Asklemmy

Being nice to people makes them happy to be around you.

“Langer demonstrated this fact by asking a small favor of people waiting in line to use a library copying machine: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I’m in a rush?”

The effectiveness of this request-plus-reason was nearly total: Ninety-four percent of those asked let her skip ahead of them in line.

Compare this success rate to the results when she made the request only: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine?” Under those circumstances, only 60 percent of those asked complied.

At first glance, it appears that the crucial difference between the two requests was the additional information provided by the words “because I’m in a rush.”

But a third type of request tried by Langer showed that this was not the case. It seems that it was not the whole series of words, but the first one, “because,” that made the difference.

Instead of including a real reason for compliance, Langer’s third type of request used the word “because” and then, adding nothing new, merely restated the obvious: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make some copies?”

The result was that once again nearly all (93 percent) agreed, even though no real reason, no new information, was added to justify their compliance.”

Excerpt From Influence Robert B. Cialdini, PhD

A good retail one: don't say "sorry for your wait." Say "thank you for waiting" or "thank you for being so patient".

Something to do with... it makes people feel good about themselves if they think they've done something for you, which in turn makes them more likely to keep being patient.

I can get people to tell me their life story and trauma within 10 minutes of meeting them.

Someone tell me what psychology trick I'm doing so I can stop doing it!!!!

When in an argument, wait for the other person to stop talking then maintain eye contact and say nothing. They'll feel the need to fill the void and keep talking after a few seconds, but this move throws them off balance and helps calm them down. Also works great with angry customers at retail jobs.

Also, when you suspect someone is lying to you. After the silence, they'll often try to cover up the lie because they suspect you've figured them out.

Be kind and use people's names. Also, just asking for stuff.

You'd be amazed how far it will take you just to ask for something, using a person's name, and being kind about it. Demand something and people will be reluctant to give you a thing.

Another fun trick I learned in sales is that if you're trying to get someone to purchase something, instead of having them focus on whether or not they should get something, change their question to something else.

For example, I used to sell phones. Instead of having people try to figure out if they want the newest Samsung or not, I would take the phone in two different colors and ask if they liked it in blue or black instead. Putting it in their hands let's them imagine having the phone already and the question changes from should I purchase this phone to what color do I want?

I'm quite sure this can translate to other questions and decisions people ask themselves

Taking a walk every day helps improve the mood on my dopamine deprived brain.

Sometimes the person you really need to trick with psychology is yourself.

Allowing yourself to be wrong. Especially as a male.

Instead of trying to figure out a way to still kind of be correct, you just objectively reconsider the facts.

It made me a better adult. I prefixed a lot of my statements with "I think" or "I believe" to emphasis the possibility for me to be wrong. And I'm more inclined to ask questions. (Which sadly gets a lot of people riled up because they have a hard time believing I'm not doing it sarcastically.)

answering questions in an accuate way that still leaves the asker with no real additional information.

The power of "yes, and ..."

Basically when you are being accused of something, or need to shift how someone is perceiving you, instead of saying "yes, but ..." You should try 'yes, and..."

Not only does it take the attention away from the negative, but it's helping in building up new ideas.

Upvoting posts that really aren't that great.

If you don't want to answer the question, say "I don't know, what about you?" and they'll start talking about themselves, and you won't be in the spotlight anymore.

If you want someone to approve something, ask for something over the top outrageous and then when they expectedly say no, you „compromise“ to the thing you actually intended.

If you are in a debate and you want to nudge someone towards your opinion, or at least away from theirs, without triggering the typical emotional defence behaviour which ruins rational discussions, calmly ask objective questions which point towards problems in the arguments of your partner.

From my experience, I found this certainly helps to keep discussions civil and make people think rather than just judge emotionally, even though this is not a one-fits-all tool.

(A) Such questions can be used to inquire about the reasons for a statement or opinion, which can provide you with a broader argumentative "attack surface" and might weaken your discussion partner when they discover that their point of view is not as sound and good as they thought it to be.

This basically boils down to principles of epistemology. "How do you know?"

(B) Another use is to include facts or opinions in such questions which counter the argument of your partner and let them re-evaluate it.

Two simple examples:

• "Why do you think that wolves are dangerous for humans?" (A)
• "How does this fit with research which shows that wolves avoid humans and don't see them as prey?" (B)

That way you don't necessarily present yourself as an opponent, since your own opinion is not directly verbalized. Instead you hop into a more neutral role, where you ask genuine questions and show interest in the other person's point of view. Combatative counter arguments are rephrased and hidden that way without the other person realizing it.

Something niche to my field (custom furniture and woodworking) is that RAISING prices can increase sales. Wealthy clientele want both a piece that is quality, but also something "worthy" of gracing their home.

A mentor of mine had beautiful, handmade pieces for 600$. He was still in his "starving artist" phase and kept slashing prices to make some money back. He had lunch with a friend who was a painter. he discussed the amount of time (30 hours) and materials that went into these pieces and they weren't selling for even 600$. She immediately told him he was insane and to jack up prices. He told all the stores he was showcasing in to raise the prices from 600$ to 3000$. He sold ALL 10 of them in 3 months.

Pricing is a careful balance of charging what is fair, and what the client expects to pay. If you are building a dining table for a client that has $500k worth of art and paintings covering the walls, he is expecting to pay in excess of $50,000. If you quote him $10,000, hes gonna get cold feet and go to someone else charging more.

Same phenomenon in this video. Banksy selling pieces for 60$ on the street and barely sells any. His pieces usually sell for $20k

https://youtu.be/7mxJT2uXtrE?si=m0RexNfLI2EBIydf

People are HIGHLY class oriented and kind of stupid. The price is not the piece but what it says. They want a piece that says "I'm rich as fuck".

The soctatic method. It forces people to actually think about their position in an argument