Ballet stars, and their notoriously poor balance.
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He seems to have astonishing balance for someone with one leg
His other leg:
"haha no problem, this is polonium tea"
don't worry this is just normal tea I offer before I throw you off building
I mean ballet dancers are known for being klutzy and prone to tripping over their own feet. Right?
Happens all the time, it's why they recommend you don't practice ballet on slippery roofs.
A nice window to the future for US citizens critical of their government... a window ripe for defenestration...
If I die mysteriously from a fall, please refer to this comment.
Actually you will probably die in a Tesla whose doors do not open https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/friends-trapped-in-tesla-burned-to-death-when-electronic-doors-failed-to-open-after-crash/ar-AA1tWPYH
Or which just hits you: https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/06/10/tesla-autopilot-crashes-elon-musk/
I mean now where Teslas are probably the next mandatory car for state officials. And after some "Think Tank" will be pretty sure that all the saftey fuss about autopilots is bad for the economy.
They'll just "find drugs" in your car. Local police forces will be able to link information profiles on you to license plate readers. They'll get an alert for a "liberal" coming into their town and pull you over under some small premise like you were "swerving."
Stay on the ground floor, Russians.
Heart attacks happens on every floor.
So do poisonings, and shootings but we're just mitigating circumstances here lol.
"Tragically fell from the ground floor balcony and landed on two bullets to the back of the head."
This is Russia, no joke.
They don't have any budget to do it differently or it's a power move, like, it's not official but you know it?
It's a calling card. Everyone knows what happened, not a single soul will comment on it. Unless they fancy being the next up for flight lessons.
I wonder how Red Bull sales are in Russia.
This isn't funny.
You're just blessed enough not to recognize gallows humor. We're actually jealous of you.
Ah the ol’ defenestration situation.
What? No window?
Russia be slippery. My heart goes out to these rare brave souls in a land of cowards.
So many people fall from their windows or balconies in Russia that I am surprised they are still legal
Someone pushed for a new law outlawing them, but the efforts ended after he accidentally fell off a balcony to his death.
his proposal had quite the impact, they say.
It's to make the point that they were murdered. It's a fear tactic with plausible deniability.
they are still legal
People?!
In another article emergency services responded with this gem.
He died a natural death. It’s not a crime.
cause of death: the natural impact of cement on the body experienced after a perfectly natural fall
Everything is fine, nothing to see here. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm just going home. To my family. Which I love very much. And who I would never put in danger by not doing my job exactly as instructed.
I imagine Russia is like the Star Wars setting, lots of crazy steep drops and they never install railings.
The platform where Darth Vader confronts Luke has railings, so they clearly have the parts, tools, and a guy who installs them. Maybe he's just held up on Level B?
That's the second addition this week: Suspicious deaths of notable Russians
How long before windows make it to the statistics of average deaths per-year in Russia?
This just piles up on the reasons Russia needs to be denuclearisased, putin getting ousted, democracy installed and so on.
Good news Russias economy is in the toilet and someone has started flushing already, Ukrain will prevail and hopefully we'll have peace one day.
More realistically, he'll probably die of old age or be ousted by someone younger and more exciting to the wealthy elite that keep Putin in power. Real change may come after that, but a change in leadership is not going to immediately fix long term issues like corruption, wealth disparity, etc.
"in an apparent suicide, putin critic ________ shot himself in the back 20 times. more at 11"
[Official KGB Statement]
We are shocked - SHOCKED! - to hear that our esteemed citizen, Vladimir Shklyarov, has taken his final bow on the great stage of life. We cannot stress enough that this was an honest and completely-not-at-all-intentional incident.
It appears (and we're not saying it's a coincidence at all) that Mr. Shklyarov was simply... um, reenacting a particularly rambunctious pas de deux with the building itself. Yes, you heard us right - he was doing a dance move so dramatic, so full of life, and so bereft of any actual physical control, that it could have been misinterpreted as an "accident" (we're sure).
We've spoken to his ex-wife, who claims he was trying to "dramatically" exit the apartment by stepping off the balcony (she's a bit of a drama queen herself, we hear). But we know the truth - he was simply on a mission to break the world record for most consecutive pirouettes in a single building.
The local reports of him being "trapped" in his apartment are, of course, completely fabricated. We're pretty sure it was just a... creative interpretation of the situation (wink, wink). And as for the painkillers? Oh no, those were just a bit of a... well, we won't mention that.
We'd like to remind everyone that in Russia, we have a saying: "The show must go on - and sometimes, it's better to let the curtains come crashing down." We're confident that Vladimir would have wanted it that way.
So, in light of this tragic... event (we'll get to the word 'tragic' later), we'd like to propose an official KGB investigation into the "unlucky" circumstances surrounding Mr. Shklyarov's passing. We're sure it will be a thorough and completely-not-at-all-biased inquiry.
Again? That's another reason to uninstall all windows. Especially in Russia.