this post was submitted on 03 May 2025

448 points (93.9% liked)

WomensStuff

593 readers

246 users here now

Women only trans inclusive This is an inclusive community for all things women. Whether you're here for make up tips, feminism or just friendly chit chat, we've got you covered.

Rules…

Women only… trans women are women, and transphobic or gender critical talk isn’t allowed. Any woman-identified person under the trans umbrella (e.g. non-binary, bigender, agender) is welcome.
Don’t be a dick. No personal attacks, no aggression, play nice.
Don’t hate on groups, hatefilled talk about groups is not allowed. Ever.
No governmental politics, so no talk of Trump actions etc. We recommend Feminism@beehaw.org for that, but here is an escape from it.

founded 1 month ago

MODERATORS

CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al

LadyButterfly@lemmy.world

dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone

448

True...WOMENS ONLY COMMUNITY (lazysoci.al)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al to c/WomensStuff@lazysoci.al

60 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hi those from all! We're a women's only community, men we appreciate your interest but please do not comment 😊

top 50 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] Sarcophagus@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I imagine this is going to be difficult for you to run. The website is heavily weighted towards men and a very particular kind of man at that. I congratulate you on your endeavour and optimism and that is not sarcasm. A lot of women's sites are slowly eroded away until they disappear. Here's hoping we last out

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 6 points 1 day ago

Thanks mate. We've been blessed with some amazing women posters and some lovely men have commented to show support. It can be difficult but so far we're coping

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 39 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

I worked in a gift shop, one thing we sold was lotions/creams and had testers on the counter. Then one day the boss brought in some magnifying mirrors, 3x on one side and 10x on the other. We set up one on the counter. Every woman looked into that 10x mirror and their face fell. Then they'd sigh and grab a tester and pat cream into their face. We sold a lot of cream and lotion, and all the mirrors! But I hated it. I was glad when they were gone, because I didn't like having a bunch of depressed customers. And I certainly didn't want to keep catching glimpses of my own face in there! Every tiny crevice looked enormous, like I was 100 years old.

[–] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 days ago

I spent so much time in front of mirrors like that as a teenager, obsessing about every black-head and pimple, etc.

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 6 points 2 days ago

Oh lord that says it all!

[+] justOnePersistentKbinPlease@fedia.io 44 points 3 days ago (5 children)

[removed by mod]

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 16 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I want to add, there's no reason not to indulge in reasonable self-care, and everyone should be able to, within their means. No one should be unable. The skin is the largest body organ and our first barrier defense against illness and infection.

That said, we also need to take responsibility for our own ability to love ourselves, even if that means saying we love us until we get it. Because this isn't new, and we do often do it to ourselves, probably because of no small degree of conditioning. I watched a short (~40 minutes?) doco on Elizabeth I, she had a sweet tooth, a fear of dentists (who wouldn't, in those days?), and so rotten teeth. Because of the (not altogether true) hype of poets and paramours (which is a whole other ball of wax), women with perfectly (?!) good teeth began to blacken their teeth, to imitate Elizabeth.

TL;dr Our wounding isn't always our fault; our healing is our responsibility.

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Here's how my healing has gone down.

I don't shave. Period. We have hair for a reason and cutting it off with blades that can (and do) nick the skin, or pulling it painfully out by its roots, or dissolving it away with hazardous chemicals is not good for us at any level.
I don't use makeup. (Well, OK, not entirely true. For very special events I might hazard some lipstick.) Most makeup clogs pores and makes the skin actively unhealthy. In response to this we're meant to use a whole bunch of chemicals of dubious provenance to clean it off our skin?
I clean with just soap (yes, even my hair). Unperfumed soup. In my case I use Aleppo soap or a goat milk soap from Xinjiang. There are no perfumes, no harsh chemicals (like the laurel sulfates at the core of most shampoos, body washes, hand cleaners, etc.).
I don't use commercial deodorants. I have a spray bottle (like the kind for misting leaves in a garden) 500ml in size into which I drop 1-2 teaspoons of alum powder and fill the rest with water. It lasts all day, typically, though on a really rough day I might have to apply it a second time. (I have a small sprayer at work for those rare occurrences.) It is a bit pricey, though. The last batch I bought cost about twenty-five bucks. After two years I've used up 20% or so of it…
I wash with the hottest water I can stand to clean out pores. (No need for harsh chemicals if you melt the sebum that traps dirt away.) Then I rinse with the coldest water I can stand. That cold water rinse takes getting used to, but it's enervating and it somehow aids (I've had it explained to me but couldn't follow along) in moisturizing.
On a very dry day I may use a neutral moisturizer (no perfumes) with a hint of petroleum jelly to help seal it in.

