this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] BodilessGaze@sh.itjust.works 101 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I can't think of any possible problem with this. It's flawless. Kudos to anon for discovering such a bulletproof plan.

[–] yokonzo@lemmy.world 34 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Except if the original idea of the location of hell ( the demons home) applies. In which case OP better get off world quickly or else he's trapped with a demon

[–] troglodytis@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

And the gold market collapsing making the bars worthless. Or if that got figured out, the life cycle of the oceans collapsing killing most life on earth.

But hey, salt rings. So pretty neat

[–] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 86 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

The human race then perishes from starvation shortly after due to no one wanting to eat bland salt free food

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 36 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

There's plenty of non-ocean salt, it's just sea salt is stupidly easy to get

[–] Tja@programming.dev 3 points 2 weeks ago

.. ifyou have access to the sea.

Landlocked countries (and some non landlocked) have salt mines.

And stupidly delicious.

[–] Rusty@lemmy.ca 29 points 2 weeks ago

Only British people will survive.

[–] queermunist@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Ah, but our spirits are bound to Earth by the salt, so the human race just becomes a ghost race.

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago

Life in the oceans dies. Life on land, which relies on life in the ocean, mostly dies. Demon gets you soon enough anyway

[–] BallsandBayonets@lemmings.world 51 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Get the gold, use a few flakes from one of the gold bars to fill a hula hoop with salt, spend the other trillions of dollars on normal rich villain shit.

[–] wiccan2@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This reminds me of that scene in one of the Pirates of the Carribbean movies where Davey Jones has to stand in a bucket of water to go on land for a meeting.

[–] Restaldt@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago

Its extra funny because they are on a beach.... surrounded by water

[–] TIN@feddit.uk 12 points 2 weeks ago

For a while I thought you were talking about the small hoop crisps that we get in the UK and I couldn't work out why that would help.

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

And get great abs whilst doing it

Plot twist, you have to keep the hula hoop up or the demon can get you, because dropping the hoop would inevitably create a break in the salt somewhere.

[–] Annoyed_Crabby@monyet.cc 38 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Isn't demon come from earth core and angel from outerspace? Now angel can't save anon.

[–] ZoopZeZoop@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

Salt doesn't stop angels, according to the lore.

[–] Leviathan@lemmy.world 32 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm sorry, do we assume that demons are going off-planet?

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 29 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Are we assuming demons are men?

[–] Saledovil@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What if you're dealing with a demon who isn't weak to salt? What if the rules on salt circles require the salt to be on the ground, so a salt ring in orbit does nothing? What if the salt ring doesn't meet the salt density requirement to ward off demons? What if the demon never leaves earth, instead hanging out at a coffee shop, and thus the demon doesn't have to cross the salt circle to get to you? What if the demon simply grabs your soul after you die?

[–] troglodytis@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Oh, then you're fucked, but still, salt rings. So pretty neat

[–] notsofunnycomment@mander.xyz 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Plus, for some time we will be able to drink from the oceans.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Dude, fish fuck in there. ☞ó ͜つò☞

[–] yogurtwrong@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

well, rich people already eat fish cum might as well make it affordable

I see no downsides.

[–] _Sprite@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

Anon gets snatched by the ankles beneath the earth's crust and gets jumped for eternity

[–] echodot@feddit.uk 14 points 2 weeks ago

That ring is orientated incorrectly. Other than that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this idea. I'm sure all the sea life can survive having the salt removed from its environment I'm sure it's not necessary to its survival.

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemm.ee 8 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Anon salt-blocks themselves from getting that hot demonussy

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

And take out every satellite that’s orbiting Earth and kill everyone on the ISS.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

The only "demons" salt repels are the bacteria and fungi that want to eat your food and make it rot because our ancestors didn't know what was going on to make food rot and assumed evil spirits. Salt preserves food, thus must be magic. And then the "confirmation" came because anyone who used a salt ring wasn't attacked by evil spirits, so it must really work!

[–] atocci@lemmy.world 2 points 2 weeks ago

Project West Ford 2