I had a relationship with an older woman once, with a similar age gap.

It just clicked. I was e initiator, took a bit for me to convince her that I legitimately found her attractive, but once she got over the face palming about how young I was, it was just like a normal relationship, but with different music/tv tastes. She took the brunt of shit from her friends.

But it worked.

Eventually I broke up with her because I didn't see a future, the age gap was just too large. Also I lost the "spark" over time - normal relationship stuff.

I can only imagine how weird it must be for you as the father. I would be very skeptical at first because as I myself age, the more 21 year olds just look like fucking children, and I just can't imagine a world where I would be attracted to them.

BUT I was on the other side of that equation once and I'm telling you, it was legit.

You don't have to like your daughter's boyfriend - that's the father's sovereign right to harrumph. But, if he treats her well and she's happy, I would say do your best to accept it and make good, because it could be so much worse.

Most relationships at her age end, this one might too. Maybe she'll realize like I did that she's spinning up and he's winding down - maybe that will never matter for them. A gap that large will always have weird challenges, but it adds something really great for her also - he's likely to have a lot of general life shit figured out that her 22 year old BFs just won't, even if he's "childish," there's no replacement for 20+ years of life experience sometimes.

Good luck!

Since we’re all being candid here, I’ll admit that I’m wondering what your relationship with her looks like. People typically say these sorts of massive age gap relationships are due to “daddy issues”, and seeing as you’re the dad, you would probably know.

I hope that doesn’t come off as insensitive, I’m just curious as to what would drive a woman who is 20 to date a man almost exactly the same age as her father.

That sounds quite awkward and strange for you. I honestly can’t imagine how weird that must be. But it sounds like you’re handling it the best way possible by supporting your daughter, maintaining your relationship with her, and keeping an eye on the whole thing. She’s an adult who can make her own decisions (granted a very young adult), so from what I can tell you’re being a great dad!

Ugh. Nightmare fuel. Do you think he's a decent guy?

Jesus Christ, what do they even talk about?! Like, I'm not one to judge, but the dude's old enough to be her dad (heck, even older as you've indirectly said!), I have trouble relating to people ten years younger than me...

I can imagine this is deeply uncomfortable. But hang in there, maybe she's just figuring some things out with herself.

Become excellent friends with him. Push hard on the worst nostalgic millennial bullshit when you're together, so she gets that younger generation cringe factor when she thinks about him. Seeing men as old dudes just like dad wrecks the lady boner quick, assuming that's not her fetish.