Beheading kings.
this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2024
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That's not cool man...
They said medieval, that is way too late.
I dunno, that was invented to make beheadings more humane...let's go back to an axe.
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Trebuchets, which btw are far superior to catapults.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords as a basis for a system of government.
Strange woman here, anyone knows where I can buy swords in bulk, preferably with a pond thrown in? It's for... a personal project.
Are we to believe that famous actress Margot Robbie doesn't have some sort of connection for bulk medieval weaponry?
I am shocked and dismayed.
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Our leaders fighting in the wars they start.
You wanted it... go fucking get it cowards.
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Guillotines.
That wasn't really a thing in medieval times. I'm afraid an axe will have to do.
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Inns, especially if they've got an enormous pot of perpetual stew, and people are giving out quests.
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Having most of the year off for festivals and holy days
Good news: take up subsistence farming, no healthcare, no electricity, and make everything yourself, and you too can have half the year "off".
Don't threaten me with a good time
I mean the reality was that the time "off" was spent farming their own land, taking care of animals, fixing the house and doing the insane number of household tasks that come with premodern living. Spend a few days just cooking in a medieval style, and you'll quickly realize it's a LOT of work.
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My non-joke answer is apprenticeship. Kids could actually learn how to do a valuable job rather than graduating from high school with almost no useful skills.
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Perpetual stew, good architecture, and no Twitter
Fucking castles, duh
Regicide.
The stockade is something we desperately need. Some people need to learn how other people see them. Driving 50mph in a living area, stockade. Making a lot of noise at 6 in the morning, believe it or not, stockade. Being a racist cunt, straight to the stockade.
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Winter
Cloaks would be cool. I know that's more of a fantasy aesthetic than a medieval one but they are cool enough that it shouldn't matter.
Medieval aesthetics also really had cloaks, but big detached hoods were more common.
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I have a cloak vendor bookmarked. I haven't pulled the trigger because I don't know if I wanna be the cloak guy, but dammit I want a cloak.
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Child labor.
Oh, waitβ¦
Dueling. I say we use it as an option to reply to a civil lawsuit. Able bodied adults only, no proxies, and if you refuse then you have to do a trial and they can weigh your refusal as evidence against you.
Swords only, no guns.
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Guillotines for kings
Weird ass slices in public parks everybody has to garden in. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open-field_system
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Kings, plagues, private armies (more late medieval and renaissance, but you get the idea), career military with hi-tech weapons tearing apart barely armed peasants. Idk, OP, seems like we got almost everything covered
Syphilis
Trump already brought that one back.
Trebuchets - the superior siege engine. (Disclaimer: probably not medieval)
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Magic of course.
Royalty and nobility taking part in actual on-the-ground warfare. I'd be curious if that would have any effect on military operations...
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