this post was submitted on 24 Sep 2024
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Programmer Humor

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[–] joshcodes@programming.dev 56 points 1 week ago

Run it in your head, find the edge cases yourself, fix the bug... weakling.

Or do what I do in real life which is patch in new bugs and even a security flaw or two.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago (2 children)

the energy of a chaotic neutral?
"maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but it'll be FUN"

or chaotic evil?
"naw. fuck y'all's weekend.

[–] Psaldorn@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Merging failing tests so everybody else has failing tests and wastes time figuring out why.

Nothing neutral here

[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I haven’t played DnD in like 20 years. Is “Chaotic Dickhead” an alignment now?

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 week ago

That's basically just chaotic neutral

[–] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

"maybe it'll work, maybe it won't, but it'll be FUN"

Flashback to that Tom Cruise Scientology interview 🤣:

It really is ... Fun.

[–] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

On a scale of one to translunar orbit, how freaking high was he?

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago
[–] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tests are just booby traps for the other engineers so they don't break your code by mistake.

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Its funny cause its true. I often design tests to be "if a case/enum value is added this test will explode and tell them to add code here"

[–] silasmariner@programming.dev 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

This is why I like strong type systems with exhaustivity checks

[–] DacoTaco@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Saaaaame. But sometimes even strongly typed stuff wont break on compilation time

[–] silasmariner@programming.dev 1 points 1 week ago

'spose that's true enough

[–] xep@fedia.io 33 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Real programmers test in production.

[–] Andromxda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 64 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] jaybone@lemmy.world 38 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They were under a lot of pressure.

[–] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 1 week ago (1 children)

They were under a lot of pressure.

It was sink or swim.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 week ago

No time to cave in

[–] Boxscape@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

You mean like this?

Or like this?

What does that mean, 'To play us out'?

[–] Andromxda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] onlinepersona@programming.dev 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Andromxda@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 1 week ago

AMERICA 🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🦅🦅🦅🦅❗❕❕🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔊🔊🔊🔊🇺🇲🦅🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🦅🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔🍔 FREEDOM 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🔊🔊🔊🔊🔥🔥🔥🔥🥶🥶🥶🥶🥵🥵🥵🥵🦅🦅🦅🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🦅🦅🇺🇲❗🇺🇲🇺🇲❗🦅❗🦅❗❕❗❕❕❗❕❕❗🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🇺🇲🗣️🗣️🗣️🔊🔊🔊🔥🔥🔥🔥 DELIVERING DEMOCRACY TO THE DESERT 🦅🦅🦅🦅❗🔊❗❗❗🔥🇺🇲🇺🇲🔥❗❕🔊✈️✈️✈️✈️✈️💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣☢️☢️☢️☢️☢️💥💥💥💥💥🦅🇺🇲🦅🇺🇲🔥🔥🔥🥶🥶🥶🥵🥵🥵🦅🦅🦅🇺🇲🇺🇲

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 16 points 1 week ago

Users will test, don't waste your energy.

[–] MisterFrog@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago (1 children)

While I know that these days, bugs in code can cause real-world harm (personal info leaks, superannuation records lost, lol google), I find it humorous to think of the equivalent, even worse outcomes in my discipline (chemical/process engineering).

"Didn't do any checks, fuck it, I know this calculation is fire 🔥"

Later: 🔥🔥💥

[–] mitchty@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 week ago

It’s more: I have routed a few pipes in our test system and it’s now spitting out water known to be contaminated but now should have some extra sprinkles in so it’s fine.

What I’m saying is it’s even worse than didn’t do any checks. It’s willfully ignoring existing checks intentionally.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 21 points 1 week ago

tests are for confirming your code STILL works if someone ever changes something

[–] Phen@lemmy.eco.br 20 points 1 week ago

Oh I trust my code, but I don't trust my coworkers not to break something on the very next commit.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I get a small amount of joy from clicking the "request changes" button and blocking some doofus from merging lazy untested code.

[–] shasta@lemm.ee 4 points 1 week ago

I love going into a PR with 3 approvals already and shitting all over it

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 13 points 1 week ago

I physically reacted to this post with a combination of disgust, anger, and fear. Do tests. All of the tests. Randomize the order in which your tests run. Cover all branches.

[–] hollyberries@programming.dev 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Users are the acceptance testers.

[–] Kissaki@programming.dev 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

It baffles me when people use flex layout when it's clearly visually a grid layout. Nothing here is flexing with varying element sizes and auto-fill-wrap-break of items.

A colleague of mine prefers flex too. But to me, grid is so much more intuitive and simple.

https://css-tricks.com/quick-whats-the-difference-between-flexbox-and-grid/

[–] hollyberries@programming.dev 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Tbh I'm not a web person (more of a backend person) and don't know the recommended practices. display: grid; is a good friend of mine xD

[–] Kissaki@programming.dev 2 points 1 week ago

I think using display: grid; as your default is the better default, so you're all set. :)

[–] morrowind@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why do you need either? Just throw the both in the html

[–] tiredofsametab@fedia.io 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

People can pull from my cold, dead hands.

(though I'm usually only using it to display some status just for me and not for external consumption; the UI side can have a JSON if it ever comes to that).

I used to be a full-stack dev, but I've been pure backend for so long now, everything I knew is outdated or deprecated.

[–] kjaeselrek@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago

everything I knew is outdated or deprecated

Given the way the frontend world seems to work, this means you’ve been backend-only for at least a week lol

[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

Weak code lacks tests

Alt: if strength relies on unity I need to switch to game dev

[–] fibojoly@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

"Tester, c'est douter"

[–] velvetThunder@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 week ago

You can't trust others to not break your wonderful code. Write tests for the regression.

[–] off_brand_@beehaw.org 2 points 1 week ago

Just wow bug free code y'all smh