why jesus cakes hanging out
Also my money on the four armed elephant dude with an axe
this post was submitted on 31 Oct 2024
948 points (97.9% liked)
Comic Strips
12412 readers
3099 users here now
Comic Strips is a community for those who love comic stories.
The rules are simple:
- The post can be a single image, an image gallery, or a link to a specific comic hosted on another site (the author's website, for instance).
- The comic must be a complete story.
- If it is an external link, it must be to a specific story, not to the root of the site.
- You may post comics from others or your own.
- If you are posting a comic of your own, a maximum of one per week is allowed (I know, your comics are great, but this rule helps avoid spam).
- The comic can be in any language, but if it's not in English, OP must include an English translation in the post's 'body' field (note: you don't need to select a specific language when posting a comic).
- Politeness.
- Adult content is not allowed. This community aims to be fun for people of all ages.
Web of links
- !linuxmemes@lemmy.world: "I use Arch btw"
- !memes@lemmy.world: memes (you don't say!)
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
Dude forgot to gird. Rookie mistake.
Go on.
Yes it looks like an iron axe, and God has a problem with Iron:
https://biblehub.com/judges/1-19.htm
Judges 1:19
The LORD was with the men of Judah. They took possession of the hill country, but they were unable to drive the people from the plains, because they had chariots fitted with iron.
So the idea that God is almighty is pretty ridiculous, according to the Bible that is.
I never actually read much of the thing
I just assert that the burning bush was absolutely cannabis sativa, despite any solid evidence to the contrary. I don't care that it's not native to the region or whatever.
Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.
Anyways, why the fuck was he driving people out of the plains? Homies were just chilling in their iron chariots.
For the same reason as now - because Israel wanted their land.
I can't claim to have much experience in the matter, but I don't think people who just chill generally have chariots fitted with iron. Like if your neighbor happened to have a tank and a bunker, would you say they're just chilling?
load more comments
(2 replies)
If we consider the Sistine Chapel's depiction of the realm of heaven to be divine inspiration, the clothes were added later after some complaints.
The whole concept of original sin is such that pure beings such as Adam and Eve did not even realize that they were naked until they ate the fruit of carnal knowledge.
Therefor it is canon that God likes to hang out with his wang out. Freeballin.
Also Jesus was a bottom
Do you think he was topping 12 dudes a night? They started a religion after him because he was nice not because he was a multiple cummer
So it totally makes sense for him to be flying cakes in a fight with a Hindu god
I'm not sure what your religion is but I regret to inform you that you're not going to the good place.
Based on having had to read that comment I would say we're already in the bad place
I'm a slut for cum fill me Judas
~Jesus Christ, probably
Consider that the first time he broke out the superpowers was when a wedding didn't have booze. So he turned WATER INTO WINE. Just don't rule out him topping 12 dudes a night is all I'm saying. He brought the party.
load more comments
(2 replies)
No pants for serious mode
When they're both Christians, Jesus just picks his favorite. If you lose you know that you're not jesus's favorite. Sorry that's just the way it is. Loser.
Sorry to all Christians but every Hindu deity wrecks Jesus 1v1. That's just facts.
IDK, the christians build gods like a grade schooler:
My god built the ocean.
Oh yeah well mine built the earth, and the ocean is on the earth.
Hey you can’t do that, besides I have a second god and he made the sun.
I don’t need two gods mine is as powerful as all yours put together and he made the heavens and it has the sun in it.
THAT’S CHEATING! And I have another god, he made the stars!
Oh yeah well mine made everything including all the gods and he can count to infinity!
Oh yeah even the evil gods?
…..yeah but thats not his fault.
Is too!
Is not!
Is too!
Is not!
Is too!, Is too!, Is too!
Is not time infinitely!
For his human form, yes, but Holy Trinity-wise, I'm not so sure. Beyond 1v1, archangels tip any scales in JC's favor.
Are you also including the entire Hindu pantheon? Because I don't think the trinity has a chance in hell, archangels notwithstanding.
load more comments
(1 replies)
load more comments
(1 replies)
But Jesus never fights alone 😏 he's a dirty ass cheater.
load more comments
(4 replies)
Now I want to read a book that starts with the sentance:
"The war in heaven started with a spelling bee."
It’s called the boble
Could you use that in a sentance?
They just did
load more comments
(2 replies)
Also relevant, two people of the same religion praying for the same thing. The god fights themselves. Or flips a coin, free will remember.
Jim Carrey comes to mind in Bruce Almighty, when he starts to say yes to every prayer and thousands win the lottery.
Don’t they each win like ten cents or something?
Yes
I thought the god chose the person who had suffered more of the gods torture.
What god is that mouse?
It's not a god per se, rather the animal companion of Ganesh (Elephant god/ god of people, kinda like god Fufluns of Populonia). The mouse is like a ride of the god.
Since 2008 Ganesha only lost two times. I guess Jesus is past his prime. And the first loss wasn’t really a loss, since it was 8 first place winners with 7 kids of South Asian descent.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Scripps_National_Spelling_Bee_champions
I mean look at him! Jesus doesn't seem like he has much of a shot against that beast of a deity.
I adore this comic for some reason
My money is on the elephant!
I dunno, that balls kick was a hell of a headstart and could change the outcome
I'd buy that Street Fighter DLC pack.
This just made me think about Shin Megami Tensei. I think Messiah (the closest equivalent to Jesus) would probably win 1 on 1, but the whole Hindu pantheon would probably wear him down eventuality.
Edit for non-smt fans: SMT is Pokemon for religious and folk mythology. Lol
Interesting tidbit, the National spelling bee was created by Doug Cornette. The Father of loud mouth, racket waving, heel wrestling manager Jim Cornette
Which explains why he was such a word Smith and could talk a mile a minute while insulting the crowd
load more comments
(2 replies)
Now do it for two Christians.
There's no fucking way a human zombie pacifist Jew would be able to take on a 2-ton humanoid elephant god with six arms and wields weapons 1 v 1.
load more comments
(2 replies)
I would love for Marvel to make this movie.
I mean, the MCU is pretty clearly burnt out, and I wouldn't trust DC to make a movie worth watching.
load more comments
(4 replies)
view more: next ›