Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon appears in a viral tiktok (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 1 month ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 93 points 1 month ago

Well dating somebody who uses TikTok was your first mistake.

[–] Gork@lemm.ee 74 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Mr. Feast sounds like an awesome name tbh

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Certainly better than Fancy Feast.

[–] sazey@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)

anon didn't really expose himself to be fair

[–] turtlepower@lemm.ee 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Just because he didn't spread his asshole, doesn't mean he wasn't exposed.

[–] Fal@yiffit.net 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think the point was he didn't expose HIMSELF

[–] Localhorst86 39 points 1 month ago

What's so bad about being a personality hire?

I know I am ugly as fuck and not rich, so if someone were to be with me, because of my personality, i'd consider this a win.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

If true, this shouldn't be all that hard to find.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's 4chan, it's not real.

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

The infamous hacker?

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago

I think I see what really happened here...

Anon finished up his Twitch stream when he happens to notice that the Looney Tunes where Bugs Bunny dresses up like a girl rabbit is on.

Becoming highly aroused by Bugs perky bosoms, he decides to pleasure himself with great haste.

After bringing himself to a shameful completion, he suddenly notices that his webcam is still on, and all of Twitch is now talking about him and sharing video clips.

Thinking swiftly he blames the whole thing on his "girlfriend" stating that he's told her 1000 times not to use his webcam for her TikTok account.

He then informs his traumatized and shell shocked audience that he is going to give her a serious talking to right now then ends the stream.

Anon then proceeds to shout at a rather moist and somewhat odoriferous anime body pillow that he calls his "waifu".

Anon then takes to 4Chan to spin the yarn and get condolences from his like minded peers.

[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I know I am only there to look pretty on her arm and I’m ok with that.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

I don't even need to look pretty, I just want to be on her arm.