this post was submitted on 13 Sep 2024
354 points (91.7% liked)

Asklemmy

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Edit: Wow, this really blew up. Thanks for the updoots, kind strangers.

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[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 184 points 2 months ago (11 children)
[–] frank@sopuli.xyz 151 points 2 months ago

Wow, really well said. Extremely important that everyone reads this info above

Edit: thanks for the gold, kind stranger

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 61 points 2 months ago (4 children)
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[–] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 49 points 2 months ago

I don't have real money, but you deserve this ⭐

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[–] BlueLineBae@midwest.social 144 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] GingeyBook@lemm.ee 132 points 2 months ago (12 children)

I have a 14 year old device with a very obscure problem, does anyone have a solution for this?

[–] GingeyBook@lemm.ee 166 points 2 months ago (3 children)

This comment has been edited in protest to reddit's decision to bully 3rd party apps into closure. If you want to do the same, you can find instructions here: http://notepad.link/share/TAk4RNJIb3vmhROVfGPV

[–] GingeyBook@lemm.ee 122 points 2 months ago

This worked perfectly, thanks!

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 53 points 2 months ago

Oh my gosh thank you! This has been bothering me for ages. This is the only solution I found that actually works.

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[–] SeaJ@lemm.ee 54 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I have this problem too!

Edit: Nevermind. Fixed it.

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[–] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 123 points 2 months ago (4 children)
[–] k_rol@lemmy.ca 63 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Hit Facebook, gym up and delete the lawyer

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[–] tuckerm@supermeter.social 120 points 2 months ago (2 children)

You post was automatically removed for not following the requirements listed in our wiki. Please find the wiki yourself because it is not linked anywhere. In particular, your post does not meet the following requirements:

  • Section 1, paragraph 3, subsection B
  • Section 18, paragraph 5, subsection AAB
  • Section 35, paragraph 1: uploading a photo* with timestamp†

* see approved photo hosts

† see ISO 8601

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[–] LambdaRX@sh.itjust.works 103 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Sexy sexitors of sexxit, how do you sexily sex sex?

[–] xmunk@sh.itjust.works 32 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Do you have a good sourdough recipe?

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[–] zachimusprime44@lemmy.world 100 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Sorry, your post was removed because your account doesn’t meet the requirements.

Your account must be at least 1 month old and have at least 10 karma.

Thanks.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[–] GrammarPolice@lemmy.world 39 points 2 months ago
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[–] KellysNokia@lemmy.world 86 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (8 children)

I came here to say this but boy, that escalated quickly so to the top with you! Lost it at 'This is why we can't have nice things' and then my faith in humanity was restored, my mind blown, and manly tears were shed. Well said. As a 'murican, I can confirm this gem has just won the internet and is doing it right. Just sayin', I know that feel, bro, and while that was a risky click, this post was a 9/10, would read again. I see what you did there and it feels good man. You're doing God's work, son. I laughed way harder than I should have at your list that seems legit and totally nailed it. You - I like you. You magnificent bastard; you, sir, are so brave, a gentleman and a scholar, and seeing how you are a redditor for 4 years, this checks out, so I'll allow it. I regret that I only have one upvote to give for this cool story, bro.

CTRL+F "about tree fiddy" was not disappointed.

Wait, why do I have you tagged as "NOPE NOPE NOPE"? Nice try, you monster. What did I just read? Dafuq? I read that as "YOU HAD ONE JOB". I can't fap to this. No true scotsman could see that this relevant XKCD was bad, and you should feel bad. You must be new to reddit, so I'll see your cakeday and raise you a karma train. One does not simply rustle my jimmies, not even once. This stahp gave me cancer for science, so that's enough internet for me today. 2/10, would not bang. What is this I don't even know how is this wtf? Circlejerk must be leaking. This will get buried but brace yourselves, some men want to watch the world burn right in the feels. When you see it, they'll KILL IT WITH FIRE! But this has nothing to do with atheism. Lawyer up, delete facebook, hit the gym, and SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY, said no one ever, so you wouldn't download a strawman. Damn onions, you scary like a BOSS. whoosh.

Since rule #1 is 'be attractive', I'll just leave this here: This is my [f]irst post, be gentle. I have the weirdest boner right now, so I'll be in my bunk with dat ass. Oh, you! ...now KISS!!! I know you should never stick your dick in crazy, but DM;HS.

...this kills the redditor.

OP will surely deliver. In the meantime, I'll show myself out.

Directed by M. Night Shamallama

edit: accidentally a word

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[–] Blackout@fedia.io 70 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Please don't ask me how I managed to take this picture... http://i.imgur.com/TAXdG.jpg

[–] GingeyBook@lemm.ee 41 points 2 months ago (2 children)

How did you manage to take this picture?

[–] Blackout@fedia.io 48 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world 68 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I also choose this man's dead wife.

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[–] xelar@lemmy.ml 63 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] josie@vegantheoryclub.org 57 points 2 months ago

I'm a leftist but I think insert fascist opinion here

[–] DavidDoesLemmy@aussie.zone 53 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Here's a story told entirely from my point of view, edited to make me look good. Am I the asshole?

[–] saigot@lemmy.ca 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

NTA your house your rules.

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[–] Dungrad 53 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Here have this award. πŸ‘οΈβ€πŸ—¨οΈ

[–] Maerman@lemmy.ml 45 points 2 months ago

Thanks for the stranger, kind gold.

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[–] Fisch@discuss.tchncs.de 52 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Would have upvoted but it was at 69

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 48 points 2 months ago (5 children)
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[–] calabast@lemm.ee 48 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Ahh, the ole reddit switcharoo

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[–] Linkerbaan@lemmy.world 47 points 2 months ago (7 children)

This is a repost from half a year ago OP is a karma farming bot

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[–] ilinamorato@lemmy.world 46 points 2 months ago (3 children)
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[–] Underwaterbob@lemm.ee 44 points 2 months ago

I too choose this guy's dead wife.

[–] ettyblatant@lemmy.world 42 points 2 months ago (3 children)
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[–] trk@aussie.zone 41 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

... And my axe!

Edit: I said the funny line, updoots to the just please

[–] tektite@slrpnk.net 39 points 2 months ago (7 children)

You've been banned from r/Pyongyang

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[–] svamp@lemmy.ml 38 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] fubarx@lemmy.ml 38 points 2 months ago

RemindMe! 3y β€œreply to this thread”.

[–] MECHAGIC@lemmy.world 37 points 2 months ago (6 children)
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[–] EvilBit@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Look, I think it’s important to state here that while you can often offer prompts to strangers with no ill effect, 7% of strangers are DEATHLY ALLERGIC to prompts. I know it’s fun to give your strangers prompts sometimes, but I urge you all NOT to give prompts to strangers or you run the very real risk of harming them seriously.

Signed, A strangerologist

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[–] rustyfish@lemmy.world 33 points 2 months ago (1 children)
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[–] original_reader@lemm.ee 33 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Not all heroes wear capes.

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[–] Aeri@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago (2 children)

YOUR POST HAS BEEN REMOVED

Your post has been removed for violating Rule 3.14159: All posts must adhere to the Pythagorean Theorem, ensuring that the square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides. Failure to comply with this fundamental geometric principle will result in immediate banishment from our hallowed domain.

Please be advised that this is a strict enforcement of our community guidelines. As a consequence of your transgression, your post has been removed, and you have been permanently banned from participating in our discussions.

We trust that you will heed this warning and strive to uphold the integrity of our community in the future. May your digital journey be filled with enlightenment and adherence to the Pythagorean Theorem.”

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[–] mub@lemmy.ml 30 points 2 months ago (3 children)
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