Imagine opening a phishing link and suddenly your balls are taken hostage by a hacker
this post was submitted on 10 Jul 2024
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WannaCry? No, WannaCum.
"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or I'll give you an errection in front of the HR manager."
Or worse
"Pay me 5 Bitcoin or you'll never get an errection again.*
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Future kink
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After you get snipped, it's potentially weeks/months before you are shooting blanks, a switch like this is less of babies/no babies and more like babies/accidental babies.
Edit: sorry for facts on shit post
Yes here is an article about it. Article
The relevant part. “The binary nature of the Bimek SLV might make it seem that you can switch off your potency at will, but the body will need time to flush existing sperm out of the system, as it were. The ever-helpful FAQ says that it may take up to three months, or “until about your 30th ejaculation.” Whichever comes first is a question only you can answer.”
30th ejaculation? pfft, hold my beer and watch this.
Yep. For anyone who's that serious about not having children, that's more like an incentive.
Source: got snipped.
When I got mine, the doc said I should wait about two weeks then "ejaculate as frequently as possible" before returning for the scheduled checkup/semen test.
Doctor's orders! 🫡
Lol I was given the same advice.
“Go home, rest up for two weeks, the bust as much as you can before you come back and get tested”
That's like half a day. What am I supposed to do with the other half?
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This was my first thought. I could see this being a medical procedure in place of a vasectomy. Get switch (or something less likely to get bumped) installed and set to off. Then when you want to have kids, another procedure to turn the switch on.
People keep looking for a quick fix for male sperm control, I didn't think it is possible. At least not as a off and on solution that keeps coming up.
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There’s a big difference between this and getting snipped. The difference is, like, vast. It’s a vast difference.
More of a vas deferens I think
Yes, indeed, you said the funny part aloud.
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This, but I want the voice command changed to "Go go gadget genitalia"
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i like how each tube has an individual switch. for when you only want some cum
Its so you can decide if its gonna be a boy or a girl
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So a toggleable vasectomy.
Trouble is you need a several days (maybe a week or more) and/or a few ejaculations to actually be sterile after a vasectomy... So this isn't the kind of thing that you can flip on in the moment and you're safe.
I'd imagine most men would only need to actually use the switch twice in their lives anyways. So having to wait a couple weeks wouldn't be too bad.
Better to keep it off until you and your wife are trying for a kid than keep it on and flip it off for saf(er) sex. Why keep your cum on while you're just walking around?
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Hang on one second babe…
(clap-clap)
Great! Someone should write HomeAssistant integration!
"Hey, Google, I'm having sex!"
Google turns down the lights and turns on the balls.
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I don't want a kill-switch. I want a turbo-button to slice metal sheets with a jet of cum.
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I'd just forget which one is on and which one is off. Also I have zero need for the on setting.
Just redirect my urethra and install a single Y-Valve. Flip the switch up and I cum out the tip, flip the switch down and I cum out my taint.
Ultimate pull-out method.
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I see two casings for switches. Do you have to toggle each ball individually or something?
Also, how do you remember which way to flip the switch? Can it get turned around?
Flip them on and off repeatedly to put them in pairing mode.
"FUCK, I came for longer than 5 seconds. Now I have to go through the factory reset AGAIN."
"You've turned on sticky keys."
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Dude imagine getting hit with a groin shot with that fucking thing in your taint
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click
Before continuing, please accept the following terms and conditions.... [35 pages of legalese ensue]
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Wait won't this turn off their brains? How will they breathe?
This seems more practical for a temporary birth control for men.
Still under development, but works like a microscopic net to prevent sperm from exiting and can be dissolved later if you do decide to have kids.
This is the real reason Data doesn't tell everyone where his off switch is.
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I guarantee you the same people working to ban abortion and female contraception will go after this too.
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