this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Makeshift@sh.itjust.works 62 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Genuinely though, it would not surprise anymore. We have subscription based cars selling your info to insurance companies, retroactively ammended purchase experiences everywhere, and every dang app and website harvesting as much info on you as physically possible no matter how mundane.

Dick info reporting toilets would not at all catch me by surprise at this point.

[–] RogueBanana@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 month ago

Dick info reporting seems pointless but they can add an advert screen above the urinal (which is sadly becoming common) and track your eye movement to record engagement rates.

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[–] socialpankakemix@lemmy.blahaj.zone 56 points 1 month ago (4 children)

this is why I exclusively pee in the dumpster being dairy queen

[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 24 points 1 month ago (3 children)

A real man would do it in the trash can inside the dairy queen

[–] socialpankakemix@lemmy.blahaj.zone 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] RattlerSix@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Sorry, I shouldn't have assumed

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
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[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I pee on the dairy queen (with consent of course)

[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Why is the dumpster being dairy queen?

[–] slackassassin@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

Dumpster is obviously a dairy king.

[–] Jessica@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 month ago

Don't fast food restaurants usually have a camera pointed at their dumpster? XD

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

I find the Whataburger dumpsters are more roomy

[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 40 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

il_1588xN.1998833855_27ng-4090175647

That's why I invest in wireless, RFID resistant, anti-flash dick screening devices. Wake up sheeple!

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[–] mumblerfish@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Damn. They are automating penis inspection day? What are creeps to do now?

[–] saruwatarikooji@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

We're suffering... How do you expect me to feed my family when I have to compete with HAL here?

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[–] Avg@lemm.ee 26 points 1 month ago

Good luck, I encrypted my dick data.

[–] MrGerrit@feddit.nl 25 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"No data collected, subject not big enough to register. "

[–] trumpetmouth@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

glad I'm not alone here.

[–] niktemadur@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Dick pics or it didn't happen!

[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

What does matter is length times diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared.

[–] davidagain@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I have so many questions. Are you measuring angle from the vertical or the horizontal? Whereabouts should I be placing the ruler for that tangent? Are we using metric or imperial units? If metric, is it square centimetres or kilograms per cm, and if it's imperial, is it square inches or ounces per inch per square degree?

[–] IMNOTCRAZYINSTITUTION@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

real shit, these things are mechanical turks. they really are cameras that are live streaming to centers in third world countries. when the poorly paid operator sees you're done, he sends the flush signal to the toilet. if you've ever been in a bathroom where the "sensor is broken" and it seems to flush at random, it's because they just keep flushing it periodically if they can't get a visual. real truth

[–] werefreeatlast@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

We were just training AI flushers this whole time?

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 16 points 1 month ago (3 children)

34x28x16 @ 400 p.s.i. is that enough information for you?

[–] capt_wolf@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Sorry, but no, you forgot duration it took to void, stream color, taste, smell, accuracy, flow consistency, body hair grooming, presence and degree of curvature, and overall hygiene. We've gone ahead and shared your supplied data with our 1869 advertising and heathcare partners. Thank you for opting in! We will continue to collect data at all of our established locations and now through your personal cell phone! Have a nice day!

[–] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago

400 psi? Damn you could piss the paint off your house with that thing

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] kamen@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

All is fine, but I'm still curious: how many do you have?

[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

at least one. at most nine.

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Jokes on them. They're gonna need a longer lens.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago

(awkwardly long zooming noises)

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 11 points 1 month ago

My pp information is public, Im not hiding anything - what are you people hiding??

[–] YakTrimmer@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 points 1 month ago

I care a lot about my prickvacy!

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

LMAO, jokes on them not going to be able to see mine without a microscope.

[–] stupidcasey@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How else would we keep the girls out of the mens room? I personally am willing to give up a little privacy if it means protection from A foreign government, besides you don’t have anything to worry about as long as you have a dick, and to those arguing that those of us with smaller than average members might get thrown in prison unjustly I say just grow a bigger slong, Besides are people with small penis really men? I mean yeah technically it’s on there birth certificate but come on.

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Small penises are a lifestyle choice

[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 6 points 1 month ago

Error: Please make sure your junk fills up the entire target area for accurate data collection.

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (2 children)

fwiw if it dont autoflush just press the smaller black dot

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

My dick won't reach that high

[–] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

sounds like a personal problem

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 2 points 1 month ago

Skill issue

[–] tpihkal@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

How does no one I work with understand this?

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 month ago

Jokes on them, my dick information is already all over the web!

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 month ago

They just forgot the cookie banner

[–] Pika@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 month ago

ooo so that's why they never seem to work, makes so much sense now! /j

[–] MrFloppy@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

"Not looking, not looking at your penis at all. " ... "So sorry about your penis." [Little Britain]

[–] JoShmoe@ani.social 2 points 1 month ago

The only person that has the right to know what my pp burns like is me!

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