this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
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me_irl

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[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 151 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Someone wrote a whole treatise on how to be more introverted, but they didn't publish it anywhere.

[–] Crowfiend@lemmy.world 9 points 4 months ago

You had me in the first half, ngl. Then you revealed the second half and I angry laughed at myself. Good job. πŸ‘

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 130 points 4 months ago (3 children)

how to be more social: learn how to pretend to enjoy pointless small talk and conversations around topics you couldn't give less of a flying fuck about

/savedyouaclick

[–] peto@lemm.ee 60 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

[–] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 25 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

What's Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?

[–] goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 4 months ago

The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in...

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 18 points 4 months ago (1 children)

i did! and i'm excited to talk about it, hopefully for the next hour or two!

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 4 months ago (2 children)

How about that local generic sports team? They sure did good and/or bad.

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 7 points 4 months ago

i SOOOO fucking care about that shit!!!!

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 6 points 4 months ago

Are you enduring a slight difficulty but have compassionately reframed and developed a healthy plan to address it?

[–] PhatInferno@midwest.social 2 points 4 months ago

Need to rewatch this so bad 😭

[–] Matriks404@lemmy.world 11 points 4 months ago

You can always try to find friends who like same stuff as you, and spend some time together.

As an example: I am an introvert, but I recently started to go to Polish-Russian Language Exchange club and I am planning to go to English speaking club as well. But I guess learning languages as a hobby is a bit of cheating πŸ˜€

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 95 points 4 months ago (1 children)

How to be comfortable with silence so you don't make others uncomfortable with noise.

[–] 4lan@lemmy.world 15 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Sometimes I have to tell one of my friends who has ADD that the lack of breaks in talking pushes my anxiety to the edge. I swear he doesn't breathe sometimes lol

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Way to stand up for yourself in a compassionate way that helps maintain the relationship!

[–] 4lan@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

I still feel guilty because then they feel annoying. self-awareness can be uncomfortable, but ultimately good

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 70 points 4 months ago (1 children)

WAIT - Why am I talking?

For the people who can't shut up during meetings when they don't have anything useful to add.

[–] silasmariner@programming.dev 15 points 4 months ago (2 children)

I have actually said that exact phrase out loud on occasion. I used to be really quite introvert but then I found my group and I'm pretty extrovert with them! Sometimes so much so that I realise I've been 'holding forth' and should probably shut up and let everyone else have a go.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 6 points 4 months ago

I did this the other night on discord when someone brought up politics. Girlfriend had to step in and tell me to shut up.

Normally I'm the quietest one on VC πŸ˜‚

[–] SpacetimeMachine@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

I've been going to therapy after realizing I'm somewhat autistic and had a revelation that for all the groups I've been in where I felt extroverted the other people were also neurodivergent. It feels awesome to find a group that you really jive with!

[–] heavy@sh.itjust.works 32 points 4 months ago (1 children)

The introverted extroverted propaganda is a scam, people are complex and aren't one way all the time.

[–] TheDarksteel94@sopuli.xyz 35 points 4 months ago (1 children)

It's not about being one way all the time, it's about how people recharge.

[–] heavy@sh.itjust.works 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Nobody recharges by being around groups of people all the time though. Everyone needs a break, even from family and close friends.

Anecdotally, I'm "extroverted" but it still takes energy to interact with people.

[–] Crowfiend@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

I originally upvoted dark whatever instead of you. Coming back 2hr later I changed my votes because (metaphorically) as you said, it's not black or white, it's shades of gray.

In my youth I often thought of myself as an introvert, because, "I just don't like people." As I've grown I've come to realize that I'm perfectly sociable in the right crowd.

To that end, I've come to see myself as an introverted extrovert, it vice versa, because idk proper terms. But I'm much more talkative (for better or worse) around people I identify with, whereas if I were alone around a group of new people, I shut down and retreat to my safe corner.

People are very multifaceted individually and it's such a strange oxymoron that "there is no true ideal" is an objective fact, no matter how much we wish it to be so.

Unfortunately, until people can (on whole) see both positives and negatives per individual person/situation, and not just the dogma attached to each piece, we may never overcome this roadblock...

[–] gdog05@lemmy.world 32 points 4 months ago (1 children)

There is a very good book on exactly this topic. "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain

I wish it were mandatory for anyone in a managerial position to read this.

[–] Crowfiend@lemmy.world 4 points 4 months ago

They say, "don't judge a book by its cover!" yet I'm compelled to tell myself, I'm enthralled over the Title, not the cover.

[–] unreachable@lemmy.world 31 points 4 months ago
[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 17 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I bet more people that are introverts would rather be extroverts than the opposite. People that are extroverts probably love that about themselves.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 19 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

I love being an introvert. Most* of my friends are also introverts, and we generally find extroverts awkward and difficult to interact with. I'd love to give them tips on how to better relate to introverts.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 7 points 4 months ago (2 children)

LIES!!! Introverts may not have friends! You, sir/madam are a LIAR!!!!

[–] Zink@programming.dev 8 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I thought it was ok for us to hang out together as long as it’s in a cave.

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[–] thefrankring@lemmy.world 13 points 4 months ago

Both introverts and extroverts are valuable in their own ways. They both bring unique qualities.

Unfortunately, many societies tend to prefer extroverts because they tend to be more social, likeable, relatable and understandable.

Introverts can be seen as weird and anti-social.

That being said, you should be able to embody all qualities in a balanced way.

[–] Allonzee@lemmy.world 10 points 4 months ago
[–] aaaaace@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 4 months ago

Simple breath meditation should be taught in public achools from an early age. It is a useful and valuable human skill that could serve anyone who practices it.

Instead we have rote religion and caffeine to enervate for eventual corporate productivity.

Society rewards the enervated but depends upon the socially reticent thinkers.

[–] itsnicodegallo@lemm.ee 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I believe they just described meditation? It's a practice where you quietly reflect by yourself. It's not big yet or anything. There might be an app about it. Idk. Hopefully it catches on.

[–] velvetThunder@lemmy.zip 10 points 4 months ago (3 children)

Well the shared article and the tweet are referring to social situations. But I like the thought of extroverts mediating at the party, dinner table or waiting room.

[–] vulgarcynic@sh.itjust.works 5 points 4 months ago

As an extrovert that is about to go to a wedding reception, I'm just going to start vibing out and meditating in the middle of the dance floor. (As opposed to trying to get everyone to take shots and come join the party like I usually do) I will report back with results.

[–] itsnicodegallo@lemm.ee 1 points 4 months ago

I'm trying to imagine a social situation where everybody is being quiet and reflective instead of talking and responding like the tweet is suggesting. My mind just keeps manifesting a prayer circle or something. πŸ˜…

Or somebody telling a story, and it going like:

"And it turned out it was a freaking SHARK!"

"...Hm..."

"Uh... Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just... Thinking about it..."

"😦 All right."

[–] papertowels@lemmy.one 1 points 4 months ago

My understanding of extroversion and introversion is that they're primarily dictated by "what gives you energy" - in social situations, extroverts get energy, while in isolated situations introverts gain energy.

The article refers to introverts out of their environment, so it makes sense that tips about being better at introversion center around when extroverts are out of their environment, i.e. by themselves. Meditation for extroverts would 100% satisfy that.

[–] ThePJN@sopuli.xyz 5 points 4 months ago

β€œYou’re awfully loud over there. You haven’t tried to just let the world be all night.”

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 4 points 4 months ago

That's not how society works. Even though it would be a better world.

[–] WhyFlip@lemmy.world 3 points 4 months ago

Because extroverts can't be quiet and reflect. Dumb.

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