this post was submitted on 18 Oct 2024
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The Onion

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[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 32 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Screw debates, I want to see who makes the best ASMR video

[–] CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Vance couch fucking. Mics in the cushions.

Are you sure you want this?

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago

🎶 let's get it on... 🎶

[–] seahorse@midwest.social 11 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Trump can rub two hamburgers together.

[–] Swedneck@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 month ago

just him gently chanting "bing bing bong" on repeat

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

White noise is made of samples with uniformly random values. If you generate enough of it with true randomness, it will include an audio recording of the past 24 hours in Kamala Harris's life. (Of course, you're as likely to stumble upon it as on any other possible 24-hour audio.)

[–] switchboard_pete@fedia.io 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I'm Kamala Harris, and I approve this blessage"?! You stupid monkey!

[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I like that you perfectly transcribed her encrypted call with Biden but why is it interspersed with "snarky commentary by Ben Shapiro"?

[–] muntedcrocodile@lemm.ee 24 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Scary to think the election might come down to wich candidate has the better jre showing.

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 24 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I wanna see them both on hot ones

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Trump will melt by the 4th bottle

[–] Assman@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

Oops! All Da Bomb

[–] goferking0@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 month ago

I can't see him getting past the 2nd. But will it be better or worse than dj kahlids?

[–] paraphrand@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago

Translation for our East Asian friends:

[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Retrograde@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Was it tasty at least?

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 1 month ago

The Sleepy Joe vote!