this post was submitted on 01 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] jws_shadotak@sh.itjust.works 137 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] spacecadet@lemm.ee 45 points 3 weeks ago

*Too many cooks *

[–] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 72 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

In my elementary school play of Cinderella. I was cast as a pile of animated clothes. My role was to lay still and then suddenly spin around like one of those spinning brushes in a carwash and flail off the stage.

[–] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 57 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] MeatPilot@lemmy.world 68 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah I tripped, knocked a stage light over, and burned everything to the ground. I was the only survivor.

Was called the "Tragic Cinderella Sizzler" by local newspapers.

[–] bandwidthcrisis@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Are you sure that you're remembering this right?

I find it hard to believe that the newspaper didn't come up with a headline based on calling her "Cinders".

[–] exu@feditown.com 6 points 3 weeks ago

"This play really sparked a fire in us, the whole building really"

[–] dethedrus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 3 weeks ago

To shreds you say?

[–] tias@discuss.tchncs.de 61 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

It's a school activity, why isn't the school paying for the materials

[–] Random123@fedia.io 59 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 41 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

In America they make you pay for your child's own religious indoctrination

[–] jballs@sh.itjust.works 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I would prefer it that way. Government funded religious indoctrination makes me nervous.

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 14 points 3 weeks ago

Yeah, about that...

[–] ReiRose@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Cause funding the military is 50% of our taxes 🤸🤼‍♀️🤹‍♂️

[–] Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

The military budget is 36x bigger than NASA.

Mars could be the 51st state if the US were not so war hungry.

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[–] OldChicoAle@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

Because this is America. I had to buy a history textbook in high school. Good thing we have enough money for a genocide though /s

[–] Takumidesh@lemmy.world 12 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It's most likely a private school.

[–] superkret 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

"Private school" is what Basic Training should be called.

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[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

And why is a school doing a nativity.

I'm Christian and have taken part in dozens of nativity, but none at school.

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[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 50 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Door? At the nativity? Did they finally got a room on the b&b?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 26 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Maybe she's the door the innkeeper slams in their faces.

[–] shundi82@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)

There's actually a Jesus Christ Superstar parody told from the view of the innkeeper (featuring The Mighty Boosh's Noel Fielding and Julian Barratt, Julia Davis, Rich Fulcher, Matt Lucas, Matt Berry and Richard Ayoade):

AD/BC: A Rock Opera

[–] Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 weeks ago

Bless you for sharing this.

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[–] Eiri@lemmy.ca 38 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I thought casting students as inanimate objects or plants only happened in TV shows.

No no. I was a tree as a child too. I don't remember what the play was.

Not to brag, but I was the only tree with a line.

[–] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 25 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It's a mathematical reality if you want to give every kid in a class a role.

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 11 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Take some liberties: for one, it's a manger, add animals. For two, it's a work of fiction, add aliens, or Wookies, or robots. For three, the whole point is to have kids feel included and be interested, so add MDMA or something.

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[–] Eiri@lemmy.ca 9 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I just thought that in real life, when they were out of on-stage roles, other children would do something else. But then again if the children are, like, 7, it's not like you can assign ALL the jobs to them.

I hadn't thought about it. But then again, I never did any sort of play at school.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Come on, Billy, you need to bulk up by mid December so you're heavy enough to pull the rope that opens the curtains! The entire play depends on you!

[–] Confused_Emus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 weeks ago

No dress rehearsal today, it’s the stage manager’s nap time, go practice your lines for a few hours.

[–] jlh@lemmy.jlh.name 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

rough way to tell parents that their child is as dumb as a doorknob

[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 32 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought it was a-door-able

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Unfortunately the other kids will call her a "door-k" for the rest of the school year.

[–] Zwiebel 24 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] MewtwoLikesMemes@lemmy.world 46 points 3 weeks ago

It's a major plot point for the Jesus fandom.

[–] webpack@ani.social 15 points 3 weeks ago

it's like the birth of Jesus Christ type sh, https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nativity_of_Jesus

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 23 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

They couldn't add an extra animal in the manger?

All this overfishing man

[–] 5oap10116@lemmy.world 17 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

This better be a private school

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[–] son_named_bort@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

So she should dress up like Jim Morrison? Odd for a nativity scene but whatever.

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[–] Hikermick@lemmy.world 14 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] 0ops@lemm.ee 6 points 3 weeks ago

I'll wait to see if the kid can swing it

[–] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

She’ll be a-door-able.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

I was a dead alien in our primary schools' production of Men In Black.

My role was to go limp in a chair and let one of my classmates mockingly wave my corpse limbs around in lieu of dancing.

[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

This actually brought back bad memories for me. Depressing stuff follows:

I went to a private school and had the same teacher for all six years. He hated me for multiple reasons and a lot of things he did to me would be considered just plain abusive today. It was bad to the point that my parents, who didn't understand the issue, only figured it out when my mom ran into a schoolmate of mine years later in a supermarket and she told my mother that she felt so bad for me because of how he treated me.

Anyway, one of the first signs of this was that in first grade, we were going to do a winter puppet show for the parents. Like I said, this was a private school. It was split into grades 1-3 and grades 4-6, so we're talking like 10 kids here. I was super excited because I have always loved performing. He knew I was super excited. So he cast me as... snowflakes. I had to hold up too snowflakes on sticks and move them around. I was absolutely crushed.

The good part is that as an adult, I've been paid to do standup and have done some critically well-received VO work (for some names you would recognize but I'm not going to say, sorry).

So fuck him.

Anyway, not your fault, I just had to let that out.

Back to the fun.

[–] Etterra@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

One does not merely turn their child into a door.

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

... With cardboard and string.

Thanks. Appreciate the assist

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

google door costume

In high school, I was in a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream (I was act 2 open fairy/Peasblossom) and the absolute best part was the play in a play, Wall spoke her lines and flapped off stage like an enormous bat, funniest part of the whole play.

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