I've been lurking here more lately, but I haven't been completely absent. It's been around a year since I joined lemmy, and just over a year since I came to the conclusion that I am indeed trans.

It took a while, I've had a few big steps up in feeling comfortable with being trans. I spent 6+ months on a kick of "I'm not cis/I might be trans" and a bit later to "I'm trans, but embarrassed about it" but in the last couple of months keep getting more, almost, proud to be trans. A couple months back I finally accepted calling myself a trans-woman. Still a bit of a shock to me 😅

I finally started pulling the trigger and started buying some stuff from the women's dept, mostly just lounge and sleep wear. But feel somewhat less uncomfortable about even looking at it.

I told my therapist a couple months back I had started more seriously researching hrt and she asked how it felt. I said something like, "nervous, but a little excited.." more recently, it's been more like "excited, with a little bit of nervous. Like waiting in line on a new roller-coaster"

My spouse had some struggles at first, and is still also figuring things out with me, but sounds super accepting and has talked about hrt and other ideas as if it's any other typical big relationship topic.

Also, lately, euphoria-wise, I realized, I fucking love sleep shirts and sleep dresses! It's been just over a year since I cut my hair and occasionally, it sits around my face just right I can see a woman beginning to appear! ☺️ Its getting long enough to be able to do the little head shake/flip to get the hair out of my eye and it's kind of euphoric to be able to do that.

ANY-WHOSE how are things going with the rest of you girls? Any new, unexpected euphoria lately? Any tips or tricks? I feel like I'm past so much fear and almost ready to come out to some people

Oh! BTW, I did actually come out to an old friend and an old coworker who both understood and accepted, which was awesome!

Edit: also, fun fact! I have red hair. And about as much body hair as is possible. I've been trying to remove it, never really liked it, convinced myself I was fine with it. I'm not anymore. Either way! Found out from an estatician that apparently redheads have deeper rooted hair. 🤷‍♀️ Also! I already knew redheads were less sensitive to anesthetics. So, I have tons of body hair, deeper rooted hair, and numbing stuff doesn't work that well... It fucking *sucks" but I'm trying my damndest to power through.

Did you have a tipping point between realizing you were trans and you started HRT?

As in, when you de oded to start, what did that moment look like for you?

I think I'm a point where I'm more interested in trying, but have a lot of fears holding back, which I think makes it feel like I want it less than I do.

I was talking to some others about this and it made me realize I think I want it a lot more than I thought.

Does any of that make sense, or am I just rambling? 😅

I'm feeling so much more confident in my trans identity, I te s kind of crazy. I'm at a point where I'm getting more confident removing hair and such.

I'm getting to a point where I'm getting super interested in makeup, especially foundation and contouring to cover my nasty shit and hide my big nose and all..

Also, I so want to get more feminine clothes. A skirt, a dress, something, but idk what, or how to get something to fit my shape?

Basically, I want something new, I have a couple avenues, but I strongly don't know how to do either.

I was at a store earlier today and the woman checking me out was borderline gushing about my nails and how good they looked and how they were between Mardi Gras and St Patrick's day and matched my (leprechaun suit) shirt and it just felt beyond awesome! 🥰 I saw her braided hair on the way in and wanted to say something, but idk how without coming off as creepy since I was still boymoding and all but...

🥰

Still riding that high 🥹