Off My Chest
RULES:
I am looking for mods!
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I had a relationship with an older woman once, with a similar age gap.
It just clicked. I was e initiator, took a bit for me to convince her that I legitimately found her attractive, but once she got over the face palming about how young I was, it was just like a normal relationship, but with different music/tv tastes. She took the brunt of shit from her friends.
But it worked.
Eventually I broke up with her because I didn't see a future, the age gap was just too large. Also I lost the "spark" over time - normal relationship stuff.
I can only imagine how weird it must be for you as the father. I would be very skeptical at first because as I myself age, the more 21 year olds just look like fucking children, and I just can't imagine a world where I would be attracted to them.
BUT I was on the other side of that equation once and I'm telling you, it was legit.
You don't have to like your daughter's boyfriend - that's the father's sovereign right to harrumph. But, if he treats her well and she's happy, I would say do your best to accept it and make good, because it could be so much worse.
Most relationships at her age end, this one might too. Maybe she'll realize like I did that she's spinning up and he's winding down - maybe that will never matter for them. A gap that large will always have weird challenges, but it adds something really great for her also - he's likely to have a lot of general life shit figured out that her 22 year old BFs just won't, even if he's "childish," there's no replacement for 20+ years of life experience sometimes.
Good luck!