The result of all this is:

I feel better and look better.
I save a whole lot of money.
I save a whole lot of time.
I stop stressing about what I look like to other people; let them judge away. It's a case of mind over matter: I don't mind, they don't matter.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Sounds great. I still shave in summer, but that's because it's cooler. Our fur should thin, in hot weather. ;) I've switched to shea moisture soap but I like the goat milk when I can get it. I mostly use the "no poo" method for my hair, sometimes with a little honey in the acv rinse, sometimes I use Shea Moisture conditioner, but I mostly do coconut oil with a "do rag" for a deeper conditioning.

No makeup. Occasional moisturizer, non-petrol. Witch hazel and mud mask for pores, sometimes steam with coconut oil for deep moisture.

Mineral salt in water for d/o. I'll have to try the alum and other tips you mentioned. Thanks so much!

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 4 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I can't afford the shea stuff here, sadly. (It's an import and not a cheap import like the Aleppo stuff.) :(

I think your "mineral salt in water" may be another way of saying "alum crystal in water" honestly. It has the same ring for sure.

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 18 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Thanks didn't realise it was on all, I've added to the post that it's a women only community

[–] altkey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

(some dude comments:) I've seen your posts in my feed a couple of times already, and I'm positively surprised there're not many troublemakers who get stirred wrong by someone asking for a safe space. The big reminder that it's a comm for women is, sadly, a goog idea for now on. Lemmy doesn't yet have a functionality to flag it like this, only to make a privated space with user vetting, that won't fly as high as an open community with posts in lemmy's Hot. Anyway, cheers, and please go on.

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 9 points 2 days ago

Thanks for your support! We're managing it for now, supportive men just get politely asked to not post again, troublemakers get banned. The nice thing is so many men have been really, really supportive of us which we really appreciate

load more comments (3 replies)

[–] SharkEatingBreakfast@sopuli.xyz 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The more "ugly" and "fat" they can make you feel, the more money they can snatch from you!

And they very quickly change the beauty standard goal posts.

It's a never-ending carousel of horror! 🎠🔥

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 18 points 3 days ago (6 children)

I'm pretty sure if everyone stopped buying purses, women would finally get pockets in their clothes.

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 2 points 10 hours ago

Hi mate, thanks for stopping by! This is a woman's only community so please don't post again 😊

[–] MysticMushroom1776@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 10 hours ago

I’m just a weird, furry, pan guy (cis he/him).

Hey appreciate the commentary but you aren't a woman and this is a women's space.

[–] greenfish@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I boycott clothes without pockets. It's improved my life 1000%

[–] xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 3 days ago

well at least they get fake pockets

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 4 points 2 days ago

It's the dream!

load more comments (1 replies)

[–] Bunbury@feddit.nl 12 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Off of the top of my head:

Makeup,
(Some types of ) clothing,
the diet industry - not saying hating your body is the only reason for a diet, but I suspect it’s 50-80% of the industry anyway
some parts of workout industry
some types of self-help books
cosmetic surgery

[–] Strawberry@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 days ago

The diet industry is definitely invested in having women hate our bodies. An actual lifelong healthy diet does not require their products

[–] phoenixarise@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago

I can believe this. Once I started appreciating myself, I didn’t need to buy so many potions, makeup, or any other weird thing that men think we need.

[–] ZDL@ttrpg.network 9 points 3 days ago

Insecurity is the driving force behind all lifestyle marketing, especially clothing and cosmetics.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 9 points 3 days ago

I'd say it's equally true of most industries.

load more comments