network by coming out in more places?

That is, wife (43) and daughter (12). Told them I was re-evaluating myself and who I wanted to be, and that I wanted to try being "cuter" (didn't quite have the courage to go further), and that perhaps men's clothing didn't suit me.

The wife was mostly "yeah, right" -- seemed happy that I was trying to improve myself but seems to think it's just a phase (maybe it is? idk).

But my daughter was right on board! Came up with a load of outfit and makeup suggestions, and proposed going to an anime convention together, dressed up. I asked her if she'd think it was weird for me to go about dressed as a gothic lolita, and the response was "no, I think it'd be cute."

So next step is maybe cute anime girl cosplay at home, with an ally!

I'm literally shaking with ... excitement? fear? relief? I have no idea. Ohgodohgodohgod what am I doing...

I've been lurking here more lately, but I haven't been completely absent. It's been around a year since I joined lemmy, and just over a year since I came to the conclusion that I am indeed trans.

It took a while, I've had a few big steps up in feeling comfortable with being trans. I spent 6+ months on a kick of "I'm not cis/I might be trans" and a bit later to "I'm trans, but embarrassed about it" but in the last couple of months keep getting more, almost, proud to be trans. A couple months back I finally accepted calling myself a trans-woman. Still a bit of a shock to me 😅

I finally started pulling the trigger and started buying some stuff from the women's dept, mostly just lounge and sleep wear. But feel somewhat less uncomfortable about even looking at it.

I told my therapist a couple months back I had started more seriously researching hrt and she asked how it felt. I said something like, "nervous, but a little excited.." more recently, it's been more like "excited, with a little bit of nervous. Like waiting in line on a new roller-coaster"

My spouse had some struggles at first, and is still also figuring things out with me, but sounds super accepting and has talked about hrt and other ideas as if it's any other typical big relationship topic.

Also, lately, euphoria-wise, I realized, I fucking love sleep shirts and sleep dresses! It's been just over a year since I cut my hair and occasionally, it sits around my face just right I can see a woman beginning to appear! ☺️ Its getting long enough to be able to do the little head shake/flip to get the hair out of my eye and it's kind of euphoric to be able to do that.

ANY-WHOSE how are things going with the rest of you girls? Any new, unexpected euphoria lately? Any tips or tricks? I feel like I'm past so much fear and almost ready to come out to some people

Oh! BTW, I did actually come out to an old friend and an old coworker who both understood and accepted, which was awesome!

Edit: also, fun fact! I have red hair. And about as much body hair as is possible. I've been trying to remove it, never really liked it, convinced myself I was fine with it. I'm not anymore. Either way! Found out from an estatician that apparently redheads have deeper rooted hair. 🤷‍♀️ Also! I already knew redheads were less sensitive to anesthetics. So, I have tons of body hair, deeper rooted hair, and numbing stuff doesn't work that well... It fucking *sucks" but I'm trying my damndest to power through.

First, if you have any interest in seeing this movie, do not read anything about it, just go see it as soon as you possibly can.

What did y'all think of it? Any film recommendations in a similar vein?

I spent this last weekend partying at a cabin, then came home and immediately had to do a 5:00am video shoot for work come Monday morning, so I had no energy to put into my appearance today at all; I have been a walking husk, just carrying this fresh-outta-bed disheveled look through my day lol.

Once my shoot was over, I decided to get myself some McDonald's breakfast and went through the drive through. I made my order in my very deep voice, and was told, "ok, that will be $7.50 at the next window, sir." That's what I expected, because I have quite a manly voice as default, and I am not confident enough in my voice training to use it out in public.

However, I get up to the window to pay, the lady takes one look at me, and says "Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry, ma'am! Of course, ma'am!" That had never happened to me before, where somebody heard me speak, sees me and still decides I'm a woman. Getting misgendered did not bug me at all, since it was what I expected in my unglamorous presentation today, but hearing her be so sure that "ma'am" was the right word for me even in my husk state really just made my day.

I spent the next hour just saying "Wow, holy hell. Whoa. That's crazy," in joyful disbelief. Early shoot be damned, today kicks ass! I just needed to tell somebody lol

archived version

AMAB kids love wearing the Elsa dress too!

(Crass commercialism, and blonde haired blue eyed white lead character issues aside)

Hopefully this indicates that diverse gender expression becoming even more socially acceptable as the Frozen generation matures into adulthood.

Just wanted to share my 8 months mark.

last post made me really euphoric with the compliments. I like feeling cute ^.^ I think maybe I'll keep posting on here from now on.

Not sure if this is the place to post, but I've moved a lot recently and there aren't really any queer folks where I live. I'm looking for some kind of discord or something to chat and vent and just feel a little less alone.

I'm pretty old and I've "completed" my transition, and I'm always happy to share my experiences or knowledge if people are interested.

And apologies if this isn't the right spot for this post.

Edit: And it has pockets!

How do I look? I've been feeling very euphoric with the new clothes but nervous if I pass or not..

