this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2024
1274 points (98.9% liked)

me_irl

4499 readers
278 users here now

All posts need to have the same title: me_irl it is allowed to use an emoji instead of the underscore _

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 151 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Someone wrote a whole treatise on how to be more introverted, but they didn't publish it anywhere.

[–] Crowfiend@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

You had me in the first half, ngl. Then you revealed the second half and I angry laughed at myself. Good job. πŸ‘

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 129 points 1 month ago (3 children)

how to be more social: learn how to pretend to enjoy pointless small talk and conversations around topics you couldn't give less of a flying fuck about

/savedyouaclick

[–] peto@lemm.ee 60 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

[–] iAmTheTot@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

What's Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?

[–] goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 1 month ago

The thing about Arsenal is they always try to walk it in...

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 month ago (1 children)

i did! and i'm excited to talk about it, hopefully for the next hour or two!

[–] EldritchFeminity@lemmy.blahaj.zone 19 points 1 month ago (2 children)

How about that local generic sports team? They sure did good and/or bad.

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago

i SOOOO fucking care about that shit!!!!

Are you enduring a slight difficulty but have compassionately reframed and developed a healthy plan to address it?

[–] PhatInferno@midwest.social 2 points 1 month ago

Need to rewatch this so bad 😭

[–] Matriks404@lemmy.world 11 points 1 month ago

You can always try to find friends who like same stuff as you, and spend some time together.

As an example: I am an introvert, but I recently started to go to Polish-Russian Language Exchange club and I am planning to go to English speaking club as well. But I guess learning languages as a hobby is a bit of cheating πŸ˜€

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 94 points 1 month ago (1 children)

How to be comfortable with silence so you don't make others uncomfortable with noise.

[–] 4lan@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sometimes I have to tell one of my friends who has ADD that the lack of breaks in talking pushes my anxiety to the edge. I swear he doesn't breathe sometimes lol

[–] BackOnMyBS@lemmy.autism.place 2 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Way to stand up for yourself in a compassionate way that helps maintain the relationship!

[–] 4lan@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I still feel guilty because then they feel annoying. self-awareness can be uncomfortable, but ultimately good

[–] blanketswithsmallpox@lemmy.world 70 points 1 month ago (1 children)

WAIT - Why am I talking?

For the people who can't shut up during meetings when they don't have anything useful to add.

[–] silasmariner@programming.dev 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

I have actually said that exact phrase out loud on occasion. I used to be really quite introvert but then I found my group and I'm pretty extrovert with them! Sometimes so much so that I realise I've been 'holding forth' and should probably shut up and let everyone else have a go.

[–] IndiBrony@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I did this the other night on discord when someone brought up politics. Girlfriend had to step in and tell me to shut up.

Normally I'm the quietest one on VC πŸ˜‚

[–] SpacetimeMachine@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I've been going to therapy after realizing I'm somewhat autistic and had a revelation that for all the groups I've been in where I felt extroverted the other people were also neurodivergent. It feels awesome to find a group that you really jive with!

[–] heavy@sh.itjust.works 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The introverted extroverted propaganda is a scam, people are complex and aren't one way all the time.

[–] TheDarksteel94@sopuli.xyz 35 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's not about being one way all the time, it's about how people recharge.

[–] heavy@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Nobody recharges by being around groups of people all the time though. Everyone needs a break, even from family and close friends.

Anecdotally, I'm "extroverted" but it still takes energy to interact with people.

[–] Crowfiend@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

I originally upvoted dark whatever instead of you. Coming back 2hr later I changed my votes because (metaphorically) as you said, it's not black or white, it's shades of gray.

In my youth I often thought of myself as an introvert, because, "I just don't like people." As I've grown I've come to realize that I'm perfectly sociable in the right crowd.

To that end, I've come to see myself as an introverted extrovert, it vice versa, because idk proper terms. But I'm much more talkative (for better or worse) around people I identify with, whereas if I were alone around a group of new people, I shut down and retreat to my safe corner.

People are very multifaceted individually and it's such a strange oxymoron that "there is no true ideal" is an objective fact, no matter how much we wish it to be so.

Unfortunately, until people can (on whole) see both positives and negatives per individual person/situation, and not just the dogma attached to each piece, we may never overcome this roadblock...

[–] gdog05@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago (1 children)

There is a very good book on exactly this topic. "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain

I wish it were mandatory for anyone in a managerial position to read this.

[–] Crowfiend@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

They say, "don't judge a book by its cover!" yet I'm compelled to tell myself, I'm enthralled over the Title, not the cover.

[–] unreachable@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago
[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I bet more people that are introverts would rather be extroverts than the opposite. People that are extroverts probably love that about themselves.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I love being an introvert. Most* of my friends are also introverts, and we generally find extroverts awkward and difficult to interact with. I'd love to give them tips on how to better relate to introverts.

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

LIES!!! Introverts may not have friends! You, sir/madam are a LIAR!!!!

[–] Zink@programming.dev 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I thought it was ok for us to hang out together as long as it’s in a cave.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] thefrankring@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Both introverts and extroverts are valuable in their own ways. They both bring unique qualities.

Unfortunately, many societies tend to prefer extroverts because they tend to be more social, likeable, relatable and understandable.

Introverts can be seen as weird and anti-social.

That being said, you should be able to embody all qualities in a balanced way.

[–] Allonzee@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago
[–] aaaaace@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago

Simple breath meditation should be taught in public achools from an early age. It is a useful and valuable human skill that could serve anyone who practices it.

Instead we have rote religion and caffeine to enervate for eventual corporate productivity.

Society rewards the enervated but depends upon the socially reticent thinkers.

[–] itsnicodegallo@lemm.ee 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I believe they just described meditation? It's a practice where you quietly reflect by yourself. It's not big yet or anything. There might be an app about it. Idk. Hopefully it catches on.

[–] velvetThunder@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Well the shared article and the tweet are referring to social situations. But I like the thought of extroverts mediating at the party, dinner table or waiting room.

[–] vulgarcynic@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

As an extrovert that is about to go to a wedding reception, I'm just going to start vibing out and meditating in the middle of the dance floor. (As opposed to trying to get everyone to take shots and come join the party like I usually do) I will report back with results.

[–] itsnicodegallo@lemm.ee 1 points 1 month ago

I'm trying to imagine a social situation where everybody is being quiet and reflective instead of talking and responding like the tweet is suggesting. My mind just keeps manifesting a prayer circle or something. πŸ˜…

Or somebody telling a story, and it going like:

"And it turned out it was a freaking SHARK!"

"...Hm..."

"Uh... Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm just... Thinking about it..."

"😦 All right."

[–] papertowels@lemmy.one 1 points 1 month ago

My understanding of extroversion and introversion is that they're primarily dictated by "what gives you energy" - in social situations, extroverts get energy, while in isolated situations introverts gain energy.

The article refers to introverts out of their environment, so it makes sense that tips about being better at introversion center around when extroverts are out of their environment, i.e. by themselves. Meditation for extroverts would 100% satisfy that.

[–] ThePJN@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 month ago

β€œYou’re awfully loud over there. You haven’t tried to just let the world be all night.”

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 4 points 1 month ago

That's not how society works. Even though it would be a better world.

[–] WhyFlip@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

Because extroverts can't be quiet and reflect. Dumb.

load more comments
view more: next β€Ί