this post was submitted on 04 Nov 2023
0 points (NaN% liked)

Transfem

3334 readers
32 users here now

A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]

Some helpful links:

Support Hotlines:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
ada@lemmy.blahaj.zone
0
My first Appointment went really well (feddit.de)
submitted 10 months ago by DmMacniel@feddit.de to c/mtf@lemmy.blahaj.zone
10 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

So some other girls in this community mentioned that they had their first appointments regarding transgender questions and such, and so did I.

To preface this, I'm from Germany, so don't take any advice from this post please as every journey is different and is dependent on where you life, what healthcare options you have and such.

So, I went to an independent, donation based, center which deals about everything LGBTQ+. First it was pretty easy, going up to the door looking for the ringer, and then I suddenly stop in my motion. I hesitated and asked myself: "Am I really ready for this, to question everything?" My finger pressed the ringer and the Door swung open.

A super cheery woman was waiting for me and showed me the room where we would get to know each other and had to leave me alone for a bit as she had to deal with something else first (it was also 10 minutes before the actual appointment, I like being too early than being too late).

Then we talked. About all of my immediate concerns regarding transitioning, not only socially and medically, but political and work related as well.

I didn't know that public healthcare in Germany can cover so many things (when you have a diagnosed ICD-10 F64.0 that is). From HRT, to surgery to hair removal, vocal-chord surgery...

Pretty amazing. Buuuuut, getting that diagnose is a pain in the butt, even though I'm in the third-biggest city. There are just too few specialized therapists and the queue times can be years long. But that's not where it ends, I have to go through at least 5 sessions, 50 minutes each. And then I can get the diagnosis to get my medical journey started. Firstly, I want to go on HRT, getting those hormones and the body changes; they sound super promising. I'm not certain yet about the steps after that. But changing my legal name will, currently as a new law is in the making, take legal council, examination and some months to think it over, and then an appointment at court. WTF? The new law can't come soon enough.

So yeah. It has been good talking to a sister regarding those questions and my concerns, as the political climate isn't looking spiffy right now, and it only gets worse.

In any case, if you have questions or need help regarding trans* please seek out your local community as they can be really helpful and supportive!

top 10 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) (1 children)

Wow that sucks that you have to wait so long. Here in the US I only had to wait a little over a month and then I got gender dysphoria put on my medical record at the first appointment however it cost almost $800 but insurance brought it down to around $400. I still have to wait 8 more months and then see two therapists and prove my transness to them before I can get surgeries that will cost tens of thousands. I don't know if I'd rather have to wait several years but not have to pay as much or have to forgo being able to afford to buy a house lol. At least we got this community to support each other. Feel free to voice your concerns here too!

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.de 0 points 10 months ago

Yeah true... its great that the public Healthcare providers have to pay for the proceedings, but it sucks that it takes a while to get a therapist and then it takes several strenuous sessions where I have to mind strip... either way it sucks.

At least we got this community to support each other. Feel free to voice your concerns here too!

yeah I have never been happier to have found such lovely community like the blahaj zone, even though I'm from a different instance entirely XD

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago (3 children)

I hang around places like this because I'm about totally ignorant of trans issues.

Can I ask how old you are? Years of wait time seems critical when it's seemingly best to transition ASAP during/after puberty.

And it seems sane, to me, to solidly screen people to make sure they're not, uh, I don't want to sound shitty, but "going through a phase"? I know you know yourself better, but some young people try on a lot of different roles in life and changing sex is about as big and permanent as changes come.

Not really comparable, but I'm as hetero/cis as it gets, and I played Wonder Woman on the playground for years, always had a feminine side regarding dress, etc. Hell, I'm 52 and have finally figured out to buy women's clothing as it fits me better.

Hope none of that was out of line. Again, I plead ignorance. Never known a trans person personally. Even being gay around here is still kept on the down-low.

[–] the_best_nerd@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

In reference to what you said about wait times, generally wanting to dress a certain way or play pretend as a certain character isn't all that goes into feeling trans. Usually, it is on some level knowing that you would be happier as a certain gender or with that gender's features. It's like other forms of body modification, like ear piercings. People don't get their ears pierced because they want to wear dresses, they get their ears pierced because they want ear piercings - though the two are often seen together. Similarly, someone won't just get go on testosterone or estradiol because they want to wear suits or dresses - they will go on the hormone of their choice because they feel like they would be happier with that hormone.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

That's why I said I understood about a person knowing themself better than another party. I at least get that much!

But please don't think I'm conflating wanting to dress a certain way and feeling you're really a man/woman trapped in the wrong body.

Back to the wait times though, isn't it far better to start early before sexual characteristics set in?

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.de 0 points 10 months ago

Back to the wait times though, isn’t it far better to start early before sexual characteristics set in?

It certainly would help the trans person to not endure a puberty that goes in the wrong way. But on the other hand, society really doesn't like that children get bodily autonomy (Heck even Woman are denied this basic right in most parts of this world) because those children are impressionable and easily manipulated, misguided...

by what thought? That conformity at all cost is the way forward?

[–] Lumelore@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

250 minutes of screening over several months seems excessive to me. For me I only spent like a few minutes describing my gender dysphoria before I got a diagnosis. Thing is, we spend a lot of time ourselves thinking about it, I personally spent 4 years thinking about it before I made an appointment, so screening for more than like 15 minutes is pretty redundant. Many trans people see it as offensive to suggest that we are going through a phase because of the pain we've had to go through and also only about 1% detransition and the majority that do detransition do so because they don't feel supported or safe and not because they realized it wasn't for them. Also the puberty that is forced on us also causes permanent changes and that is traumatizing for a lot of people.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 0 points 10 months ago (1 children)

puberty that is forced on us

That's my main concern. I can't imagine it's anything but sheer hell watching your body morph into a sex that isn't your own. Hell, I was scared when I was 13 and seeing my feet grow larger and flatten out. Other stuff started growing larger, early for me, so that balanced out.

I joke, but it's true. I clearly remember looking in the mirror at grandma's house once summer and being horrified at my feet, like I was turning into some sort of monster. Also, had my one and only wet dream that summer. Times, they were a changin'.

(And I don't know who's actually trans around here, but I'd like to hear from just them.)

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.de 0 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Thats the strange thing, during my male puberty I really didn't thought of it much. Sure I was a bit let down when I saw my member not getting anywhere and that my once so high pitched voice got dark as hell...

But now I'm facing my second puberty (with HRT and such) and I'm actually looking forward to it :D

[–] DmMacniel@feddit.de 0 points 10 months ago

I'm 36 years old. So waiting never has been an issue to me, even though I become a bit restless at the though of waiting and not progressing in any direction.

But no the screening isnt just about checking if you are just going through a phase, I believe. Its also about making an "informed decision", whatever that means really. Im not going through a phase and used the last month extensively to gather info, researching and testing out what works for me. But that would be something akin to self diagnostic, and Healthcare Providers (public) really don't like that... so you need to have an expert opinion on the matter.