But I've at least been feeling super cute lately and I try to push the doubts down. ^-^

So this morning I wasn't able to stand without nearly passing out and thought for sure they weren't going to let me go home. I was really down and having some difficulty processing that I might need to be in the hospital for yet another extra day. It was really disheartening because I had actually been able to walk previous days but after the pain spikes I wasn't able to

I got a motivational call from someone close to me though, the hospital trans outreach person brought the emotional support chihuahua by a couple of times, and I built really specific plans with my nurses and doctors for ways I could get walking again

It took so much work and I was exhausted through the entire way but I managed to do it! Also bonus points I finally managed to poop which was a big event after five days of not 😐

They let me out of the hospital, one hour car ride back home with only some minor screaming pain toward the end, and I'm back on track again. I've walked around a couple more times today, like to go from bed to food to couch, I'm extremely exhausted, but we're back on track after the couple extra nights at the hospital

I get to bumble around with the catheter for a couple more days still but that will be out soon enough

Update 1: I used a walker but I got out of bed, across the house, and into a couch without help from caretakers! This is the first time I haven't needed someone to at least help lift my legs up once I'm at the target destination. Last night was mostly amazing I finally got more than like two hours of sleep at once (at hospital there were constantly people waking me up for various meds and tests). I did have one brief period of bladder spasms which felt pretty awful but now I know what they feel like for me early on so hopefully I can catch them early next time and get ahead of it. I'm really happy right now

Update 2: Yesterday went well I did a lot of good walking. I'm not doing the full suggested amount yet though I'm running into serious fatigue partway through the day. Today the primary goal is to get through not being able to do bladder spasms meds for 24 hours before catheter removal. So I'm staying really on top of pain meds basically, making sure to continue to shift off the heavy pills and move to tylenol and ibuprofen. Having to be laying down so much is really starting to set in some back pain so hopefully my endurance gets better quickly and I can move around give my back some variety

Update 3: As expected my bladder spasms are casually ignoring the pain meds so I'm trying to find out if there is anything that I can do other than suffering for the next 18 or so hours. Good news though is I made it up two stairs to get myself outside! I said hello to some bees and listened to the birds yelling at each other, smelled some lavender bushes, really helped with mental health

Update 4: If I wanted to torture someone I'd put a catheter in them then just wander off for a weekend. I've only got about 8 more hours before this cursed device comes out of me

@mtf Tell us one of your of your most Gender Affirming Experiences you've had :3

@mtf Trans Pride Southampton 2024

We are running our 3rd Annual Trans Pride Event here in Southampton, UK. You are welcome to come along to it if you can attend.

29th June 2024

@mtf I grabbed a few on the way home :3

Currently laying in the hospital, like 18 hours post surgery. I didn't ever think I'd get here and there has been so much hardship but I'm here and so far recovery is going well. Obviously there is still a long way to go and there could be complications down the line but I'm happy and well right now

I've been able to have a full meal already and in a few hours they're going to see if I'm able to shuffle around. The nurses have all been so kind to me. When I went into the OR before I was under, they let me name the giant robot arm machine. Everyone here has been good I feel very cared for

Because all the meds and bandages my brain hasn't made the connection yet though which is exceptionally weird. I'm having phantom limb basically. I've read about that happening can't say it prepared me for how it actually feels in person though

Update 1: I was able to walk two times, the third attempt I almost passed out after standing up though. I've had some good hours of sleep but suddenly got very locked in feeling and anxious, my body is sore from laying down and not being mobile enough to get comfortable spiked my anxiety. They're going to give me a relaxant soon. Tomorrow we're going to try and get a good breakfast, a warm drink, some anti nausea, and see if I can walk around outside my room some. I think I'll be able to but it's going to be rough. Drinking lots of water because I'm off the drip now and need a ton of fluids still

Update 2: I walked like 15 feet and back! My entire day has been the singular goal of making sure I had as much going for me as I could to make that walk. Breathing exercises, nausea control, carefully timing different meds, staying well hydrated. It took everything I had but I did it and I'm feeling pretty good. Almost completely unassisted too only needed help moving after I got back to the bed and couldn't lift my legs back up. going to try and do it all again today and be ready for discharge tomorrow noon-ish.

Update 3: No discharge today. Last night was spent mostly screaming in pain :/ Doctor came in to look and said it's a stitch on the bolster being pulled taught from swelling. I got new outer padding on to help, some pain med refreshers, and told because I showed how well I could walk yesterday that I should focus on taking it easy today and getting swelling down. No stitches or anything popped while I was flopping around in pain so really about as best as it could have been. I'm so proud of how well I walked yesterday and come tomorrow I'm going to be seriously itching to wander around again instead of being bedlocked

Update 4: First attempt at walking today almost ended in me shitting myself and passing out. If I can't get walking around today then they're going to end up keeping me at the hospital another day. I'm really tired of the hospital bed and morale is a bit difficult to maintain right now but I've got to keep going forward. I know I can walk I've already been up and about several times it's just if I can walk well on release day

I havent gone swimming in around a decade, and now that I'm a little over a year post up I really want to but I'm still so nervous to actually go and buy a swimsuit. 😅 there's something intimidating or nerve wracking about the process.

Anyone have experiences buying swimsuits? Is there any tips going in I should know? I think I know what style I want, a 2 piece with high waisted bottoms and a top with an underwire.

As promised yesterday, here's probably the first photo I've ever posted of myself